Pearl Still Kicking

I can't tell how bad 2022's X is supposed to be. Sometimes it feels like an intentional parody, other times I think it's meant to be sincere. It successfully creates some tension and some of the practical effects are great. But the makeup effects are laughably bad and its conception of the '70s porn industry seems to be based on 2000s Internet sketch comedy. Mia Goth gives a good performance as one character and a bad performance as another. It was the best of films, it was the worst of films.

X is a sequel to Pearl, or Pearl is a prequel to X. They were both made at the same time using the same sets but shot in different styles, an idea I really like. Both were directed and written by Ti West, though Pearl was co-written by Mia Goth, which, I suspect, is what makes it the superior film.

Where Pearl is set in 1918 and shot like a 1950s film, X is set in 1979 (the year of my birth!) and shot kind of like a Tobe Hooper movie with elements of Brian De Palma. Pearl's an old lady now, still played by Mia Goth, still living on the old farm. A group of young people come to stay at a boarding house on her property with the intention of making a porno. Mia Goth also plays Maxine, a would-be porn superstar in the group.

Her desire for fame resembles Pearl's and I guess the intended message was something like, "The more things change, the more they stay the same." I don't know. What I do know is that Pearl's old lady makeup looks really stupid.

I kept thinking, "Old ladies exist. You could've hired one and saved money on your makeup budget." She looks like DeForest Kelley in "Encounter at Farpoint". Except the old person makeup on Star Trek: The Next Generation was actually a bit better. Goth's performance as the old lady was really unconvincing, too. Her old lady voice reminded me of Lea Thompson in Back to the Future.

I feel like Ti West watched '70s movies with the intention of learning to make a film like Quentin Tarantino. He's undermined considerably by the fact that he shot on digital. Everything looks overlit, too. There's a scene where a guy steps on a rusty nail at night and I thought, "How couldn't you see that? It's like daylight."

There are a couple sex scenes for when they shoot the porno, invariably accompanied by cheesy faux-'70s funk music. I get it, West, you think porn is silly, but could you at least try to see it from the perspective of your characters? Oddly, I feel like he thought he was doing just that when he has them sitting around spouting a cheap philosophical argument about sex and free love. I had my issues with Pearl but at least it didn't undercut itself this badly.

Mia Goth (in the Maxine role) and Jenna Ortega both look great in the movie and there's some cool practical effects when Pearl starts chopping people up. But, man oh man, is this movie dumb.