Closer to Turtles

Well, I've lived to see the day that Trent Reznor scored a Ninja Turtles movie. At least 2023's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is a good movie. It has the best, most natural, dialogue of any Ninja Turtles incarnation I've seen.

It seems like Nickelodeon reboots Ninja Turtles almost annually. In fact, there was another movie released straight to Netflix just last year, based on the most recent animated TV series that began in 2018, following the end of another incarnation that ran from 2012 to 2017 (that 2012 series was really good, by the way). That series came out after a four year gap from the previous one. Then there's the various films, the live action Michael Bay movies, the well liked standalone 2007 animated film, the live action films from the '90s with Jim Henson puppet costumes. Somehow, none of this has diluted the brand.

I guess it may be because the characters are always recognisable. Leonardo's always the leader, Donatello's always the nerd, Raphael's always the hardass, and Michelangelo is always the laid back slacker. This time, Seth Rogen is leading the team of screenwriters and they've made the most believably teenage version of the team. The visible insecurity as they rib each other, the inexperience they display in fights, their struggle to find purpose and moral guidance, all make them feel like real teenagers (unlike the characters in that Six of Crows book I talked about last week).

This is aided by the casting of real teenagers in the roles, kids who have few or no previous credits to their names. The supporting cast is loaded with recognisable names, though. Jackie Chan plays their adoptive father, a mutant rat called Splinter, and I really liked the way he was written, too. He tells the story of his and the turtles' origins in flashback and I loved how he thought it important to mention that, when transformed, he and the turtles remained the same age they were before. It has that authentic feeling of a batty, inexperienced storyteller misunderstanding the importance of different pieces of information.

Rogen casts himself as Bebop, the mutant warthog, alongside John Cena as the mutant rhinoceros, Rocksteady. Both are perfectly cast, though the characters don't really get a chance to shine (this is the second animated role this year in which Rogen was perfectly cast, following his turn as Donkey Kong in Super Mario Brothers).

The story in this film seems to draw a lot of inspiration from X-Men, focusing on different factions of mutants arguing over whether humans should be befriended or obliterated. Ice Cube plays the lead villain, an enhanced fly amusingly called Superfly. I was a little disappointed with the ending that felt more like it belonged in a Marvel movie but, with so many incarnations of this franchise, I certainly can't fault the filmmakers for experimenting.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is available on Paramount+.