A Ladder Too Short

And last night I dreamt that I poured a lot of J&B scotch into a Glenlivet bottle. Don't know why.

I dreamt this after watching what many consider to be the worst episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. 1989's "Up the Long Ladder" really feels like three episodes awkwardly pasted together. The best of the three is the shortest in which Worf suddenly collapses on the bridge and Doctor Pulaski lies for him because he's embarrassed to admit he fainted. In gratitude, he shares a Klingon tea ceremony with her. The tea is deadly to humans so Pulaski takes an antidote. I really wondered what the tea tasted like.

Then it's downhill as the episode gets caught up in a plot about two ancient earth colonies: one filled with rural Irish stereotypes and the other filled with clones. One of the Irish stereotypes is a beautiful, angry young woman who flirts with Riker by constantly telling him she needs to wash her feet and asking him just where the hell a woman can do that on this fancy Starfleet ship. It's made clear she's looking for a husband yet the two inexplicably have a one night stand without a complaint from her.

Here's the moment where I fought the urge to stop watching the episode:

Yet, as bad as that plot is, I have to give the prize to the clone plot. When Riker and Worf see four identical women on the planet, they immediately assume they're quintuplets while anyone watching will immediately say, "Clones." Pulaski secretly tests one with a tricorder and there's this idiotic moment where she says, "Clones!" And then everyone takes turns saying "Clones."

It's like going into McDonalds and saying, "French fries? French fries? French fries."

When Riker and Pulaski are cloned against their will, the two of them immediately execute their nearly fully formed adult clones with phasers. This unauthorised cloning was done to perpetuate the colony, the people of which are no longer interested in sexual reproduction. When it's decided that the two colonies should combine, the clone colony with the Irish stereotype colony, Pulaski tells them every woman will be obliged to have children with at least three different men to ensure genetic diversity for the survival of the colony. The episode sadly concludes before it can deal with that heavy kettle of fish.

X Sonnet 1921

Restrictive nights combine the dreams of bats.
A timer shrieks, alerting certain rocks.
A book conceals a rack of headless hats.
The day concludes with cries of bootless socks.
A speechless song could not traverse the years.
Absorbing rainy time was spongy snow.
Consuming gods withheld Poseidon's beers.
A tiny brocc'li heart begins to glow.
The angry orc could only prove the elves.
Outrageous dwarves were drawn to snowy dames.
A line of books has bent the cheesy shelves.
Expanding pictures broke the rotten frames.
With little hope, the sun prepares its tea.
At dawn, horizons fell beneath the sea.