Sunday, June 14, 2020

Lava versus the Doctor

It's Sunday again and time for another part of my Doctor Who fanfic. I said at the beginning this would be four parts but this didn't feel like the end. So it turns out this will be five or six parts. (Part I can be found here, Part II can be found here, and Part III can be found here).

DOCTOR WHO

"The New Model Tomb"

by Setsuled

Part IV

The Doctor looked at Rob. “Mr. Fenner, would you like a lesson in geothermal engineering? Do say yes. We may survive if you do!”

“What do I do?” said Rob without hesitation. The Doctor nodded. She marched off to the left, past the two cowering Aeons, and motioned for Rob to follow her. Meanwhile, enough of the red liquid had poured out to completely fill the cavity outside the glass wall.

“There may not really be a volcano,” the Doctor explained while hurrying down a corridor. Rob struggled to catch up as steam pushed him from either side. Fast clouds of steam like cannon smoke flashed across his vision while the gleaming metal walls here and there were obscured in hot, roiling, white vapour. “This is all . . .” the Doctor waved her hand vaguely. “You know how a water mill works? The water turns the wheel?”

“Yes,” said Rob. “There's a wheel being turned by the red water?”

“That red water is in fact stone. Stone so hot that it's melted like iron in a forge. Many planets are filled with it, including Earth. All this steam you see--” she waved her hand “--is from a cooler liquid hitting the melted stone, like water in a forge. The steam pushes the wheel, or wheels, which we call turbines.”

They came now to a large, dark room with myriad flashing blue and yellow lights. The Doctor stopped and briefly turned to face him. “The advancement you see at work here,” she said as she resumed her brisk walk, “is twofold. Instead of water, the system uses a substance that remains—well, let's say a better sort of water. And also, the melted rock is conducted to power stations by the aqueducts you saw. Here.” She pointed at a pair of enormous, parallel, glowing tubes, each about the width of a rowboat. “It works marvellously, most of the time. It seems there's been a breach somehow, as you saw. This melted stone is now filling a failsafe reservoir but if we don't redirect it soon it will overflow and destroy, eh, everything. So.” she hastily removed her velvet coat and Rob saw her shift was soaked with sweat. He realised now his own shirt was, too. The Doctor rolled up her sleeves and grasped a large metal wheel on the wall and tried to turn it. Her face reddened with the exertion and she grunted but the thing wouldn't budge. Rob reached over her head to the top of the wheel and she moved aside, ducking under his arm. He pushed now and the thing slowly started to move.

“A quarter turn,” said the Doctor, breathlessly. It wasn't so different from turning the helm in rough weather.

A sound like an enormous door slamming echoed throughout the chamber from somewhere behind the wall.

“Okay, that's well,” said the Doctor, her lips spreading in an involuntary grin as she indulged in sailor talk. “Now I'm afraid we need to go down into the bilge.” Her voice dropped dramatically on that last word. She started over to a round hatch on the wall, pointing at a lever beside it as she talked. “The automatic systems designed to coordinate rerouteing the molten rock have broken or have been meddled with.”

Rob grasped the lever, its rubber grip sticking on his sweaty hands, and pulled it. The hatch swung open slowly.

“Mr. Fenner, I must warn you now . . .” To Rob's surprise, she now put one of her small, slender hands on his cheek. “If we go down there, we may be buried beneath several hundred tonnes of burning stone.” Since he'd met her, he'd been struck by her sharp eyes, always restless, making quick, precise movements. It was a face that could scarcely conceal a tireless, compulsive intellect. He'd seen mothers and young maidens caress the faces of their men in just such a manner as the Doctor did now. But while Rob didn't doubt her sincerity, he could tell the gesture was the product of calculation and study. Some men might have found this off-putting, even infuriating. Rob didn't mind it. He felt he understood somehow.

“I don't know this country well enough,” said Rob. “But if you see it as worth risking your life for, then I'll follow you.”

The Doctor reacted with a thin smile. “Well—all right.” She ducked into the hatch and he went in behind her.

A vertical ladder led into hot darkness, the steam about them serving as the sole illumination as it carried diffuse light from the room above. Gradually, Rob became aware of the steam turning red from a light growing below. He realised now they were in a thin shaft, something that became clearer as it opened up about them to reveal a massive chamber awash in red.

The Doctor sprang off the ladder, stumbled slightly, then got to her feet and started running. Rob did likewise, managing to catch up to her with his longer stride . . . but slowed as he took in the awesome sight of the glowing liquid, red mottled with yellow and black, flowing above him, on the ceiling.

“They must have some lovely hot springs around here,” said the Doctor, rapidly pressing buttons now on a panel as Rob caught up to her. “Right! I want you . . .” she looked up, squinting. Instead of finishing her sentence she started walking briskly again, stopping beside a podium. Rob saw the floor here stopped and there was a remarkable river of shining liquid, reflecting the red from above but not the same substance in itself. The light glinting off it nearly blinded him.

“And that's not working either,” said the Doctor, grimacing at the podium. “There should be a bridge . . .” Now he followed her eyes to a series of thin metal planks across the river a few yards upstream. She walked up to one and put her foot on it, her nice black heel clacking loudly on the metal. She shrugged. “It's a little wobbly. But we've got our sea legs.”

She gathered up her skirts and started walking, slower than before but faster than he thought she really ought to. He hurried to follow her, as much to catch her if she lost her balance as to get across himself.

“I really did meet Oliver Cromwell, you know,” she said.

“What?” It took a moment for the words to make sense, being so out of context, “What—what makes you tell me this now?”

“I met him in Ireland,” she said. “With his New Model Army. Were you in the army?”

“No,” he watched her feet, one in front of the other, with perfect balance. “I was a seaman throughout the wars.”

“He's a complicated man, Cromwell. A man of firm principle but not the zealot some make him out to be. An intelligent man. But he presided over a slaughter in Drogheda. Of routed men, women, and children.”

Rob didn't say anything. They were almost to the other side. He felt the plank beneath him, its centre of gravity. He had no trouble walking it except the glimmer off the strange river below him was worse than any reflection of the sun off the sea. It was easier to watch the Doctor than look down at his own feet. “I hadn't heard about that,” he said finally.

“I don't imagine you would have,” said the Doctor, jumping lightly off the plank and onto the floor of a large sort of alcove filled with a variety of cabinets, each with glowing buttons and screens. “My point is . . . take care whom you follow.”

“I know that, Doctor,” said Rob.

A door opened at the back of the alcove and a black man in his twenties with a cleft chin, sweat pouring down his face, leaned against the doorway and looked at the two interlopers in alarm. “Who the hell are you?”

“I'm . . . ” began the Doctor. She stopped as his eyes immediately focused on one of the panels. The man was an Aeon and Rob could hear his wiry helmet clicking over the ambient roar of the red river above. He staggered to one of the panels, he seemed exhausted. He flicked one switch and then his arm seemed to be sapped of strength for a moment and he accidentally hit three other switches as his arm fell across the controls. There was a low hum that dropped quickly in tone before disappearing.

“I'm the Doctor,” she began again, coming to his side and rapidly pressing a series of buttons. He leaned against the wall, watching her hands in amazement, breathing heavily.

“The . . . sector 30—the coils in sector 30 must . . . must be active for the yeodrogen to flow—to . . .” he winced.

“Rob, I need you to pull the green levers on the panel over on that wall,” she pointed. He nodded and immediately did so. Over the next few minutes she gave him instructions while the exhausted Aeon watched them, astonished. Gradually, the alarm sounds died down and generally Rob had a sense of things being put back in order. The Aeon leaning against the wall was looking more and more relieved.

Finally the Doctor released a breath and stepped back. She turned to look at Rob and smiled, laughing a little. He smiled too.

“Wait!” said the Aeon, struggling to stand. Rob immediately went to help him up. “You're a Doctor? My father--”

“Where is he?” asked the Doctor. The Aeon pointed at the door he'd come through and Rob helped the man walk behind the Doctor as he directed her down a few corridors to a smaller room filled with screens and two chairs. One of the chairs was tipped over and on the ground was an older black man, breathing heavily. He was awake, watching them warily, and Rob could see his leg was twisted under him. Beside him was a small open case filled with what Rob assumed were surgeon's tools. Rob helped the Doctor move the man's leg out from under him carefully. “Hello,” she said, smiling at him as she began to cut open his pant leg with a small knife from her pocket. She took a small white tube from the nearby case and from it began to squeeze a clear gel which she rubbed into his swollen, misshapen, black and purple shin. “I'm the Doctor. What happened here?”

“Where's your helmet?” said the old man, suspiciously.

“Dad, she got the whole system up and working again,” said the young man leaning against Rob.

“She's not a medic?” asked the old man, seeming positively offended by the sight of the Doctor's bare forehead.

“Oh, I've been a compulsive student in my time and seem to have amassed a variety of expertises,” she said as though it were the most trivial of comments.

“Where's your helmet?” he asked again, sounding angrier.

She started putting small metal disks in a row on the man's injury. “What exactly happened here?” she asked.

“There was a failure on the upper row of the northeast arm complement,” explained the younger man. “Once they stopped, eight cables snapped on the conveyors which were still moving on that side.”

“How did that happen?” asked the Doctor.

“We still don't know,” the younger man looked uncomfortable.

“What happened,” said the old man, trying to rise up, “is some joker played a prank and took out all the old—the old works and put a bunch of nonsense in the top floor of the north building. Hank and I have no business with this fool equipment, whatever it is.”

“Ah ha,” said the Doctor, raising an eyebrow as she finished up by spreading a white bandage across the man's leg. “There, that should do.” She started to help the man stand up but he held up his hand.

“I'll sit a while, if you don't mind, 'Doctor',” he said.

She shrugged, “All right, if you're comfortable. How long have you two worked here?”

“My dad has been head engineer in this station for forty years,” said Hank, the younger man. “I installed the engineering data too and became an engineer eighteen years ago.”

“How old were you?” asked Rob.

“I was ten, the usual age,” he said, looking more comfortable.

Rob nodded. “That's about the time I first went to sea.”

Hank looked confused. “You two don't seem like Wanters.”

“I'm always wanting things,” said the Doctor. “I could do with a cup of tea for starters.”

There came a sound of many footsteps in the corridor outside followed very quickly by the appearance of Detective Inspector Marwat. She was accompanied by a dozen Aeons carrying white and silver rifles.

“The Aeon State orders the Doctor and her companion to submit to immediate arrest!” cried Marwat, trembling as she said it. Her commanding tone was at odds with her whole demeanour. Rob felt like if he took but one aggressive step in her direction she would immediately run in terror. “Put your hands on your heads!”

The the Doctor languidly complied, placing her palms lightly on top of her voluminous hair. Rob put his hands on his head as Hank pulled away from him with a look of sudden comprehension on his face.

“May I know on what charge?” asked the Doctor.

“You are charged with poisoning the data implants and sabotaging the power station!” said the Inspector, trying to hold back a sob.

“Now wait a minute,” said the old man, slowly rising from the floor. “I thought this Doctor here saved the station.”

“Analytics show the likelihood of the Doctor being the saboteur in the 80 to 85 percent range,” said Hank, firmly. “It's in folder four thousand two hundred six B.”

“Can't you see it?” the Inspector asked the old man plaintively.

The old man blinked rapidly, looking away, unable to respond or meet her gaze.

Hank leaned in close to Inspector Marwat's ear, causing her to recoil reflexively. “He's been poisoned,” he said in a low voice. The Inspector's eyes widened in terror.

A young white man with blotchy skin, one of the guards accompanying the Inspector, approached her from her other side and said, “Inspector, it's 16:50.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Right, okay. You can go home just as soon as we get the prisoners into a car.”

“I was just saying I want tea!” said the Doctor, delighted.

The inspector drew her gun and pointed it at the Doctor. “We don't want anything!” she shrieked. “Now you will remain silent and come with us!”

TO BE CONTINUED

Saturday, June 13, 2020

The Journey from Wood to Man

"When you wish upon a star . . . Anything your heart desires will come to you." That's what the famous song says in 1940's Pinocchio and yet its a film with a consistent message about how the easy route is never the right route to what you want. It's an incredibly complex, strange, funny, and beautiful film. Snow White is a great achievement in animation but Pinocchio is really Disney's first great film.

Based on a darker 1883 story by Carlo Collodi, the Disney film is a sterling example of the Disney attitude and aesthetic perfectly suiting a subject for adaptation. The less human a character looks, the easier time the animators had working with him. The dwarfs in Snow White are much more developed than Snow White herself and Sleeping Beauty is really a movie about the fairy godmothers, not Aurora. The princess is an archetype, though, so it works on that level. Pinocchio is an everyman, or everyboy--even more than that, or less, he's a blank slate. But he's little, he has a big head and big eyes. He's expressive, he's all emotion, not a lot of brains.

Which is where Jiminy Cricket comes in, of course. He's there to help finish the job started by Geppetto, with his wish, and the Blue Fairy, with her magic. But ultimately its up to Pinocchio himself to determine whether he has what it takes to be a real boy or if he's going to just be a real jackass.

Speaking of movies that may not align with current moral standards, it's a testament to the film's position in the Disney canon that nothing in it has been cgied out on Disney+. Not Pinocchio smoking a big fat cigar, not Geppetto's wonderfully naughty cuckoo clocks.

And it works marvellously well because of it; it feels honest.

So many people have analysed and discussed this film and the Pinocchio story in general. Maybe you're one of the more than a million people who's watched Jordan Peterson's nice lecture on YouTube. It's amazing so many people apparently stuck around for more than two hours for a university lecture--albeit a particularly good one. I saw video where Noam Chomsky was asked about Jordan Peterson. Chomsky laughed derisively and claimed never to have watched one of Peterson's videos, instead referring to an article he'd read about Peterson which he felt said everything needed to be said about Peterson. The article, called "The Intellectual We Deserve", basically asserts that Peterson is overrated but suited to an "impoverished political and intellectual landscape". Spoken like someone who doesn't like kids.

Many of Peterson's fans consider him a modern day philosopher on the level of Nietzsche or Kant. That's definitely going too far. But what Peterson is--or was, if the mysterious ailment that has silenced him is permanent--is a very good lecturer. A good lecturer who's successfully transferred his intelligence and talent to a popular medium at a time when students find university lectures thin on substance, dominated by the shallow and yet bottomless well of deconstructionism. Here's a guy who can actually talk about Freud and Jung and Dostoevsky, offer his interpretation of their ideas, and apply them to a subject in a way that captures the imaginations of students who are being exposed to these things for the first time.

He draws people's attention to the fact that the film's message is still very good and very relevant, all too relevant in a world where the myriad forms of instant gratification on the internet can turn people into helpless jackasses. I love that part of the Pleasure Island story--when the kids are turned into donkeys for slave labour. Of course, if you pursue only idle pleasure, you're not going to cultivate the willpower to assert yourself when you need to.

The film is filled with potent, dreamlike scenarios. I love how the whale, Monstro, is put together in the film. There's not one thing about him reflective of actual physics or anatomy, from his habit of sleeping on the sea floor like a big sack of goo, to his hollowed out interior. Somehow being swallowed by him puts you in a spot where you can see his spine.

I hadn't watched the film since I was a kid so it was wonderfully refreshing when I watched it last week. Pinocchio is available on Disney+--for now.

Twitter Sonnet #1363

Another cup of tea invites the nose.
Deceptive watches click beside the breast.
The shadows strike a strangely normal pose.
Decisions number hearts among the best.
A paper wall detains a shadow passing through.
The lantern tricks deliver dreams to night.
The solemn gang has endless things to do.
Projected noise creates a sonic fight.
Tomatoes grow again beneath the cloud.
The endless muddy pond contains the seeds.
The dot of health would make the lettuce proud.
Another pod was filled with hungry beads.
Insistent rice has filmed the grainy shot.
From crimson choice, the bev'rage can was hot.

Friday, June 12, 2020

Then It's the Bomb That will Bring Us Together

Flowers are deadly serious business on Farscape, especially when there's a nuclear bomb involved.

Season Four, Episode Twenty One: We're So Screwed, Part III: La Bomba

Negotiations inevitably fall apart once again and our heroes are forced to improvise complicated plans as they go along. Things really go south when the sensor Crichton (Ben Browder) rigged for his nuke belt stops working, taking all his leverage with it.

Both he and Aeryn (Claudia Black) seem strangely withdrawn in this episode. I suspect this was intentional, maybe a comment on the inevitable emotional fatigue that may occur after years and years of torture and harrowing escapes. Still, especially in Claudia Black's case, I can't help just feeling like the actors are checked out. I wonder if it was related to any offscreen drama.

Everyone else seems very alive--Chiana (Gigi Edgeley), D'Argo (Anthony Simcoe), and Rygel (Jonathan Hardy) are all as crazy and/or irascible as ever. But their parts are small--most of the episode's actual drama involves the power plays among Scarrans and Peacekeepers.

The Scarrans are certainly a wonder to behold. The Emperor (Duncan Young) actually navigating between benevolence and threats when dealing with Crichton comes off as genuinely smart. The rivalry between Ahkna (Francesca Buller) and Janek (Jason Clark) is amusing.

And, meanwhile, Braca (David Franklin) relieves Grayza (Rebecca Riggs) of duty, citing her mental instability and not her dress code. I do miss the time when a character on a tv show could show that much cleavage for no particular reason.

Really, though, it's a fair cop; Grayza was going to force the whole crew to join her in a suicide mission.

We also learn a little more about Sikozu (Raelee Hill) in this episode and her involvement with a strange resistance group. It's too bad this is only one episode away from the end of the series--I would have liked to have seen her relationship with Scorpius (Wayne Pygram) play out properly.

The Stark (Paul Goddard) who tortured Scorpius is revealed in this episode to in fact be a bioloid. Noranti (Melissa Jaffer) and Rygel (Jonathan Hardy) rescue the real Stark. I don't quite see why the real Stark couldn't have tortured Scorpius.

All in all, a good episode but, again, not quite reaching the highs of pre-season four episodes.

. . .

Farscape is available now on Amazon Prime.

This entry is part of a series I'm writing on Farscape for the show's 20th anniversary. My previous reviews can be found here (episodes are in the order intended by the show's creators rather than the broadcast order):

Season One:

Episode 1: Pilot
Episode 2: I, E.T.
Episode 3: Exodus from Genesis
Episode 4: Throne for a Loss
Episode 5: Back and Back and Back to the Future
Episode 6: Thank God It's Friday Again
Episode 7: PK Tech Girl
Episode 8: That Old Black Magic
Episode 9: DNA Mad Scientist
Episode 10: They've Got a Secret
Episode 11: Till the Blood Runs Clear
Episode 12: Rhapsody in Blue
Episode 13: The Flax
Episode 14: Jeremiah Crichton
Episode 15: Durka Returns
Episode 16: A Human Reaction
Episode 17: Through the Looking Glass
Episode 18: A Bug's Life
Episode 19: Nerve
Episode 20: The Hidden Memory
Episode 21: Bone to be Wild
Episode 22: Family Ties

Season Two:

Episode 1: Mind the Baby
Episode 2: Vitas Mortis
Episode 3: Taking the Stone
Episode 4: Crackers Don't Matter
Episode 5: Picture If You Will
Episode 6: The Way We Weren't
Episode 7: Home on the Remains
Episode 8: Dream a Little Dream
Episode 9: Out of Their Minds
Episode 10: My Three Crichtons
Episode 11: Look at the Princess, Part I: A Kiss is But a Kiss
Episode 12: Look at the Princess, Part II: I Do, I Think
Episode 13: Look at the Princess, Part III: The Maltese Crichton
Episode 14: Beware of Dog
Episode 15: Won't Get Fooled Again
Episode 16: The Locket
Episode 17: The Ugly Truth
Episode 18: A Clockwork Nebari
Episode 19: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part I: A Not So Simple Plan
Episode 20: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part II: With Friends Like These . . .
Episode 21: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part III: Plan B
Episode 22: Die Me, Dichotomy

Season Three:

Episode 1: Season of Death
Episode 2: Suns and Lovers
Episode 3: Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part I: Would'a, Could'a, Should'a
Episode 4: Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part II: Wait for the Wheel
Episode 5: . . . Different Destinations
Episode 6: Eat Me
Episode 7: Thanks for Sharing
Episode 8: Green Eyed Monster
Episode 9: Losing Time
Episode 10: Relativity
Episode 11: Incubator
Episode 12: Meltdown
Episode 13: Scratch 'n Sniff
Episode 14: Infinite Possibilities, Part I: Daedalus Demands
Episode 15: Infinite Possibilities, Part II: Icarus Abides
Episode 16: Revenging Angel
Episode 17: The Choice
Episode 18: Fractures
Episode 19: I-Yensch, You-Yensch
Episode 20: Into the Lion's Den, Part I: Lambs to the Slaughter
Episode 21: Into the Lion's Den, Part II: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Episode 22: A Dog with Two Bones

Season Four

Episode 1: Crichton Kicks
Episode 2: What was Lost, Part I: Sacrifice
Episode 3: What was Lost, Part II: Resurrection
Episode 4: Lava's a Many Splendoured Thing
Episode 5: Promises
Episode 6: Natural Election
Episode 7: John Quixote
Episode 8: I Shrink Therefore I Am
Episode 9: A Prefect Murder
Episode 10: Coup by Clam
Episode 11: Unrealised Reality
Episode 12: Kansas
Episode 13: Terra Firma
Episode 14: Twice Shy
Episode 15: Mental as Anything
Episode 16: Bringing Home the Beacon
Episode 17: A Constellation of Doubt
Episode 18: Prayer
Episode 19: We're So Screwed: Fetal Attraction
Episode 20: We're So Screwed, Part II: Hot to Katratzi

Thursday, June 11, 2020

The Cops

From here in Japan, I continue to see news of the U.S. transforming strangely and drastically. Now it seems there calls for disbanding the police. In fact, Minneapolis has already pledged to disband its police department. Considering how quickly they punished the killers of George Floyd, I suppose it's not surprising they'd have the willpower for that.

But what would it mean not to have a police department? To some extent, we already know. A standing police force in the western world isn't that new. London's first police force is widely considered to be the Bow Street Runners, established by the author and magistrate Henry Fielding, the same man who wrote Tom Jones. You can look to one of his contemporaries, Daniel Defoe, and his book Moll Flanders to see how street crime was dealt with before police. A scene where the title character, Moll, attempts to steal something is interrupted when she's spotted. What follows is essentially a citizen's arrest where witnesses are empowered to drag the accused to a constable or magistrate. Do you suppose Antifa would accept the judgement of such magistrates?

Often what would happen is something that you might have caught a glimpse of in the 2017 Doctor Who episode "Thin Ice" where the Doctor and his companion, Bill, are detained by a group of thugs under hire for a wealthy gentleman.

In other words, the inevitable consequence of removing a public government service is the increase of a private enterprise to fill the void. Is this a good idea? Should only victims of sexual assault, for example, who can afford resourceful private detectives and bounty hunters be allowed to see their assailants brought to justice?You may quote statistics for how rarely perpetrators of sexual assault are brought to justice in the current system. But the alternative would seem to be a world that benefits only the very wealthiest of victims.

I heard even the TV show Cops has been cancelled after thirty years on the air. Why? If it shows cops doing bad things, surely that would be a useful check on the institution. If it shows them doing good things, why is that bad? I suppose it would be a troublesome complication in a clear message.

Twitter Sonnet #1362

Translucent sprites conduct the cursor home.
The game controllers fell from slackened grips.
Suspense retires late on beds of foam.
The perfect tea was brewed from leafy tips.
Examples stitched in wood redeem the moon.
Remembered times create the golden watch.
Excessive wings support the silver loon.
The spinning train exists around the blotch.
The copy car relays along the beach.
A timer told the house about the tea.
A brush for teeth resides beyond your reach.
Eclipses hid the silent totem bee.
The noodles wait beyond the dinner plate.
The leaves would whisper near the garden gate.

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

The Universal Appeal of One Cowboy

I've been teaching at a Japanese junior high school about a week and a half now. It's been a pleasure, the kids are great, and one thing they all seem to agree on is Toy Story. So many have told me that Toy Story 3 is better than Toy Story 2 and they sure are right. So far I've heard no verdict on the fourth film.

It's a little ironic because, watching 2 and 3 over the past couple nights, I was struck by what an anachronistic, old fashioned American hero is Woody (Tom Hanks).

I guess the premise that he's a toy is just enough of a spin that a sincere, sweet, straightforward cowboy is acceptable as a lead. Not that kids, even Japanese kids, would have any bias against cowboys but they're not film producers.

Toy Story 2 is a good film and its story of Woody struggling with his loyalty to Andy and finding a new, more permanent home among his complete cowboy set is pretty good. Though the underlying reason behind his quandary, that he knows Andy will outgrow him one day, is what makes the third film so much more interesting since it explores exactly that topic directly.

The separation of 11 years also makes for a quantum leap in computer animation, too, which certainly helps. How much more effective it is when the state of the art texturing and expertly crafted human gestures turns an unruly mob of toddlers into something that really looks like it could obliterate a hapless toy collection. And then there's also the introduction of several effective characters, particularly Lotso (Ned Beatty) and Ken (Michael Keaton).

What might have otherwise been a throwaway, over the top, overdone parody of Barbie's Ken gets surprising nuance entirely due to Michael Keaton's performance. So his sudden passion for Barbie is genuinely funny and his shifting loyalties are surprisingly believable.

The Toy Story films are available on Disney+.

Tuesday, June 09, 2020

All About Anne Baxter

What goes around comes around on Columbo, sort of. The 1973 episode, "Requiem for a Fallen Star", features Anne Baxter as the famous movie siren in decline, essentially the opposite of the rising young star she played in All About Eve. It's a fun episode, even if Baxter is a bit of a ham in it. Peter Falk still manages to squeeze some genuine sweetness from the story as the fan who truly didn't want to believe one of his favourite stars could be a murderer.

Just like her character in All About Eve, Baxter's involved with the cynical, razor wit movie critic, though in this case he's played by Mel Ferrer instead of George Sanders. Ferrer's neither as witty nor as charming as Sanders, though. Sanders, even when he was playing a complete bastard, had a subtle undercurrent of melancholy warmth to him. Mel's okay but he's no Jose or Miguel.

We could still think of this episode as secretly featuring Baxter in the same role she played in the great movie with Bette Davis, though. It's easy to assume she'd end up in a poisonous relationship with another critic twenty years down the line.

It's another episode with a great cast sauntering about mansions and cafes before the dishevelled detective shuffles in and spoils it all. Also featured are Kevin McCarthy and All About Eve costume designer Edith Head.

Columbo is available on Amazon Prime.

Sunday, June 07, 2020

Fighting Crime is Foxy's Scene

Her man was brought down by the illegal drugs industry he worked to destroy. Now she's getting revenge in 1974's Foxy Brown. This sort of sequel to Coffy is a smoother, more focused ride from the same director, Jack Hill, and featuring the same star, the inimitable Pam Grier.

Foxy's boyfriend, a Federal Agent, is recuperating from facial reconstruction surgery in secret. Meanwhile, her brother, Link (Antonio Fargas), is in trouble again, mixed up with drug pushers and once again trying to get ahead in the trade himself.

He pleads with Foxy to understand--he has ambition but as a black man who can't play professional sports his options are limited. She's not impressed and tells him to get his act together. So he fingers her boyfriend for a gang headed by the ruthless Katherine Wall (Kathryn Loder) who wears what appears to be the mechanical owl from Clash of the Titans on her neck.

It's an exploitation film and it delivers on sex and violence admirably. Grier comes off as more confident in the action sequences than she did in Coffy and her schemes to seduce and kill are a little more satisfying. Once again, Sid Haig plays a minor character--a different one from the first film.

He really seems like he's having a good time, his ability to convey genuine mirth outpacing most of the other actors in the film. But mostly this is Grier's movie and she carries it with aplomb.

Foxy Brown is available on Amazon Prime.

Twitter Sonnet #1361

On billiard greens the cues decide the paths.
In fruitful dreams detectives harvest sails.
Successive nights entail a string of baths.
The little gulp was deep and swam with whales.
The gathered grains pretend a plant arrived.
The movie prints absorbed a vapour cloud.
A whispered brain in spirits late contrived.
A rapid face collapsed beneath a shroud.
The middle door was green and hid a coat.
The flashing screen proceeds to grant a bill.
Discussions ranged on what to call a boat.
Remembered woods conceal the travelled meal.
Converted boxes took the form of bowls.
Reverted foxes eke the life of gnolls.

Saturday, June 06, 2020

The Doctor is a Doctor

Happy Sunday, everyone. Here's the latest chapter in my Doctor Who fan fiction. (Part I can be found here and Part II can be found here).

DOCTOR WHO

"The New Model Tomb"

by Setsuled

Part III

The Doctor grinned, looking ahead. “Brenda was a suspect. And now, she knows Brenda has an alibi for February Fifth.”

“Ah . . .” said Rob slowly, glancing back at the taciturn inspector. “And so she's come with us now . . .”

“Because we likely look like prime suspects ourselves,” finished the Doctor.

Rob didn't know what to think of this. Around him, the general ruin started to seem worse as they went along now. Strange black and twisted shapes emerged from the rubble in various places, some of it his mind could resolve into familiar pieces of structural supports for buildings but much of it was unrecognisable, something he found increasingly disturbing. Shattered shapes with complex parts clearly once had functions he couldn't imagine. Smooth pieces of clear glass were piled like dust in charred boxes. Thick, tangled black lines drooped from overhead like willow branches. Now and then, the Doctor put a restraining hand on his arm, warning him not to trod on this or that piece of wreckage.

“It looks like this city was attacked,” the Doctor remarked. “Six years ago?”

“Seven,” said Billy, the redhead. “Where have you travelled from?”

“Who attacked you?” asked the Doctor.

“Why don't you ask Miss E-Yun?” said Tom without turning around. The Doctor, with raised eyebrows, turned to Inspector Marwat. The inspector only glanced at the Doctor and trudged on.

“Did the Aeons assault the city?” asked the Doctor.

“That's what the Wanters would have you believe,” the Inspector said flatly.

“And what would you have me believe?” prompted the Doctor.

The inspector said nothing. She only gave the Doctor a look that was half fear and half disgust.

A glowing green and white beam, bigger than a yard on a man-o-war, now jutted out at a slight angle as they rounded a pale grey hill of rubbish. It illuminated so much of the area it made Rob suddenly realise how dark it had gotten.

This beam proved to be a sort of trim on a rooftop of a building half buried. A doorway was uncovered except by remnants of a ragged, iridescent curtain. The Doctor, Rob, and the inspector followed Tom into an interior dimly lit by two thin, white, glowing beams in the ceiling. Many similar beams throughout the room were grey and lifeless. On the dirty floor, on four bare mattresses, were four female shapes, one of them a woman, the other three were girls, fifteen or sixteen years old. Here was something all too familiar to Rob though he'd never seen it afflict women and girls: battle wounds. The woman was unconscious, a white bandage wrapped about her head and her arm was in a shiny metal splint. One of the girls, a sweet faced lass with straight, dirty blonde hair, was propped up on her elbow and Rob assumed one or both of her legs were injured where they lay hidden beneath a thick, clean, beige sheet. The Doctor swiftly knelt beside another of the girls at the far end. Reaching into an inside pocket of her coat, the Doctor produced a pair of black glasses and put them on. Rob held back, not wanting to be in the way. The girl had dark hair, matted against her flushed and sweaty forehead. He couldn't tell if she was conscious but there was a pained expression on her face. From the thin sound of her breath and shuddering chest, he guessed at least one of her ribs was broken.

The Doctor briskly pulled off her glasses and looked around. “Have you any Ondrigen epoxy?”

Billy looked at her with an uncomprehending expression. Tom scowled and folded his arms over his chest. Inspector Marwat watched everyone in turn, pieces of her armour making faint clicking sounds.

The Doctor sighed. “I've dealt with worse. Maybe all I need is my sonic screwdriver.” She produced a tool with a glowing blue tip. With her other hand, she gently stroked the girl's forehead.

“Can you save her?” asked the conscious girl in a shy, quiet voice. The Doctor gave her a tight smile and said, “I can try. What's her name?”

“Lisa.”

The Doctor leaned closer to Lisa's face. “Lisa, I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt.” She put the glasses back on and placed the glowing tip of the tool a few inches from Lisa's breast. She hesitated a moment. Then there was a soft, high pitched sound like a mouse sustaining a squeal. It was suddenly drowned out by a cry from the girl. The Doctor's hand tightened on her forehead and she moved the tool slowly up and down along the girl's chest. The girl's cries choked off and Rob expected blood now to burble out of her mouth. But it didn't.

The girl whimpered once and then relaxed. The Doctor continued slowly moving the device back and forth along her chest for what seemed like an hour. Rob found out later it had only been about ten minutes. Finally, the little mouse scream stopped and the Doctor let out a breath and smiled. She wiped Lisa's forehead and stood up. When the other girl, who'd waited patiently throughout the procedure, asked, “Will she be okay?” the Doctor grunted in affirmative, a most unladylike sound, Rob thought.

“Oh, thank you,” said the girl as the Doctor carefully removed her glasses and put them back in her coat, not looking at the four.

“And what were you doing, my girl, hmm?” the Doctor asked in a severe tone.

“They were drinking on the conveyor belt,” said Billy. “Over at Henchel's factory.”

“Oh?” said the Doctor. “And what does Henchel make?”

“Kitchen appliances,” said Tom. “Sells them to colonies on Hopsai and Enanes.”

“I see. And you don't sell to Aeons?”

Before Tom or Billy could reply, Inspector Marwat stepped forward, “Doctor, I'm going to have to ask you and your friend to come with me.”

“I thought you'd never ask,” the Doctor grinned.

As she and Rob followed the inspector out, Tom said, “Thank you, Doctor.” Not very loudly, as though he'd almost prefer the Doctor didn't hear.

So the Doctor almost shouted, “You're quite welcome!” in reply then stopped at the doorway and pointed at the girls. “And you—stay out of trouble, eh?”

“Am I right in thinking,” said Rob once they were outside, “you mended the lass's broken rib?”

“Hmm, three broken ribs,” said the Doctor, pushing aside a large metal panel.

“Amazing,” he said, remembering everything else he'd seen this woman do. “You're a genius!”

“Hmm, yes,” she said, running a hand through her blonde hair piled messily atop her head in wide curls.

“That's hardly remarkable,” said Inspector Marwat irritably from behind them. The Doctor and Rob stopped as the inspector made her way around them. “All Aeons are geniuses.”

“Really?” said the Doctor slowly, her eyes wide. Just then, the air began to swirl about them and the Inspector's craft descended from the darkness above. It landed and brilliant white light poured from its side hatch.

“Inside, now!” shouted the inspector, vigorously swiping the air with her arm to motion them in.

Rob ducked inside behind the Doctor and soon found himself on smooth leather upholstery, inside the weirdly smooth interior, the most comfortable seat he'd had in his life. “Don't you want my hanger, Constable?” he asked.

“Your what?” said the inspector, scooting into a small space at the front of the craft and gripping a small black wheel.

“His sword,” said the Doctor.

“Oh, you're no threat to me,” said the inspector.

The Doctor and Rob both raised their eyebrows, exchanging looks.

Then came the peculiar sensation as the craft lifted off the ground. It was night outside and due to the bright interior illumination all Rob could see of the world were the few tiny pinpricks of light that suddenly fell away. It was amazing but his stomach had been fortified by a ride in the TARDIS. So he kept his wits and his breakfast.

“How do you mean, all Aeons are geniuses?” asked the Doctor.

“We've evolved, that's all,” said the inspector.

“And the Wanters haven't, I take it?”

“They could, if they were willing,” said the inspector with undisguised repulsion. “It's an endless mystery. Why do the poor consistently make the worst decisions for themselves?”

“You Aeons have better schooling, then?” put in Rob.

“You might say that,” said the inspector with a smirk.

“Or you might say you have cybernetic enhancements,” said the Doctor, pointing at the wiry helmet on the other woman's head.

“Is that a magic helmet?” asked Rob.

“There's no such thing,” said the Doctor. “It's science. Her helmet connects an external, intricate cloud of electronic information seamlessly to her consciousness.”

“It's not external,” said Inspector Marwat, angry with a surprising suddenness. “It's who we are. We are in the cloud and the cloud is in us!”

“Except there's been a problem lately, hasn't there?” said the Doctor, leaning forward with a smile that was both weary and eager.

“How did you know that?” demanded Inspector Marwat.

“Oh,” the Doctor waved her hand, “an educated guess.”

“Or you have something to do with it.”

The Doctor's tone turned deadly serious, “I promise you I don't.”

The inspector flicked some switches on the panel before her. “You certainly don't seem to have a favourable opinion of the implants.”

The Doctor shrugged. “They've done little to improve the lives of Cybermen or Daleks I've met.”

“And yet if you'd had the benefit of such implants you may have saved the life of the girl.”

The Doctor blinked. “Well, at the risk of bragging . . . I did save the life of that girl.”

“I'm afraid she died minutes after we left,” said the inspector in a tone tempered with some sympathy.

“She did? How do you know this?”

“Based on the severity of her injuries, her environment, and access to follow up treatment, she has only a six percent chance of having lived thirty minutes after we left.” The inspector pushed the black wheel forward and they began to descend to an area between two rows of evenly spaced blue lights. “I'm sorry, Doctor.”

“Did your algorithm factor in a sonic screwdriver?” the Doctor asked dryly. “Do you not think there are some things beyond the scope of your algorithm?”

Inspector Marwat groaned like an embarrassed teenager. “Oh, give it up. You may as well. Our interrogators are brilliant and you will confess to the implant poisoning.”

“Implant poisoning? Is that what you think Brenda was up to?”

The inspector didn't answer. The craft shook and came to a stop. They'd landed. Emerging from the craft, Rob found himself in a large, shining steel cavern gleaming with clear white light. He marvelled at the distant ceiling arched above him, bigger than the inside of Saint Paul's or any building he'd ever been in. And he'd never seen so much metal interspersed with panels of smooth beige and grey material he had no names for. White, red, and yellow lights, big and small, infested the structure, each with clear meaning and direction. There were other crafts about so it must have been a dock of sorts. People, men and women of many colours, reminding him of Liverpool, moved equipment to and from crafts. All were dressed like Inspector Marwat, wearing the skeletal armour over plain suits covered with pockets. Some seemed to be talking to themselves. One or two stood still as statues, their faces flinching mysteriously now and then.

“This way,” said the Inspector, motioning them toward a door in the distant wall.

“What do you think, Rob?” said the Doctor, grinning at him.

“Think?” said Rob. “I can scarcely think! 'In-plants' you say? The 'external' is who she is? Would this not be God? Are you certain she's no Puritan?”

“I think you'll find she's a dyed in the wool libertine,” said the Doctor.

There was a terrific sound then. It was horrible, like a screaming infant but impossibly loud. And it was a single tone sustained and then cut off—sustained and then cut off. It was accompanied by flashing red light.

“It's the reactor!” said the inspector. She and dozens of other people started running to the right. Rob and the Doctor followed. Passing through small metal corridors they came to a room with glass walls where a white man in his forties sat on the floor, his hands clutching his thin brown hair.

“Jean!” cried the inspector, kneeling beside him.

“Go away!” screamed Jean. “Don't look at me! Or please—kill me!”

Outside the glass wall, a waterfall of glowing red water in which chunks of red stone fell rapidly was gushing through a burst open metal structure. Rob realised it had become very hot, hotter than summer in the Caribbean.

The Doctor ran to a nearby panel and started pressing buttons. She stopped and stared at Inspector Marwat and Jean who were hugging each other and rocking back and forth.

The Doctor looked at Rob. “Mr. Fenner, would you like a lesson in geothermal engineering? Do say yes. We may survive if you do!”

TO BE CONTINUED

Friday, June 05, 2020

Words in the Mind's Attic

There's another ominous trip to a psychiatrist office in the new Sirenia Digest. "UNTITLED PSYCHIATRIST #4", the new story from Caitlin R. Kiernan, brings us another subtly combative dialogue between a psychiatrist and her patient, the unnamed narrator. This time, the wonderfully eerie scene recalled by the patient is developed through a provoking play with language.

One of Caitlin's talents, and the best part of the Digest, is her ability to provide such a seemingly authentic transcription of human thought to a strange situation. As the patient's active mind compulsively plays with the psychiatrist's perception, deliberately withholding information about one foreign word's etymology, the modified or omitted detail becomes a poetic subtext. A strange encounter in an attic is described, a being with glowing blue eyes taking root in the reality of language and compulsion. A really nice story painted on a snapshot of the brain.

Life in a Land of Heat and Rain

I'm coming to the end of my first week working as an assistant language teacher at a Japanese junior high school. It's mainly been a very nice experience, the students are very sincere and well behaved, though it's a little difficult to tell them apart when they all wear masks and uniforms. Aside from the masks, the only sign of Corona virus is the new set of social distancing rules requiring no two students to sit beside each other, a little pointless considering there seems to be plenty of physical contact outside of the classroom. For a culture about which I've constantly been told physical contact is frowned upon, I see a lot more hugging than at American schools. This might be a new trend. Fortunately, Corona seems down to pretty low levels though there's been an increase in cases in Tokyo.

One of the teachers seemed to expect me to be missing America, based on the questions she was asking me. I told her I'm happy to be in a country where there are currently no riots and I went on to tell her that the riots in the U.S. seem to have pushed Corona off the front page in every major publication. I'm working in a rural area so most people don't seem to know anything about George Floyd or the riots. I generally have the impression that people here are more focused on here than on the world. There's more of a sense of a connexion to the town and community than I'm used to.

It sure is hot. I'm told the rainy season is off to a late start which has been a worry for the farmers. Supposedly constant rain will begin next week--it will be rainy and hot. I wish I had more summer clothes.

Wednesday, June 03, 2020

From the Depths of a Glitzy Hell

Did you know there's a movie where Sammy Davis Jr. plays a demon working for Christopher Lee as Satan to help Jack Klugman get revenge on Adam West? 1973's Poor Devil is a TV movie, in fact a backdoor pilot for a show that never happened, filled with awkward, corny jokes. But with such a cast it can hardly be a full miss and it starts to gain a real pulse when the relationship between Sammy Davis Jr. and Jack Klugman has time to develop.

The film opens in Hell where Sammy (Sammy Davis Jr.) works shovelling coal, hoping one day for a sweet promotion as a reward for shepherding another soul into Satan's (Christopher Lee) arms. Although it's great watching Davis Jr. and Lee perform together, the scenes in Hell are generally the weakest part of the film. One wishes the writers had just a slightly stronger grasp of the theology when Satan reminisces on how he first tried to tempt Adam with various other fruits before finally succeeding with the apple. As though God had forbidden Adam to eat any fruit of any kind.

But Sammy finds a kindred spirit in a mortal man named Bernie (Klugman), who's also bitter about not getting a promotion at the department store where he works. His boss is played by Adam West as such an over-the-top sleeze that he's one of the film's high points all by himself.

Bernie finally sells his soul to Sammy but the contract is void if Sammy can't fulfil Bernie's wishes. Bernie decides he wants his store to be looted of its entire inventory to ruin his boss. After putting together an extremely weird and nonsensical plot involving helicopters and Blackbeard the pirate, Sammy rounds up all the local burglars and has it done--only for Bernie to have a change of heart when he realises looting the store will endanger the livelihoods of the store's employees. A valuable lesson, that.

The chemistry between Sammy and Bernie fights its way through the cheesy dialogue to be genuinely sweet, almost a George Bailey and Clarence relationship.

Poor Devil is available on Amazon Prime.

Twitter Sonnet #1360

A secret politician teaches space.
Constructed lunch reflects the growing box.
A knowing grid creates the open face.
The legs dissolved in weirdly fattened socks.
A pointed flower's cash for lizard men.
To stop the water, earth absorbed the rain.
A swirling light became a glowing win.
The wings were curled beneath the feathered vein.
The scrambled cards attract the swiftest hand.
The drowning clock extends a rusty spring.
A beach deserts its ev'ry grain of sand.
Machines were judged on apps for going "ping".
The agents changed the story's sun to moon.
Entire worlds reside upon the spoon.

Liars, Nukes, and Money

It's time for Crichton to put his boots right on the Scarran dinner table as Farscape adds a new wrinkle to its cold war plot. Now Crichton wants to get paid. Or so he says.

Season Four, Episode Twenty: We're So Screwed, Part II: Hot to Katratzi

Why not "We're So Frelled"? It could be my imagination but it seems like there's less of the alien slang at this point in the series, which is a bit disappointing. A more noticeable disappointment is Aeryn (Claudia Black) being completely recovered from her incarceration and torture.

The little waltz she and Crichton (Ben Browder) have on an elevator is sweet but I kept thinking--this woman just had four giant spikes in her pregnant belly. Surely that should have some kind of lingering impact, if not physical at least psychological. Okay, you could say Aeryn just happens to be really strong. But one of the great things about the show is how the lasting effects of severe trauma manifest in Crichton's personality. Why pass up a similar opportunity for storytelling with Aeryn? Remember how great Claudia Black was in "Choices" in season three, when Aeryn was dealing with the trauma of losing the other Crichton?

Sure, "Hot to Katratzi" is fun. It is fun watching Crichton play chicken with a nuclear bomb. The Scarran puppetry and makeup effects are fantastic, too. And I do like the return of Stark (Paul Goddard), torturing Scorpius (Wayne Pygram), and I found Scorpius being a frustrating masochist about it even more amusing. But mostly these episodes feel like just an echo of the great "Liars, Guns, and Money" three parter.

. . .

Farscape is available now on Amazon Prime.

This entry is part of a series I'm writing on Farscape for the show's 20th anniversary. My previous reviews can be found here (episodes are in the order intended by the show's creators rather than the broadcast order):

Season One:

Episode 1: Pilot
Episode 2: I, E.T.
Episode 3: Exodus from Genesis
Episode 4: Throne for a Loss
Episode 5: Back and Back and Back to the Future
Episode 6: Thank God It's Friday Again
Episode 7: PK Tech Girl
Episode 8: That Old Black Magic
Episode 9: DNA Mad Scientist
Episode 10: They've Got a Secret
Episode 11: Till the Blood Runs Clear
Episode 12: Rhapsody in Blue
Episode 13: The Flax
Episode 14: Jeremiah Crichton
Episode 15: Durka Returns
Episode 16: A Human Reaction
Episode 17: Through the Looking Glass
Episode 18: A Bug's Life
Episode 19: Nerve
Episode 20: The Hidden Memory
Episode 21: Bone to be Wild
Episode 22: Family Ties

Season Two:

Episode 1: Mind the Baby
Episode 2: Vitas Mortis
Episode 3: Taking the Stone
Episode 4: Crackers Don't Matter
Episode 5: Picture If You Will
Episode 6: The Way We Weren't
Episode 7: Home on the Remains
Episode 8: Dream a Little Dream
Episode 9: Out of Their Minds
Episode 10: My Three Crichtons
Episode 11: Look at the Princess, Part I: A Kiss is But a Kiss
Episode 12: Look at the Princess, Part II: I Do, I Think
Episode 13: Look at the Princess, Part III: The Maltese Crichton
Episode 14: Beware of Dog
Episode 15: Won't Get Fooled Again
Episode 16: The Locket
Episode 17: The Ugly Truth
Episode 18: A Clockwork Nebari
Episode 19: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part I: A Not So Simple Plan
Episode 20: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part II: With Friends Like These . . .
Episode 21: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part III: Plan B
Episode 22: Die Me, Dichotomy

Season Three:

Episode 1: Season of Death
Episode 2: Suns and Lovers
Episode 3: Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part I: Would'a, Could'a, Should'a
Episode 4: Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part II: Wait for the Wheel
Episode 5: . . . Different Destinations
Episode 6: Eat Me
Episode 7: Thanks for Sharing
Episode 8: Green Eyed Monster
Episode 9: Losing Time
Episode 10: Relativity
Episode 11: Incubator
Episode 12: Meltdown
Episode 13: Scratch 'n Sniff
Episode 14: Infinite Possibilities, Part I: Daedalus Demands
Episode 15: Infinite Possibilities, Part II: Icarus Abides
Episode 16: Revenging Angel
Episode 17: The Choice
Episode 18: Fractures
Episode 19: I-Yensch, You-Yensch
Episode 20: Into the Lion's Den, Part I: Lambs to the Slaughter
Episode 21: Into the Lion's Den, Part II: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Episode 22: A Dog with Two Bones

Season Four

Episode 1: Crichton Kicks
Episode 2: What was Lost, Part I: Sacrifice
Episode 3: What was Lost, Part II: Resurrection
Episode 4: Lava's a Many Splendoured Thing
Episode 5: Promises
Episode 6: Natural Election
Episode 7: John Quixote
Episode 8: I Shrink Therefore I Am
Episode 9: A Prefect Murder
Episode 10: Coup by Clam
Episode 11: Unrealised Reality
Episode 12: Kansas
Episode 13: Terra Firma
Episode 14: Twice Shy
Episode 15: Mental as Anything
Episode 16: Bringing Home the Beacon
Episode 17: A Constellation of Doubt
Episode 18: Prayer
Episode 19: We're So Screwed: Fetal Attraction

Tuesday, June 02, 2020

The Wrong Way

Lately I've found myself watching interviews and lectures by the late Roger Scruton available on YouTube. As I've started seeing reports of the widespread riots in the U.S., I've been constantly reminded of a story Scruton told multiple times about the moment he became a conservative, when witnessing the riots in Paris, instigated by Communists and Socialists, in 1968.

"The thing that most struck me about those students in the street was the sentimentality of their anger. It was all about themselves. It wasn't about anything objective. Here they were the spoiled middle class baby boomers who never had any real difficulty to cope with, shouting their heads off in the streets, burning the cars belonging to ordinary proletarians whom those [students] pretended to be defending against some imaginary repressive structures erected by the bourgeoisie--the whole thing was a complete fiction based on the antiquated ideas of Karl Marx, ideas which were already redundant in the mid-19th century. They were acting out a self scripted drama in which the central character was themselves."

I've had a similar growing feeling since the election of Donald Trump. I didn't vote for Trump, I thought he was incompetent, and I plan on voting for Joe Biden. But almost immediately after Trump's election, reactions against him have felt oddly disconnected. As though Trump was the figurehead of an enemy in a war that had absolutely no substance for me. Which would be bad enough if I liked Trump but seems even worse because I don't like him. The oddly mechanical feeling of new young voices suddenly injected in news media, the stark bifurcation of reality between news media of different political stripes, the persistent recasting of heterosexual male libido as perverse. When I became concerned about lockdowns harming the economy, I immediately felt concern for my former coworkers at JCPenney who found themselves furloughed, sent home without pay. I can understand the belief that quarantining is more important than the economy but rhetoric from the left typically hadn't even a shred of sympathy for that proletariat the left is classically supposed to advocate.

And now, somehow, we're to believe that the horrific, the absolutely despicable murder of George Floyd calls for businesses across the country to be destroyed and looted, for Nashville's City Hall to be burned.

Again and again, I'm glad to be in Japan partly because there are so many things here I used to love about the U.S. Early on, I walked down a street with a coworker and I pointed out to her all the small business along the street we were walking down. There are so many little restaurants here, each distinctive with its own personality. I remember when San Diego was like that, before one by one nearly every place with any shred of individual personality was strangled to death by oppressive rents. And now this. I don't know what else to say because I know the kind of Fred Madison madness I'm talking to can't see or hear the other side. There are no eyes to see or ears to hear any appeal I can make. All I can do is hope.

Monday, June 01, 2020

The Right Square for Circular Eyes

Last week, The Simpsons on Disney+ finally became worth watching. The first seasons, the good ones, were finally made available in their original 4:3 aspect ratio, as they obviously should have been in the first place. It's not on the level of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's infamous "remaster" (Amazon Prime, thankfully, only streams the series in SD) but enough of the screen was cropped out to make it a worthless inclusion on the service. But now all's well that ends well so I picked up where I left off in my last rewatch I began four or five years ago, near the end of season three, with the episode "Bart's Friend Falls in Love".

Now this is an improvement from watching someone's ripped VHS copy, that's for sure.

Said friend of Bart (Nancy Cartwright) is of course Milhouse (Pamela Hayden) who falls for a new girl with braces after viewing a sex ed tape starring a young, 1970s era Troy McClure (Phil Hartman).

Already there's more in this episode than Disney could hope to clean up with a cgi furry butt, right from the beginning with a classic Raiders of the Lost Ark parody featuring Homer (Dan Castellaneta) in his underwear, his unintelligible screams meant to mimic the speech of the Hovitos.

Yes, it's too bad. Perhaps we could warn Disney. If only they spoke Hovitos.

The best part of the episode is actually a subplot in which Homer expands his vocabulary via a subliminal messages tape delivered to him instead of one for weight loss. The next day he starts talking about his "gastronomic rapacity".

The funniest part, though, is when he stops using the tape and forgets "spoon".

"Where's that . . . metal dealie. You know to dig. Food."

Milhouse's girlfriend is voiced by Kimmy Robertson, best known as Lucy from Twin Peaks. It took me a minute to realise it. At first I just thought, "Where have I heard that voice before? Like, in something I've watched so many millions of times in the past thirty years it's etched on my subconscious?" Though as Homer said when Lisa (Yeardley Smith) first brings up the power of subliminal conditioning, "that's a load of rich creamery butter."

Robertson is pretty good as a cartoon child character--she has that kind of voice that doesn't sound like a real child but like a sharper, funnier version. She could have a good career as a voice actress in such roles.

Twitter Sonnet #1359

A folded leg suggests the standing bug.
A sea of hats forestalled the rising mob.
The answer given now's a timely hug.
The thread to shirts was like the corn to cob.
The cloud of cotton's dyed with purple blood.
Impending rubble speaks of building death.
Some muscle sprouts escape the cakey mud.
The sign of air's implied with ev'ry breath.
A kind of answer turned in laundry swoop.
Consensus clicked throughout the squirrel's tree.
Retreating thinkers claim the chicken coop.
Potential hives evade the single bee.
The colour picture snapped a grey response.
The angle clicked like famous housely haunts.