Saturday, June 13, 2020

The Journey from Wood to Man

"When you wish upon a star . . . Anything your heart desires will come to you." That's what the famous song says in 1940's Pinocchio and yet its a film with a consistent message about how the easy route is never the right route to what you want. It's an incredibly complex, strange, funny, and beautiful film. Snow White is a great achievement in animation but Pinocchio is really Disney's first great film.

Based on a darker 1883 story by Carlo Collodi, the Disney film is a sterling example of the Disney attitude and aesthetic perfectly suiting a subject for adaptation. The less human a character looks, the easier time the animators had working with him. The dwarfs in Snow White are much more developed than Snow White herself and Sleeping Beauty is really a movie about the fairy godmothers, not Aurora. The princess is an archetype, though, so it works on that level. Pinocchio is an everyman, or everyboy--even more than that, or less, he's a blank slate. But he's little, he has a big head and big eyes. He's expressive, he's all emotion, not a lot of brains.

Which is where Jiminy Cricket comes in, of course. He's there to help finish the job started by Geppetto, with his wish, and the Blue Fairy, with her magic. But ultimately its up to Pinocchio himself to determine whether he has what it takes to be a real boy or if he's going to just be a real jackass.

Speaking of movies that may not align with current moral standards, it's a testament to the film's position in the Disney canon that nothing in it has been cgied out on Disney+. Not Pinocchio smoking a big fat cigar, not Geppetto's wonderfully naughty cuckoo clocks.

And it works marvellously well because of it; it feels honest.

So many people have analysed and discussed this film and the Pinocchio story in general. Maybe you're one of the more than a million people who's watched Jordan Peterson's nice lecture on YouTube. It's amazing so many people apparently stuck around for more than two hours for a university lecture--albeit a particularly good one. I saw video where Noam Chomsky was asked about Jordan Peterson. Chomsky laughed derisively and claimed never to have watched one of Peterson's videos, instead referring to an article he'd read about Peterson which he felt said everything needed to be said about Peterson. The article, called "The Intellectual We Deserve", basically asserts that Peterson is overrated but suited to an "impoverished political and intellectual landscape". Spoken like someone who doesn't like kids.

Many of Peterson's fans consider him a modern day philosopher on the level of Nietzsche or Kant. That's definitely going too far. But what Peterson is--or was, if the mysterious ailment that has silenced him is permanent--is a very good lecturer. A good lecturer who's successfully transferred his intelligence and talent to a popular medium at a time when students find university lectures thin on substance, dominated by the shallow and yet bottomless well of deconstructionism. Here's a guy who can actually talk about Freud and Jung and Dostoevsky, offer his interpretation of their ideas, and apply them to a subject in a way that captures the imaginations of students who are being exposed to these things for the first time.

He draws people's attention to the fact that the film's message is still very good and very relevant, all too relevant in a world where the myriad forms of instant gratification on the internet can turn people into helpless jackasses. I love that part of the Pleasure Island story--when the kids are turned into donkeys for slave labour. Of course, if you pursue only idle pleasure, you're not going to cultivate the willpower to assert yourself when you need to.

The film is filled with potent, dreamlike scenarios. I love how the whale, Monstro, is put together in the film. There's not one thing about him reflective of actual physics or anatomy, from his habit of sleeping on the sea floor like a big sack of goo, to his hollowed out interior. Somehow being swallowed by him puts you in a spot where you can see his spine.

I hadn't watched the film since I was a kid so it was wonderfully refreshing when I watched it last week. Pinocchio is available on Disney+--for now.

Twitter Sonnet #1363

Another cup of tea invites the nose.
Deceptive watches click beside the breast.
The shadows strike a strangely normal pose.
Decisions number hearts among the best.
A paper wall detains a shadow passing through.
The lantern tricks deliver dreams to night.
The solemn gang has endless things to do.
Projected noise creates a sonic fight.
Tomatoes grow again beneath the cloud.
The endless muddy pond contains the seeds.
The dot of health would make the lettuce proud.
Another pod was filled with hungry beads.
Insistent rice has filmed the grainy shot.
From crimson choice, the bev'rage can was hot.

Friday, June 12, 2020

Then It's the Bomb That will Bring Us Together

Flowers are deadly serious business on Farscape, especially when there's a nuclear bomb involved.

Season Four, Episode Twenty One: We're So Screwed, Part III: La Bomba

Negotiations inevitably fall apart once again and our heroes are forced to improvise complicated plans as they go along. Things really go south when the sensor Crichton (Ben Browder) rigged for his nuke belt stops working, taking all his leverage with it.

Both he and Aeryn (Claudia Black) seem strangely withdrawn in this episode. I suspect this was intentional, maybe a comment on the inevitable emotional fatigue that may occur after years and years of torture and harrowing escapes. Still, especially in Claudia Black's case, I can't help just feeling like the actors are checked out. I wonder if it was related to any offscreen drama.

Everyone else seems very alive--Chiana (Gigi Edgeley), D'Argo (Anthony Simcoe), and Rygel (Jonathan Hardy) are all as crazy and/or irascible as ever. But their parts are small--most of the episode's actual drama involves the power plays among Scarrans and Peacekeepers.

The Scarrans are certainly a wonder to behold. The Emperor (Duncan Young) actually navigating between benevolence and threats when dealing with Crichton comes off as genuinely smart. The rivalry between Ahkna (Francesca Buller) and Janek (Jason Clark) is amusing.

And, meanwhile, Braca (David Franklin) relieves Grayza (Rebecca Riggs) of duty, citing her mental instability and not her dress code. I do miss the time when a character on a tv show could show that much cleavage for no particular reason.

Really, though, it's a fair cop; Grayza was going to force the whole crew to join her in a suicide mission.

We also learn a little more about Sikozu (Raelee Hill) in this episode and her involvement with a strange resistance group. It's too bad this is only one episode away from the end of the series--I would have liked to have seen her relationship with Scorpius (Wayne Pygram) play out properly.

The Stark (Paul Goddard) who tortured Scorpius is revealed in this episode to in fact be a bioloid. Noranti (Melissa Jaffer) and Rygel (Jonathan Hardy) rescue the real Stark. I don't quite see why the real Stark couldn't have tortured Scorpius.

All in all, a good episode but, again, not quite reaching the highs of pre-season four episodes.

. . .

Farscape is available now on Amazon Prime.

This entry is part of a series I'm writing on Farscape for the show's 20th anniversary. My previous reviews can be found here (episodes are in the order intended by the show's creators rather than the broadcast order):

Season One:

Episode 1: Pilot
Episode 2: I, E.T.
Episode 3: Exodus from Genesis
Episode 4: Throne for a Loss
Episode 5: Back and Back and Back to the Future
Episode 6: Thank God It's Friday Again
Episode 7: PK Tech Girl
Episode 8: That Old Black Magic
Episode 9: DNA Mad Scientist
Episode 10: They've Got a Secret
Episode 11: Till the Blood Runs Clear
Episode 12: Rhapsody in Blue
Episode 13: The Flax
Episode 14: Jeremiah Crichton
Episode 15: Durka Returns
Episode 16: A Human Reaction
Episode 17: Through the Looking Glass
Episode 18: A Bug's Life
Episode 19: Nerve
Episode 20: The Hidden Memory
Episode 21: Bone to be Wild
Episode 22: Family Ties

Season Two:

Episode 1: Mind the Baby
Episode 2: Vitas Mortis
Episode 3: Taking the Stone
Episode 4: Crackers Don't Matter
Episode 5: Picture If You Will
Episode 6: The Way We Weren't
Episode 7: Home on the Remains
Episode 8: Dream a Little Dream
Episode 9: Out of Their Minds
Episode 10: My Three Crichtons
Episode 11: Look at the Princess, Part I: A Kiss is But a Kiss
Episode 12: Look at the Princess, Part II: I Do, I Think
Episode 13: Look at the Princess, Part III: The Maltese Crichton
Episode 14: Beware of Dog
Episode 15: Won't Get Fooled Again
Episode 16: The Locket
Episode 17: The Ugly Truth
Episode 18: A Clockwork Nebari
Episode 19: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part I: A Not So Simple Plan
Episode 20: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part II: With Friends Like These . . .
Episode 21: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part III: Plan B
Episode 22: Die Me, Dichotomy

Season Three:

Episode 1: Season of Death
Episode 2: Suns and Lovers
Episode 3: Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part I: Would'a, Could'a, Should'a
Episode 4: Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part II: Wait for the Wheel
Episode 5: . . . Different Destinations
Episode 6: Eat Me
Episode 7: Thanks for Sharing
Episode 8: Green Eyed Monster
Episode 9: Losing Time
Episode 10: Relativity
Episode 11: Incubator
Episode 12: Meltdown
Episode 13: Scratch 'n Sniff
Episode 14: Infinite Possibilities, Part I: Daedalus Demands
Episode 15: Infinite Possibilities, Part II: Icarus Abides
Episode 16: Revenging Angel
Episode 17: The Choice
Episode 18: Fractures
Episode 19: I-Yensch, You-Yensch
Episode 20: Into the Lion's Den, Part I: Lambs to the Slaughter
Episode 21: Into the Lion's Den, Part II: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Episode 22: A Dog with Two Bones

Season Four

Episode 1: Crichton Kicks
Episode 2: What was Lost, Part I: Sacrifice
Episode 3: What was Lost, Part II: Resurrection
Episode 4: Lava's a Many Splendoured Thing
Episode 5: Promises
Episode 6: Natural Election
Episode 7: John Quixote
Episode 8: I Shrink Therefore I Am
Episode 9: A Prefect Murder
Episode 10: Coup by Clam
Episode 11: Unrealised Reality
Episode 12: Kansas
Episode 13: Terra Firma
Episode 14: Twice Shy
Episode 15: Mental as Anything
Episode 16: Bringing Home the Beacon
Episode 17: A Constellation of Doubt
Episode 18: Prayer
Episode 19: We're So Screwed: Fetal Attraction
Episode 20: We're So Screwed, Part II: Hot to Katratzi

Thursday, June 11, 2020

The Cops

From here in Japan, I continue to see news of the U.S. transforming strangely and drastically. Now it seems there calls for disbanding the police. In fact, Minneapolis has already pledged to disband its police department. Considering how quickly they punished the killers of George Floyd, I suppose it's not surprising they'd have the willpower for that.

But what would it mean not to have a police department? To some extent, we already know. A standing police force in the western world isn't that new. London's first police force is widely considered to be the Bow Street Runners, established by the author and magistrate Henry Fielding, the same man who wrote Tom Jones. You can look to one of his contemporaries, Daniel Defoe, and his book Moll Flanders to see how street crime was dealt with before police. A scene where the title character, Moll, attempts to steal something is interrupted when she's spotted. What follows is essentially a citizen's arrest where witnesses are empowered to drag the accused to a constable or magistrate. Do you suppose Antifa would accept the judgement of such magistrates?

Often what would happen is something that you might have caught a glimpse of in the 2017 Doctor Who episode "Thin Ice" where the Doctor and his companion, Bill, are detained by a group of thugs under hire for a wealthy gentleman.

In other words, the inevitable consequence of removing a public government service is the increase of a private enterprise to fill the void. Is this a good idea? Should only victims of sexual assault, for example, who can afford resourceful private detectives and bounty hunters be allowed to see their assailants brought to justice?You may quote statistics for how rarely perpetrators of sexual assault are brought to justice in the current system. But the alternative would seem to be a world that benefits only the very wealthiest of victims.

I heard even the TV show Cops has been cancelled after thirty years on the air. Why? If it shows cops doing bad things, surely that would be a useful check on the institution. If it shows them doing good things, why is that bad? I suppose it would be a troublesome complication in a clear message.

Twitter Sonnet #1362

Translucent sprites conduct the cursor home.
The game controllers fell from slackened grips.
Suspense retires late on beds of foam.
The perfect tea was brewed from leafy tips.
Examples stitched in wood redeem the moon.
Remembered times create the golden watch.
Excessive wings support the silver loon.
The spinning train exists around the blotch.
The copy car relays along the beach.
A timer told the house about the tea.
A brush for teeth resides beyond your reach.
Eclipses hid the silent totem bee.
The noodles wait beyond the dinner plate.
The leaves would whisper near the garden gate.

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

The Universal Appeal of One Cowboy

I've been teaching at a Japanese junior high school about a week and a half now. It's been a pleasure, the kids are great, and one thing they all seem to agree on is Toy Story. So many have told me that Toy Story 3 is better than Toy Story 2 and they sure are right. So far I've heard no verdict on the fourth film.

It's a little ironic because, watching 2 and 3 over the past couple nights, I was struck by what an anachronistic, old fashioned American hero is Woody (Tom Hanks).

I guess the premise that he's a toy is just enough of a spin that a sincere, sweet, straightforward cowboy is acceptable as a lead. Not that kids, even Japanese kids, would have any bias against cowboys but they're not film producers.

Toy Story 2 is a good film and its story of Woody struggling with his loyalty to Andy and finding a new, more permanent home among his complete cowboy set is pretty good. Though the underlying reason behind his quandary, that he knows Andy will outgrow him one day, is what makes the third film so much more interesting since it explores exactly that topic directly.

The separation of 11 years also makes for a quantum leap in computer animation, too, which certainly helps. How much more effective it is when the state of the art texturing and expertly crafted human gestures turns an unruly mob of toddlers into something that really looks like it could obliterate a hapless toy collection. And then there's also the introduction of several effective characters, particularly Lotso (Ned Beatty) and Ken (Michael Keaton).

What might have otherwise been a throwaway, over the top, overdone parody of Barbie's Ken gets surprising nuance entirely due to Michael Keaton's performance. So his sudden passion for Barbie is genuinely funny and his shifting loyalties are surprisingly believable.

The Toy Story films are available on Disney+.

Tuesday, June 09, 2020

All About Anne Baxter

What goes around comes around on Columbo, sort of. The 1973 episode, "Requiem for a Fallen Star", features Anne Baxter as the famous movie siren in decline, essentially the opposite of the rising young star she played in All About Eve. It's a fun episode, even if Baxter is a bit of a ham in it. Peter Falk still manages to squeeze some genuine sweetness from the story as the fan who truly didn't want to believe one of his favourite stars could be a murderer.

Just like her character in All About Eve, Baxter's involved with the cynical, razor wit movie critic, though in this case he's played by Mel Ferrer instead of George Sanders. Ferrer's neither as witty nor as charming as Sanders, though. Sanders, even when he was playing a complete bastard, had a subtle undercurrent of melancholy warmth to him. Mel's okay but he's no Jose or Miguel.

We could still think of this episode as secretly featuring Baxter in the same role she played in the great movie with Bette Davis, though. It's easy to assume she'd end up in a poisonous relationship with another critic twenty years down the line.

It's another episode with a great cast sauntering about mansions and cafes before the dishevelled detective shuffles in and spoils it all. Also featured are Kevin McCarthy and All About Eve costume designer Edith Head.

Columbo is available on Amazon Prime.

Sunday, June 07, 2020

Fighting Crime is Foxy's Scene

Her man was brought down by the illegal drugs industry he worked to destroy. Now she's getting revenge in 1974's Foxy Brown. This sort of sequel to Coffy is a smoother, more focused ride from the same director, Jack Hill, and featuring the same star, the inimitable Pam Grier.

Foxy's boyfriend, a Federal Agent, is recuperating from facial reconstruction surgery in secret. Meanwhile, her brother, Link (Antonio Fargas), is in trouble again, mixed up with drug pushers and once again trying to get ahead in the trade himself.

He pleads with Foxy to understand--he has ambition but as a black man who can't play professional sports his options are limited. She's not impressed and tells him to get his act together. So he fingers her boyfriend for a gang headed by the ruthless Katherine Wall (Kathryn Loder) who wears what appears to be the mechanical owl from Clash of the Titans on her neck.

It's an exploitation film and it delivers on sex and violence admirably. Grier comes off as more confident in the action sequences than she did in Coffy and her schemes to seduce and kill are a little more satisfying. Once again, Sid Haig plays a minor character--a different one from the first film.

He really seems like he's having a good time, his ability to convey genuine mirth outpacing most of the other actors in the film. But mostly this is Grier's movie and she carries it with aplomb.

Foxy Brown is available on Amazon Prime.

Twitter Sonnet #1361

On billiard greens the cues decide the paths.
In fruitful dreams detectives harvest sails.
Successive nights entail a string of baths.
The little gulp was deep and swam with whales.
The gathered grains pretend a plant arrived.
The movie prints absorbed a vapour cloud.
A whispered brain in spirits late contrived.
A rapid face collapsed beneath a shroud.
The middle door was green and hid a coat.
The flashing screen proceeds to grant a bill.
Discussions ranged on what to call a boat.
Remembered woods conceal the travelled meal.
Converted boxes took the form of bowls.
Reverted foxes eke the life of gnolls.

Saturday, June 06, 2020

The Doctor is a Doctor

Happy Sunday, everyone. Here's the latest chapter in my Doctor Who fan fiction. (Part I can be found here and Part II can be found here).

DOCTOR WHO

"The New Model Tomb"

by Setsuled

Part III

The Doctor grinned, looking ahead. “Brenda was a suspect. And now, she knows Brenda has an alibi for February Fifth.”

“Ah . . .” said Rob slowly, glancing back at the taciturn inspector. “And so she's come with us now . . .”

“Because we likely look like prime suspects ourselves,” finished the Doctor.

Rob didn't know what to think of this. Around him, the general ruin started to seem worse as they went along now. Strange black and twisted shapes emerged from the rubble in various places, some of it his mind could resolve into familiar pieces of structural supports for buildings but much of it was unrecognisable, something he found increasingly disturbing. Shattered shapes with complex parts clearly once had functions he couldn't imagine. Smooth pieces of clear glass were piled like dust in charred boxes. Thick, tangled black lines drooped from overhead like willow branches. Now and then, the Doctor put a restraining hand on his arm, warning him not to trod on this or that piece of wreckage.

“It looks like this city was attacked,” the Doctor remarked. “Six years ago?”

“Seven,” said Billy, the redhead. “Where have you travelled from?”

“Who attacked you?” asked the Doctor.

“Why don't you ask Miss E-Yun?” said Tom without turning around. The Doctor, with raised eyebrows, turned to Inspector Marwat. The inspector only glanced at the Doctor and trudged on.

“Did the Aeons assault the city?” asked the Doctor.

“That's what the Wanters would have you believe,” the Inspector said flatly.

“And what would you have me believe?” prompted the Doctor.

The inspector said nothing. She only gave the Doctor a look that was half fear and half disgust.

A glowing green and white beam, bigger than a yard on a man-o-war, now jutted out at a slight angle as they rounded a pale grey hill of rubbish. It illuminated so much of the area it made Rob suddenly realise how dark it had gotten.

This beam proved to be a sort of trim on a rooftop of a building half buried. A doorway was uncovered except by remnants of a ragged, iridescent curtain. The Doctor, Rob, and the inspector followed Tom into an interior dimly lit by two thin, white, glowing beams in the ceiling. Many similar beams throughout the room were grey and lifeless. On the dirty floor, on four bare mattresses, were four female shapes, one of them a woman, the other three were girls, fifteen or sixteen years old. Here was something all too familiar to Rob though he'd never seen it afflict women and girls: battle wounds. The woman was unconscious, a white bandage wrapped about her head and her arm was in a shiny metal splint. One of the girls, a sweet faced lass with straight, dirty blonde hair, was propped up on her elbow and Rob assumed one or both of her legs were injured where they lay hidden beneath a thick, clean, beige sheet. The Doctor swiftly knelt beside another of the girls at the far end. Reaching into an inside pocket of her coat, the Doctor produced a pair of black glasses and put them on. Rob held back, not wanting to be in the way. The girl had dark hair, matted against her flushed and sweaty forehead. He couldn't tell if she was conscious but there was a pained expression on her face. From the thin sound of her breath and shuddering chest, he guessed at least one of her ribs was broken.

The Doctor briskly pulled off her glasses and looked around. “Have you any Ondrigen epoxy?”

Billy looked at her with an uncomprehending expression. Tom scowled and folded his arms over his chest. Inspector Marwat watched everyone in turn, pieces of her armour making faint clicking sounds.

The Doctor sighed. “I've dealt with worse. Maybe all I need is my sonic screwdriver.” She produced a tool with a glowing blue tip. With her other hand, she gently stroked the girl's forehead.

“Can you save her?” asked the conscious girl in a shy, quiet voice. The Doctor gave her a tight smile and said, “I can try. What's her name?”

“Lisa.”

The Doctor leaned closer to Lisa's face. “Lisa, I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt.” She put the glasses back on and placed the glowing tip of the tool a few inches from Lisa's breast. She hesitated a moment. Then there was a soft, high pitched sound like a mouse sustaining a squeal. It was suddenly drowned out by a cry from the girl. The Doctor's hand tightened on her forehead and she moved the tool slowly up and down along the girl's chest. The girl's cries choked off and Rob expected blood now to burble out of her mouth. But it didn't.

The girl whimpered once and then relaxed. The Doctor continued slowly moving the device back and forth along her chest for what seemed like an hour. Rob found out later it had only been about ten minutes. Finally, the little mouse scream stopped and the Doctor let out a breath and smiled. She wiped Lisa's forehead and stood up. When the other girl, who'd waited patiently throughout the procedure, asked, “Will she be okay?” the Doctor grunted in affirmative, a most unladylike sound, Rob thought.

“Oh, thank you,” said the girl as the Doctor carefully removed her glasses and put them back in her coat, not looking at the four.

“And what were you doing, my girl, hmm?” the Doctor asked in a severe tone.

“They were drinking on the conveyor belt,” said Billy. “Over at Henchel's factory.”

“Oh?” said the Doctor. “And what does Henchel make?”

“Kitchen appliances,” said Tom. “Sells them to colonies on Hopsai and Enanes.”

“I see. And you don't sell to Aeons?”

Before Tom or Billy could reply, Inspector Marwat stepped forward, “Doctor, I'm going to have to ask you and your friend to come with me.”

“I thought you'd never ask,” the Doctor grinned.

As she and Rob followed the inspector out, Tom said, “Thank you, Doctor.” Not very loudly, as though he'd almost prefer the Doctor didn't hear.

So the Doctor almost shouted, “You're quite welcome!” in reply then stopped at the doorway and pointed at the girls. “And you—stay out of trouble, eh?”

“Am I right in thinking,” said Rob once they were outside, “you mended the lass's broken rib?”

“Hmm, three broken ribs,” said the Doctor, pushing aside a large metal panel.

“Amazing,” he said, remembering everything else he'd seen this woman do. “You're a genius!”

“Hmm, yes,” she said, running a hand through her blonde hair piled messily atop her head in wide curls.

“That's hardly remarkable,” said Inspector Marwat irritably from behind them. The Doctor and Rob stopped as the inspector made her way around them. “All Aeons are geniuses.”

“Really?” said the Doctor slowly, her eyes wide. Just then, the air began to swirl about them and the Inspector's craft descended from the darkness above. It landed and brilliant white light poured from its side hatch.

“Inside, now!” shouted the inspector, vigorously swiping the air with her arm to motion them in.

Rob ducked inside behind the Doctor and soon found himself on smooth leather upholstery, inside the weirdly smooth interior, the most comfortable seat he'd had in his life. “Don't you want my hanger, Constable?” he asked.

“Your what?” said the inspector, scooting into a small space at the front of the craft and gripping a small black wheel.

“His sword,” said the Doctor.

“Oh, you're no threat to me,” said the inspector.

The Doctor and Rob both raised their eyebrows, exchanging looks.

Then came the peculiar sensation as the craft lifted off the ground. It was night outside and due to the bright interior illumination all Rob could see of the world were the few tiny pinpricks of light that suddenly fell away. It was amazing but his stomach had been fortified by a ride in the TARDIS. So he kept his wits and his breakfast.

“How do you mean, all Aeons are geniuses?” asked the Doctor.

“We've evolved, that's all,” said the inspector.

“And the Wanters haven't, I take it?”

“They could, if they were willing,” said the inspector with undisguised repulsion. “It's an endless mystery. Why do the poor consistently make the worst decisions for themselves?”

“You Aeons have better schooling, then?” put in Rob.

“You might say that,” said the inspector with a smirk.

“Or you might say you have cybernetic enhancements,” said the Doctor, pointing at the wiry helmet on the other woman's head.

“Is that a magic helmet?” asked Rob.

“There's no such thing,” said the Doctor. “It's science. Her helmet connects an external, intricate cloud of electronic information seamlessly to her consciousness.”

“It's not external,” said Inspector Marwat, angry with a surprising suddenness. “It's who we are. We are in the cloud and the cloud is in us!”

“Except there's been a problem lately, hasn't there?” said the Doctor, leaning forward with a smile that was both weary and eager.

“How did you know that?” demanded Inspector Marwat.

“Oh,” the Doctor waved her hand, “an educated guess.”

“Or you have something to do with it.”

The Doctor's tone turned deadly serious, “I promise you I don't.”

The inspector flicked some switches on the panel before her. “You certainly don't seem to have a favourable opinion of the implants.”

The Doctor shrugged. “They've done little to improve the lives of Cybermen or Daleks I've met.”

“And yet if you'd had the benefit of such implants you may have saved the life of the girl.”

The Doctor blinked. “Well, at the risk of bragging . . . I did save the life of that girl.”

“I'm afraid she died minutes after we left,” said the inspector in a tone tempered with some sympathy.

“She did? How do you know this?”

“Based on the severity of her injuries, her environment, and access to follow up treatment, she has only a six percent chance of having lived thirty minutes after we left.” The inspector pushed the black wheel forward and they began to descend to an area between two rows of evenly spaced blue lights. “I'm sorry, Doctor.”

“Did your algorithm factor in a sonic screwdriver?” the Doctor asked dryly. “Do you not think there are some things beyond the scope of your algorithm?”

Inspector Marwat groaned like an embarrassed teenager. “Oh, give it up. You may as well. Our interrogators are brilliant and you will confess to the implant poisoning.”

“Implant poisoning? Is that what you think Brenda was up to?”

The inspector didn't answer. The craft shook and came to a stop. They'd landed. Emerging from the craft, Rob found himself in a large, shining steel cavern gleaming with clear white light. He marvelled at the distant ceiling arched above him, bigger than the inside of Saint Paul's or any building he'd ever been in. And he'd never seen so much metal interspersed with panels of smooth beige and grey material he had no names for. White, red, and yellow lights, big and small, infested the structure, each with clear meaning and direction. There were other crafts about so it must have been a dock of sorts. People, men and women of many colours, reminding him of Liverpool, moved equipment to and from crafts. All were dressed like Inspector Marwat, wearing the skeletal armour over plain suits covered with pockets. Some seemed to be talking to themselves. One or two stood still as statues, their faces flinching mysteriously now and then.

“This way,” said the Inspector, motioning them toward a door in the distant wall.

“What do you think, Rob?” said the Doctor, grinning at him.

“Think?” said Rob. “I can scarcely think! 'In-plants' you say? The 'external' is who she is? Would this not be God? Are you certain she's no Puritan?”

“I think you'll find she's a dyed in the wool libertine,” said the Doctor.

There was a terrific sound then. It was horrible, like a screaming infant but impossibly loud. And it was a single tone sustained and then cut off—sustained and then cut off. It was accompanied by flashing red light.

“It's the reactor!” said the inspector. She and dozens of other people started running to the right. Rob and the Doctor followed. Passing through small metal corridors they came to a room with glass walls where a white man in his forties sat on the floor, his hands clutching his thin brown hair.

“Jean!” cried the inspector, kneeling beside him.

“Go away!” screamed Jean. “Don't look at me! Or please—kill me!”

Outside the glass wall, a waterfall of glowing red water in which chunks of red stone fell rapidly was gushing through a burst open metal structure. Rob realised it had become very hot, hotter than summer in the Caribbean.

The Doctor ran to a nearby panel and started pressing buttons. She stopped and stared at Inspector Marwat and Jean who were hugging each other and rocking back and forth.

The Doctor looked at Rob. “Mr. Fenner, would you like a lesson in geothermal engineering? Do say yes. We may survive if you do!”

TO BE CONTINUED

Friday, June 05, 2020

Words in the Mind's Attic

There's another ominous trip to a psychiatrist office in the new Sirenia Digest. "UNTITLED PSYCHIATRIST #4", the new story from Caitlin R. Kiernan, brings us another subtly combative dialogue between a psychiatrist and her patient, the unnamed narrator. This time, the wonderfully eerie scene recalled by the patient is developed through a provoking play with language.

One of Caitlin's talents, and the best part of the Digest, is her ability to provide such a seemingly authentic transcription of human thought to a strange situation. As the patient's active mind compulsively plays with the psychiatrist's perception, deliberately withholding information about one foreign word's etymology, the modified or omitted detail becomes a poetic subtext. A strange encounter in an attic is described, a being with glowing blue eyes taking root in the reality of language and compulsion. A really nice story painted on a snapshot of the brain.

Life in a Land of Heat and Rain

I'm coming to the end of my first week working as an assistant language teacher at a Japanese junior high school. It's mainly been a very nice experience, the students are very sincere and well behaved, though it's a little difficult to tell them apart when they all wear masks and uniforms. Aside from the masks, the only sign of Corona virus is the new set of social distancing rules requiring no two students to sit beside each other, a little pointless considering there seems to be plenty of physical contact outside of the classroom. For a culture about which I've constantly been told physical contact is frowned upon, I see a lot more hugging than at American schools. This might be a new trend. Fortunately, Corona seems down to pretty low levels though there's been an increase in cases in Tokyo.

One of the teachers seemed to expect me to be missing America, based on the questions she was asking me. I told her I'm happy to be in a country where there are currently no riots and I went on to tell her that the riots in the U.S. seem to have pushed Corona off the front page in every major publication. I'm working in a rural area so most people don't seem to know anything about George Floyd or the riots. I generally have the impression that people here are more focused on here than on the world. There's more of a sense of a connexion to the town and community than I'm used to.

It sure is hot. I'm told the rainy season is off to a late start which has been a worry for the farmers. Supposedly constant rain will begin next week--it will be rainy and hot. I wish I had more summer clothes.

Wednesday, June 03, 2020

From the Depths of a Glitzy Hell

Did you know there's a movie where Sammy Davis Jr. plays a demon working for Christopher Lee as Satan to help Jack Klugman get revenge on Adam West? 1973's Poor Devil is a TV movie, in fact a backdoor pilot for a show that never happened, filled with awkward, corny jokes. But with such a cast it can hardly be a full miss and it starts to gain a real pulse when the relationship between Sammy Davis Jr. and Jack Klugman has time to develop.

The film opens in Hell where Sammy (Sammy Davis Jr.) works shovelling coal, hoping one day for a sweet promotion as a reward for shepherding another soul into Satan's (Christopher Lee) arms. Although it's great watching Davis Jr. and Lee perform together, the scenes in Hell are generally the weakest part of the film. One wishes the writers had just a slightly stronger grasp of the theology when Satan reminisces on how he first tried to tempt Adam with various other fruits before finally succeeding with the apple. As though God had forbidden Adam to eat any fruit of any kind.

But Sammy finds a kindred spirit in a mortal man named Bernie (Klugman), who's also bitter about not getting a promotion at the department store where he works. His boss is played by Adam West as such an over-the-top sleeze that he's one of the film's high points all by himself.

Bernie finally sells his soul to Sammy but the contract is void if Sammy can't fulfil Bernie's wishes. Bernie decides he wants his store to be looted of its entire inventory to ruin his boss. After putting together an extremely weird and nonsensical plot involving helicopters and Blackbeard the pirate, Sammy rounds up all the local burglars and has it done--only for Bernie to have a change of heart when he realises looting the store will endanger the livelihoods of the store's employees. A valuable lesson, that.

The chemistry between Sammy and Bernie fights its way through the cheesy dialogue to be genuinely sweet, almost a George Bailey and Clarence relationship.

Poor Devil is available on Amazon Prime.

Twitter Sonnet #1360

A secret politician teaches space.
Constructed lunch reflects the growing box.
A knowing grid creates the open face.
The legs dissolved in weirdly fattened socks.
A pointed flower's cash for lizard men.
To stop the water, earth absorbed the rain.
A swirling light became a glowing win.
The wings were curled beneath the feathered vein.
The scrambled cards attract the swiftest hand.
The drowning clock extends a rusty spring.
A beach deserts its ev'ry grain of sand.
Machines were judged on apps for going "ping".
The agents changed the story's sun to moon.
Entire worlds reside upon the spoon.

Liars, Nukes, and Money

It's time for Crichton to put his boots right on the Scarran dinner table as Farscape adds a new wrinkle to its cold war plot. Now Crichton wants to get paid. Or so he says.

Season Four, Episode Twenty: We're So Screwed, Part II: Hot to Katratzi

Why not "We're So Frelled"? It could be my imagination but it seems like there's less of the alien slang at this point in the series, which is a bit disappointing. A more noticeable disappointment is Aeryn (Claudia Black) being completely recovered from her incarceration and torture.

The little waltz she and Crichton (Ben Browder) have on an elevator is sweet but I kept thinking--this woman just had four giant spikes in her pregnant belly. Surely that should have some kind of lingering impact, if not physical at least psychological. Okay, you could say Aeryn just happens to be really strong. But one of the great things about the show is how the lasting effects of severe trauma manifest in Crichton's personality. Why pass up a similar opportunity for storytelling with Aeryn? Remember how great Claudia Black was in "Choices" in season three, when Aeryn was dealing with the trauma of losing the other Crichton?

Sure, "Hot to Katratzi" is fun. It is fun watching Crichton play chicken with a nuclear bomb. The Scarran puppetry and makeup effects are fantastic, too. And I do like the return of Stark (Paul Goddard), torturing Scorpius (Wayne Pygram), and I found Scorpius being a frustrating masochist about it even more amusing. But mostly these episodes feel like just an echo of the great "Liars, Guns, and Money" three parter.

. . .

Farscape is available now on Amazon Prime.

This entry is part of a series I'm writing on Farscape for the show's 20th anniversary. My previous reviews can be found here (episodes are in the order intended by the show's creators rather than the broadcast order):

Season One:

Episode 1: Pilot
Episode 2: I, E.T.
Episode 3: Exodus from Genesis
Episode 4: Throne for a Loss
Episode 5: Back and Back and Back to the Future
Episode 6: Thank God It's Friday Again
Episode 7: PK Tech Girl
Episode 8: That Old Black Magic
Episode 9: DNA Mad Scientist
Episode 10: They've Got a Secret
Episode 11: Till the Blood Runs Clear
Episode 12: Rhapsody in Blue
Episode 13: The Flax
Episode 14: Jeremiah Crichton
Episode 15: Durka Returns
Episode 16: A Human Reaction
Episode 17: Through the Looking Glass
Episode 18: A Bug's Life
Episode 19: Nerve
Episode 20: The Hidden Memory
Episode 21: Bone to be Wild
Episode 22: Family Ties

Season Two:

Episode 1: Mind the Baby
Episode 2: Vitas Mortis
Episode 3: Taking the Stone
Episode 4: Crackers Don't Matter
Episode 5: Picture If You Will
Episode 6: The Way We Weren't
Episode 7: Home on the Remains
Episode 8: Dream a Little Dream
Episode 9: Out of Their Minds
Episode 10: My Three Crichtons
Episode 11: Look at the Princess, Part I: A Kiss is But a Kiss
Episode 12: Look at the Princess, Part II: I Do, I Think
Episode 13: Look at the Princess, Part III: The Maltese Crichton
Episode 14: Beware of Dog
Episode 15: Won't Get Fooled Again
Episode 16: The Locket
Episode 17: The Ugly Truth
Episode 18: A Clockwork Nebari
Episode 19: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part I: A Not So Simple Plan
Episode 20: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part II: With Friends Like These . . .
Episode 21: Liars, Guns, and Money, Part III: Plan B
Episode 22: Die Me, Dichotomy

Season Three:

Episode 1: Season of Death
Episode 2: Suns and Lovers
Episode 3: Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part I: Would'a, Could'a, Should'a
Episode 4: Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part II: Wait for the Wheel
Episode 5: . . . Different Destinations
Episode 6: Eat Me
Episode 7: Thanks for Sharing
Episode 8: Green Eyed Monster
Episode 9: Losing Time
Episode 10: Relativity
Episode 11: Incubator
Episode 12: Meltdown
Episode 13: Scratch 'n Sniff
Episode 14: Infinite Possibilities, Part I: Daedalus Demands
Episode 15: Infinite Possibilities, Part II: Icarus Abides
Episode 16: Revenging Angel
Episode 17: The Choice
Episode 18: Fractures
Episode 19: I-Yensch, You-Yensch
Episode 20: Into the Lion's Den, Part I: Lambs to the Slaughter
Episode 21: Into the Lion's Den, Part II: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Episode 22: A Dog with Two Bones

Season Four

Episode 1: Crichton Kicks
Episode 2: What was Lost, Part I: Sacrifice
Episode 3: What was Lost, Part II: Resurrection
Episode 4: Lava's a Many Splendoured Thing
Episode 5: Promises
Episode 6: Natural Election
Episode 7: John Quixote
Episode 8: I Shrink Therefore I Am
Episode 9: A Prefect Murder
Episode 10: Coup by Clam
Episode 11: Unrealised Reality
Episode 12: Kansas
Episode 13: Terra Firma
Episode 14: Twice Shy
Episode 15: Mental as Anything
Episode 16: Bringing Home the Beacon
Episode 17: A Constellation of Doubt
Episode 18: Prayer
Episode 19: We're So Screwed: Fetal Attraction

Tuesday, June 02, 2020

The Wrong Way

Lately I've found myself watching interviews and lectures by the late Roger Scruton available on YouTube. As I've started seeing reports of the widespread riots in the U.S., I've been constantly reminded of a story Scruton told multiple times about the moment he became a conservative, when witnessing the riots in Paris, instigated by Communists and Socialists, in 1968.

"The thing that most struck me about those students in the street was the sentimentality of their anger. It was all about themselves. It wasn't about anything objective. Here they were the spoiled middle class baby boomers who never had any real difficulty to cope with, shouting their heads off in the streets, burning the cars belonging to ordinary proletarians whom those [students] pretended to be defending against some imaginary repressive structures erected by the bourgeoisie--the whole thing was a complete fiction based on the antiquated ideas of Karl Marx, ideas which were already redundant in the mid-19th century. They were acting out a self scripted drama in which the central character was themselves."

I've had a similar growing feeling since the election of Donald Trump. I didn't vote for Trump, I thought he was incompetent, and I plan on voting for Joe Biden. But almost immediately after Trump's election, reactions against him have felt oddly disconnected. As though Trump was the figurehead of an enemy in a war that had absolutely no substance for me. Which would be bad enough if I liked Trump but seems even worse because I don't like him. The oddly mechanical feeling of new young voices suddenly injected in news media, the stark bifurcation of reality between news media of different political stripes, the persistent recasting of heterosexual male libido as perverse. When I became concerned about lockdowns harming the economy, I immediately felt concern for my former coworkers at JCPenney who found themselves furloughed, sent home without pay. I can understand the belief that quarantining is more important than the economy but rhetoric from the left typically hadn't even a shred of sympathy for that proletariat the left is classically supposed to advocate.

And now, somehow, we're to believe that the horrific, the absolutely despicable murder of George Floyd calls for businesses across the country to be destroyed and looted, for Nashville's City Hall to be burned.

Again and again, I'm glad to be in Japan partly because there are so many things here I used to love about the U.S. Early on, I walked down a street with a coworker and I pointed out to her all the small business along the street we were walking down. There are so many little restaurants here, each distinctive with its own personality. I remember when San Diego was like that, before one by one nearly every place with any shred of individual personality was strangled to death by oppressive rents. And now this. I don't know what else to say because I know the kind of Fred Madison madness I'm talking to can't see or hear the other side. There are no eyes to see or ears to hear any appeal I can make. All I can do is hope.

Monday, June 01, 2020

The Right Square for Circular Eyes

Last week, The Simpsons on Disney+ finally became worth watching. The first seasons, the good ones, were finally made available in their original 4:3 aspect ratio, as they obviously should have been in the first place. It's not on the level of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's infamous "remaster" (Amazon Prime, thankfully, only streams the series in SD) but enough of the screen was cropped out to make it a worthless inclusion on the service. But now all's well that ends well so I picked up where I left off in my last rewatch I began four or five years ago, near the end of season three, with the episode "Bart's Friend Falls in Love".

Now this is an improvement from watching someone's ripped VHS copy, that's for sure.

Said friend of Bart (Nancy Cartwright) is of course Milhouse (Pamela Hayden) who falls for a new girl with braces after viewing a sex ed tape starring a young, 1970s era Troy McClure (Phil Hartman).

Already there's more in this episode than Disney could hope to clean up with a cgi furry butt, right from the beginning with a classic Raiders of the Lost Ark parody featuring Homer (Dan Castellaneta) in his underwear, his unintelligible screams meant to mimic the speech of the Hovitos.

Yes, it's too bad. Perhaps we could warn Disney. If only they spoke Hovitos.

The best part of the episode is actually a subplot in which Homer expands his vocabulary via a subliminal messages tape delivered to him instead of one for weight loss. The next day he starts talking about his "gastronomic rapacity".

The funniest part, though, is when he stops using the tape and forgets "spoon".

"Where's that . . . metal dealie. You know to dig. Food."

Milhouse's girlfriend is voiced by Kimmy Robertson, best known as Lucy from Twin Peaks. It took me a minute to realise it. At first I just thought, "Where have I heard that voice before? Like, in something I've watched so many millions of times in the past thirty years it's etched on my subconscious?" Though as Homer said when Lisa (Yeardley Smith) first brings up the power of subliminal conditioning, "that's a load of rich creamery butter."

Robertson is pretty good as a cartoon child character--she has that kind of voice that doesn't sound like a real child but like a sharper, funnier version. She could have a good career as a voice actress in such roles.

Twitter Sonnet #1359

A folded leg suggests the standing bug.
A sea of hats forestalled the rising mob.
The answer given now's a timely hug.
The thread to shirts was like the corn to cob.
The cloud of cotton's dyed with purple blood.
Impending rubble speaks of building death.
Some muscle sprouts escape the cakey mud.
The sign of air's implied with ev'ry breath.
A kind of answer turned in laundry swoop.
Consensus clicked throughout the squirrel's tree.
Retreating thinkers claim the chicken coop.
Potential hives evade the single bee.
The colour picture snapped a grey response.
The angle clicked like famous housely haunts.

Saturday, May 30, 2020

Taking the TARDIS from Water to Lava

Last week, I posted the first part of my own Doctor Who fan fiction. So to-day I bring you the second, here you go:

DOCTOR WHO

"The New Model Tomb"

by Setsuled

Part II

A woman with torn and matted blonde hair pointed her pistol at the Doctor and demanded, “Well, where is it?! Ten thousand toktols now or you're dead!”

“Ten thousand toktols?” the Doctor blinked in surprise. “I haven't got ten thousand toktols. I don't even have one toktol. Have you any toktols, Rob?”

“Eh, what?” The air was chilly, like an early autumn evening in Plymouth, but he was sweating. His hand was on his sword but he didn't dare draw it. “Toktols—is that currency, then? I have a shilling and threepence.”

The woman with the gun snorted.

“This is probably all part of a slumber party for the E-Yuns,” bellowed a tall man with a large belly. “This may not be serious for you but when we Wuntas ask to be paid for services we expect to be paid.”

“Well, I'm afraid I don't usually carry money,” said the Doctor. “What services do you mean?”

A thin, red-headed young man of about twenty four or twenty five was looking at them with a more appraising eye than the others. “You know, I don't think this is the E-Yun you made the deal with, Brenda.”

“Yes, thank you,” said the Doctor. “We are simply travellers.”

“Travellers?!” Brenda scoffed, clearly unpersuaded, “Here?!”

“Want a tour of broken pipes and leaky roofs?” asked a thin, dark haired man coming down the metal stairwell of a nearby building.

“This place does look like it's seen better days,” said the Doctor, looking about. A third of the buildings on the narrow street looked as though they'd been in a terrible fire years ago and were never repaired. They were all tall buildings, each at least seven storeys and Rob marvelled that they could be so thin and sheer and not topple over. He wondered what could leave the gigantic black marks, visible beneath what must have been months or years of accumulated dust.

“Look,” the Doctor continued, “I haven't got any toktols but I am a doctor. Perhaps there's something I can do for you and in exchange perhaps you can tell me a bit about this place?”

“Doctor, eh?” said the tall man.

“Diana and the four girls from Henchal's could do with a doctor,” the red-headed man remarked in a low, cautious tone to the tall man.

“You think so, Billy?” said the tall man, peevishly amused. “And what would you know about doctors?” He turned to the Doctor. “You know what we did to the last doctor we saw down here?”

Rob half-expected some witty rejoinder from his new friend but he looked at her now to see a grave expression on her face. She said nothing, keeping her hands in the pockets of her velvet coat.

“My name's Rob Fenner,” he said suddenly. “I'm a seaman, I grew up in Plymouth, England, if that means anything to you. I haven't known the Doctor a long time but if she says she wants to help, I can testify, her word is good.”

“England?!” said the thin man. “They really are having a slumber party.”

“There's no harm in letting me at least look at this Diana and the four girls, is there?” the Doctor said, ignoring this last exchange.

“I have a better idea,” said Billy, the redhead. “What kind of ransom do you think these two would fetch, Tom?”

Suddenly, a great, swirling wind arose about them. Dust whirled about—Rob covered his face with his arm and through the sudden haze he could just make out the Doctor burying her face in her coat. White light like sunbeams appeared as glowing shafts in the dust. The Doctor grabbed Rob's sleeve and pulled him back to the edge of the road as a dark shape, the size of a sloop, descended and came to rest on the street with a hiss.

“Keep your hands in the air,” a woman's voice boomed from the object, impossibly loud. “I'm looking for Brenda Vitti.”

The people on the street all took cover or moved to the side of the street. The big man with the gut, Tom, looked at the thing with calm disgust. Brenda fidgeted in the doorway of a building behind him. No-one said anything. No-one raised their hands.

There was another hiss from the thing and a curved hatch opened up on one side. A plump, brown skinned young woman stepped out. She was pretty and about Rob's own age. She wore a simple one piece garment with numerous external pockets, each with a little flap. Over this was a peculiar suit of armour, more like a skeleton of armour than proper armour, a grid mesh involved with disjointed black webbing.

“I'm not here to hurt anyone,” she said, hers being the voice of the machine but now it was of a normal human volume. “I'm only here to speak with Brenda Vitti and I'm prepared to pay.”

“That's more like it,” said Brenda, stepping forward. Tom grunted out a derisively little laugh but didn't do anything to stop her.

The woman from the machine had a tense smile on her face and she looked around the buildings furtively. She really didn't look like she wanted to be there but she strode forward briskly, unfalteringly. So quick was her movement that Brenda recoiled a little.

“Don't be afraid,” said the woman. “I'm Detective Inspector Sara Marwat, we spoke yesterday on the comm link. May we go somewhere to speak alone?”

Rob had never seen anyone so easily master their own evident fear. The look in the inspector's eyes, which were a little moist with tears, was on the verge of panic but her gestures and her tone suggested only confidence and purpose.

“I got nothing to say these folk ain't fit to hear,” said Brenda. “And where are my toktols finally? What's the idea of sending your little scouts ahead empty handed?”

“Scouts?” said the inspector.

“Hello, I'm the Doctor,” said Rob's new friend pleasantly. “My companion here is Rob Fenner. Your name is Sara, I gather?”

Inspector Marwat looked at the Doctor and Rob in surprise but spoke to Brenda as though they weren't even there. With her eyes on the Doctor and Rob, she reached into a pocket on her left hip and produced several pink and white coins. “Here. Now what can you tell me about the night of February Fifth and Leland Shaw?”

Brenda smirked, putting the coins in a grubby purse hanging at her side. “He was at the party, all right. And Bobby Nelson and Eddie Yamaguchi were there, too, just like you said. Eddie tried that new beer from Harpsol and got sick in front of everyone. Leland and Bobby were playing darts.” She shrugged. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

“What was Eddie wearing?” the inspector persisted.

Brenda looked curiously at the woman. “I don't know. Shirt and trousers I guess. Don't remember the colour. The colour of puke by the end of the night I guess.”

The inspector considered this a moment then finally nodded. “Thank you for your cooperation, Miss Vitti. You may go.”

Brenda mockingly bowed before sauntering off. The others remained, watching the inspector.

“Well done!” said the Doctor, coming forward. “A keen nose has the local law enforcement, I see. It might interest you--”

“Who are you?” the inspector interrupted.

“As I said, I'm the Doctor and this is my companion, Rob. We're new here, travellers. I was wondering--”

“Travellers from where? Where was your point of entry on Mallos?”

“Mallos, ah! Of course.” The Doctor smiled and ran a hand through her hair as she looked about again at the buildings and at the twilight sky dotted with dark grey clouds.

“We came in that box yonder,” Rob said, pointing at the TARDIS. The inspector turned to look at the blue box and stared at it quietly. She still looked a little frightened and instinctively he wanted to reassure her. “The Doctor's right, I think, you're doing good work. A constable or magistrate of some kind, are you?”

At this the Doctor looked at Rob sharply, curiously, before turning to the inspector again. “You see, inspector, I understand there are five injured people nearby in need of medical assistance. Perhaps you can help me persuade these people to allow me to examine them?”

“Why?” asked the inspector.

“Er, like I said, I'm a doctor and I believe I might be of some help.” The Doctor licked her lips, waiting for the inspector to respond. “Maybe there's nothing I can do . . . but I won't know that until I see them, will I?”

“You're wasting your breath!” said Tom, laughing. “The good E-Yun Detective Inspector could care less for Diana and the girls!”

Detective Inspector Marwat regarded the Doctor with a look of abject terror. She looked ready to completely break down. The Doctor seemed at this point to finally notice it.

“Now, now, it's quite all right,” said the Doctor. “Er. Everything will be fine. You're doing a very good job and you'll be home, nice and safe, before you know it, I'm sure. I'm sure I can persuade Tom here to show me to his friends.”

“Yeah, all right, I suppose so,” Tom said grudgingly. “You don't seem like an E-Yun, anyhow.”

“It was very nice meeting you,” said the Doctor, starting to follow Tom. But Inspector Marwat also started to follow.

“I will accompany you,” she said, only a slight tremor in her voice as she stepped forward, pressing something on her wrist. Behind her, the hatch closed on her strange craft.

“That's the spirit!” said the Doctor. “Stay close to me and Rob and you'll be all right. Rob's a good stout lad, he'll see you come to no harm.”

Rob flushed red but added, “Yes, m'lady. Quite.” He offered his arm, wishing his sleeve wasn't so dirty. She looked at his elbow a moment, puzzled, and didn't take it. They all started together down the broken lane, Tom in the lead followed by the Doctor. Rob, walking beside the inspector, followed last.

“So . . .” he began, searching for a frame of reference. He'd never tried talking to one of the native girls at any of the ports in the West Indies. The last time he got anywhere with a woman was when he started talking to an English servant maid about living through the siege of Gloucester. “So . . . you're searching—doing a . . .” Words failed him. “What brings you here?”

She shot him a fearful look and then continued looking straight ahead but answered, “I'm investigating the poisoning of several Aeon citizens.”

“Aeon—oh, E-Yuns,” he realised lamely.

“Yes, that's what the Wanters call us,” she said softly, in almost a whisper. The Doctor had fallen back a bit, clearly having been listening to them the whole time.

“Wanters?” asked Rob. “Why do you call them that? What do they want?”

“How do you not know any of this?” she asked Rob.

“Rob is terribly out of touch,” the Doctor said apologetically. “Really, Rob, do pay attention.”

Rob laughed ruefully, “Right. I've been at sea too long, you might say.”

“The Wanters . . . want,” the inspector said helplessly. “That's how they live. Everything they do is because the want something. They want toktols or food or sex.”

“I see. Don't we all want some things now and then, though?” asked Rob.

The inspector blushed and dropped back, clearly wanting to disengage. Rob looked helplessly at the Doctor.

“By now, my boy, 'want' has come exclusively to mean desire, to covet,” the Doctor explained in a low voice.

“Oh,” said Rob, glancing back. “Is she a Puritan?”

“I very much doubt it . . .” she trailed off as she caught sight of something and smiled. “Hmm! Look at that.”

He followed her gaze and saw that the ubiquitous buildings had thinned out enough to allow a glimpse of grey hillside. On the hillside against the darkening sky was what looked like a Roman aqueduct except the top of it was glowing bright orange.

“'Zounds!” said Rob. “What on Earth is that?”

“Not on Earth, Rob,” she leaned in closer to him, her big eyes drawing him in. “We've come to the planet Mallos. And that, my boy, is part of a sophisticated system for harnessing geothermal power.”

“Geo—what?” he watched her breathlessly.

Her voice dipped dramatically, “Volcanoes. They use the power of volcanos to create automated light and heat—and many other wonders.”

“Incredible,” was all he could say, overcome fully now by the strangeness of how far he'd come. “And he people here--'tis all very like The Man in the Moon.”

“Read that, did you? You are full of surprises. We've come much further than the moon, though, and this world is much bigger. Tell me, Rob,” said the Doctor, now looking down at her feet, still clad in heeled slippers with ivory silk bows, as she picked her away over jagged, blackened plaster and masonry. “When you said the inspector had done a good job, what did you mean?”

“Well, like you said,” Rob glanced at the Doctor. “She's a canny inquisitor.”

“Yes, but why, exactly?”

“Well, she asked about some fellows named . . . Eddie and Leland . . . but what she really wanted to know was whether Brenda was in that party, I think. If Brenda had tried to act like she remembered what that fellow Eddie was wearing, or tried avoiding the question, the inspector would have concluded Brenda was lying,”

“Ah ha, yes! That's right,” the Doctor grinned, looking ahead. “Brenda was a suspect. And now, she knows Brenda has an alibi for February Fifth.”

“Ah . . .” said Rob slowly, glancing back at the taciturn inspector. “And so she's come with us now . . .”

“Because we likely look like prime suspects ourselves,” finished the Doctor.

TO BE CONTINUED