You Owe Them Honey

Have you even thought about killer bees lately? What if they overrun your home, as in Rockne S. O'Bannon's 1995 TV movie Deadly Invasion: The Killer Bee Nightmare? Think about it, won't you? Well, it's a competently made, sometimes pleasantly cheesy, movie.

There are two moments that stick out for me. One is a teenage couple going joyriding in the desert in a convertible with the top down. The girl sits on the headrest of her seat and takes her top off for a passing trucker who nearly drives off the road. Then the couple find a spot by an old billboard where a hive of killer bees are hidden. Of course, the bees morally punish our teens for their immodesty. Puritanism lives on in the bees!

The other part I liked was when the bees attack an outdoor wedding. The bride spots a kid curled up in a foetal position so she drops her veil to use it like a beekeeper's hood and goes out to save him. Now that's some clever thinking.

The movie stars Robert Hays as the patriarch trying to keep his family safe. You might remember him from Airplane!. It's a bit odd having the star of a panic movie parody starring in a sincere panic movie. Among reasons it was difficult to take the movie seriously it ranks a little low, though. Still, it was fun.

X Sonnet #1901

Comedic dishes sink to murder bowls.
A time of hills was passed to mountain shade.
Inverted ears resemble rabbit holes.
So hither came the nymphs to cupid's glade.
Relentless eyes demand a death a day.
The killing time was based in broken clocks.
Conniving winter rigged a ghost of May.
A Christmas gift was bound in metal socks.
In water times, the sand was never shown.
Convincing coral not to blanch was wrong.
The gauge of flesh was dark beside the bone.
Confusing bees would sing a troubled song.
Returning films were laden full of gold.
The metal demon's never getting old.

The Unperceived Companion Night

A poor young man with aristocratic tastes finds his fortunes rise when he meets a beautiful heiress. But all's not as it seems in 1972's Endless Night. Based on a 1967 Agatha Christie novel, it follows in the footsteps of Peeping Tom and Psycho to portray a seemingly innocent young man with a hidden, dark persona. It's part cosy English mystery, part psychological nightmare and I got a kick out of it.

It was the last film of the filmmaking team of Sidney Gilliat and Frank Launder, a duo primarily known for comedies in the '50s. They prove they were just as capable of making a murder mystery and they're helped a lot by a score from Bernard Herrmann and a terrific cast.

Hywel Bennett plays Michael, a chauffeur who likes to visit art galleries in his spare time. One day, taking photos in the countryside, he runs into Ellie, a beautiful American girl played by Hayley Mills. Mills' American accent is never convincing for a moment but it didn't bother me too much. It turns out she's rich and after they're married Michael draws the cagey suspicion of Ellie's lawyer uncle played by George Sanders, who committed suicide the same year. He does seem slightly detached in the film but he still gives a perfectly good performance.

Britt Ekland plays Ellie's domineering German assistant, Greta, whom Michael seems to detest.

The film's filled with subtle hints. We get some glimpses into Michael's childhood and the significant presence of a picture of God's eye in his bedroom, which seems to haunt him like the Eye of Sauron. As in Peeping Tom, there's a sense of Michael being psychologically damaged by not having privacy in his youth. I was also reminded of Lost Highway and Fred Madison's fear of cameras and video preventing him from remembering things his own way. Of course, I also think of Detour and Black Angel. Endless Night is a nice addition to this psycho tradition.

It's a Rock Monster

An architectural historian is shocked to find gargoyles coming to life in France and tearing people's heads off. 2009's Rise of the Gargoyles is a SyFy channel movie with cheap cgi and actors from daytime soap operas. I found the screenplay's inscrutable chain of logic kind of interesting.

One question no-one asks is, "Why?" Why are gargoyles coming to life and killing people? Why some people and not others? The architectural historian, Jack (Eric Balfour), has to be coaxed by a friend into visiting an 19th century church that's about to be demolished. Why does he have to be coaxed if this is his specialty? They rouse the wrath of they gargoyle for reasons that aren't clear. Jack manages to get some footage--his camera is busted in the escape but some news reporters manage to retrieve the footage. However, all the data is wiped the next morning as part of a routine in which all systems are rebooted at the news station. Why?

So Inspector Gibert can't see it of course. He's played by Welsh actor Ifan Huw Dafydd who puts on the most ridiculous, Pepe Le Pew accent you can imagine for the role, which stands in contrast to actual French speaker Caroline Neron who plays the news reporter--she's Canadian. The movie was shot at least partially in France, why doesn't it have any French actors? These are the enduring mysteries of Rise of the Gargoyles.