Bad, Bad Borg

Last night's finale of Picard was an effective action spectacle, touched here and there with effective sentiment, an unabashed exhibition of fan-service, and an all-in ploy for a conservative audience. I did enjoy it. Though, after the Mandalorian finale also focused on the importance of family and working together, I think it's high time we get some more stories about how it can be rewarding to work alone.

Behind the spectacle and the nostalgia, the real theme at work here is bad-collective-thinking versus good-collective-thinking. Last week's abruptly established plot point was about all the ships being linked together in a somehow, vaguely sinister way turned out to be the work of the Borg. When Riker wondered how the Federation could court such a dangerous technology, I could only say, "What technology?" Surely the computers could always talk to each other?

Picard and Crusher's son Jack turns out to be an integral part of the Borg plan somehow but in the big climactic moment, Picard establishes that his family connexion with Jack is stronger than the Borg's infiltration of his DNA, a point that might have been stronger if Picard had known Jack for longer than just this season. It also, unfortunately, reminded me of a disappointing episode of Doctor Who ("Closing Time") in which human family love somehow outperforms Cyberman zombification. Since the Borg were originally copied from the Cybermen, I suppose this is at least fitting.

In terms of the show's courting of a conservative audience, I was reminded of reading what Quentin Tarantino wrote about Dirty Harry in his new book, a film that also boldly courted conservatives at a time when movies were relentlessly dominated by progressive messaging. Top Gun Maverick seems to have taught Paramount there's a big audience for this and it was a little distracting how calculated it seemed at times. Even little moments like when Data said he was going to trust his "gut" reminded me of how George W. Bush was once widely derided by the left for saying the same thing.

But I did appreciate the nostalgia, the action scenes were well put together, and the show actually had a breakout star in Todd Stashwick as Liam Shaw. His last moment in the final episode with Seven of Nine was more emotionally effective than even the best deployed nostalgia bait.

I had to admit I found it kind of funny, though, that in the midst of all this messaging about family, the show seemed to have totally forgotten Picard's Romulan lover back at his vineyard.

Star Trek: Picard is available on Paramount+.

Star Trek: Remembering

Last night, Star Trek: Picard boldly went where we'd had already gone before. And I do mean boldly. It's bold for Star Trek to be so blatantly, panderingly conservative. Though I think it should be remembered that it comes from Paramount, the same studio that produced the smash hit Top Gun Maverick, the movie which miraculously poked some Hollywood heads out of the cloud of self-congratulation to see the massive percentage of audience alienated by the deluge of progressive message cgi spectacles. So as Star Wars celebration concludes with announcements of series and films that I think everyone knows with continue the franchise's downward trajectory, Star Trek took aim at that not so silent majority.

I liked some of it. I liked the idea of the Borg rewriting Picard's DNA and infiltrating the Federation through the transporter buffers. I liked Picard and Crusher's son, Jack, struggling to understand how much of his personality was him, how much was the Borg, and if they can even be separated. But it was certainly odd when he wondered aloud if his lifelong fight against bigotry was a symptom of Borg influence. Maybe it would have been more interesting if that had actually been an established part of his character, but I think it still would have seemed cynically aimed at a certain part of the audience.

As does the fact that the Borg virus only affects young people. It's pretty transparent.

The episode culminates with something we all saw coming but I was still eager to see anyway--the return of the Enterprise-D.

They even resurrected Majel Barrett's voice for the computer. The wife of Gene Roddenberry passed away in 2008 but there's more than enough of her voice on file to deploy now, even more appropriately than James Earl Jones' voice was uploaded for Obi-Wan Kenobi. I can't object to a computer playing a computer.

They even turned on the lights. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy seeing the set again, despite Picard still not sounding much like Picard when he says the thing he missed most was the carpet. In addition to being out of character at any time, it's certainly odd in this moment when this is supposed to be a big desperate endeavour to save the entire fleet from the Borg. Oh, well. I guess I should just shut up and enjoy these morsels graciously delivered to me.

Star Trek: Picard is available on Paramount+.

Twitter Sonnet #1687

'Neath stacks of cans the metal eyes arrange.
A cheap and shiny copse condensed a meal.
It's served on pickled plates, it's passing strange.
It's crooked, lean, and sure a losing deal.
Beyond the swamp a choice hotel resides.
Selective veins enlarge the varied limbs.
Confused the ghosts in actors now confides.
The longer dressed all were heavy hems.
Perspective brought a cheese to normal brunch.
With mammal art we duped the birds to sell.
Again the script returned a healthy lunch.
The waitress rang the discontented bell.
The apron's traded last for sweets and fun.
And Easter night against the morning won.

A Generation

The newest episode of Picard was a little better than episodes five, six, and seven, though still not quite hitting the heights of the first four. It certainly came off as a tribute to Next Generation fans and it was nice seeing the bridge crew back together.

Though many of them seemed more like the actors getting back together instead of the characters, particularly Picard. Patrick Stewart has changed his performance of the character so much I just don't recognise him as the same man. There's this constant plaintive tone to his voice now that's really tiresome.

Troi seems mostly the same, though, even if her bangs are distracting. She was my favourite character when I was a kid, mostly because I thought Marina Sirtis was hot. And maybe I also really dug the concept of an empath. They seem to have expanded her powers a lot in this episode, which I suppose they may as well. So much of new Trek involves people having visions and telepathic experiences, it's nice for them to have a character previously established with telepathic abilities.

What a shame cgi isn't cheaper and easier. Brent Spiner's new merged Data and Lore character is hard to see as anything but Brent Spiner in makeup. I also wish they'd dumped the idea of a Data with emotions. The whole "does he/doesn't he have emotions" in TNG has been parodied and had holes poked in it so much, yes. It's not hard to find moments in which Data clearly did have emotions. But because of this, the series concept of Data with emotions feels like Data with extra emotions. And in the new episode of Picard, too. He's unpleasantly zany.

I did like the resolution of his fight with Lore, though, even though I kind of saw it coming.

They have got to do something about the lighting on these shows, particularly since they have so many elderly cast members. No-one wants Patrick Stewart to break a hip on one of the tables.

Star Trek: Picard is available on Paramount+.

That Space Again

Well, the first four episodes of the new season of Star Trek: Picard were good, anyway. Episodes five and six have sadly started to indulge in some of the things that brought down Discovery.

In episode five, Jack Crusher starts to have visions of a "Red Lady" and getting psychotic breaks, an unwelcome echo of the Red Angel plot from Discovery season two. Maybe the writer of episode 6, Christopher Monfette, realised this because he nipped it right in the bud at the beginning of the episode by having Jack Crusher take the extraordinary step of telling the other characters that he's having hallucinations.

Unfortunately, the rest of the episode wallows in maudlin fan service. Now on the run, our heroes hide out at a starship museum where we get glimpses of the Defiant and the Voyager before Geordi La Forge shows up, now a commodore. He has a pretty predictable little arc about how he's unwilling to let his daughters risk their lives for their ideals and of course he comes around by the end of the episode. One of the daughters mentions a hanger in the museum off hand that I bet good money will end up housing the Enterprise-D, refitted by Geordi in his spare time. Except the budget for sets seems to be pretty slim this season and they apparently still can't afford to turn on all the lights.

Michelle Forbes returned for one episode, in episode five, to finally resolve the issues left dangling when she left to join the Maquis in TNG. It was nice the writers thought to do that but it was completely the wrong context. It was like Ro was plugged into the space of a totally different character, in this case somehow a high ranking intelligence officer. Picard somehow was totally unaware of Ro returning to Starfleet and getting a whole new career. So they have a confrontation and the two actors are good but I was annoyed by so much of the dialogue, particularly revolving around the awkwardly named "Bajoran earring." I wonder if Christian crucifixes are called "human crosses" in the future. In any case, Ro needed to come back for more than one episode if they were really going address the issues leftover for her character from TNG and give her a new role in the galaxy.

The show could still pull out of this. Amanda Plummer is still entertaining as the villain. But I fear the first four episodes derived their vitality entirely by imitating Star Trek II.

Star Trek: Picard is available on Paramount+.

Twitter Sonnet #1681

To change, proceed to find an open box.
The watchful babies guard the tower wall.
With special steel, you forge your armour socks.
With special shoes, we'll think you're very tall.
You doddle home but questions hound your toes.
Like where's the dough and where's the oven gone?
A cake you'd bake yourself with frosted bows.
And someone's apron floats ashore at dawn.
The iron evened out the row of feet.
A glassy sea was safe for dancing disks.
Above the cannon ball the angels beat.
A pulpy drink is not without its risks.
Returning ships'll carry packing nuts.
Addiction turns the head to lazy ruts.

Where Many Have Gone Before

I couldn't get past the second episode of Star Trek: Picard season one. But I heard the new season, season three, was actually pretty good so far so I skipped right to it. And it is pretty good. What a nice surprise.

It's not perfect. It has a few dumb things and just poorly considered lines of dialogue. Like when one character meets Worf and says, "Picard talks about you all the time!" No, no, Picard wouldn't talk about Worf all the time. Can you imagine? "Lieutenant, come to my ready room. You know, Worf used to visit my ready room. Would like some prune juice? You know who likes prune juice?"

"I'm guessing Worf?"

There are lots of those little auto-pilot lines that sound like the writer just wasn't considering--wait. Was this show written by an AI? . . . Well, it has the same credited writers as season two, which I hear was even worse than season one. The key difference is that Akiva Goldsman and Michael Chabon are absent from season three. I guess sometimes a show just needs fewer writers, not different writers.

Maybe they ought to have credited Nicholas Meyer and Jack B. Sowards, director and screenwriter, respectively, of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, which the first four episodes of Picard season three gratuitously and unabashedly ape. The fourth episode is even called "No Win Scenario".

It's not the first time, or even the second, third, fourth, fifth, or sixteenth time a Star Trek series or movie has tried to do Star Trek II again. Even the last Next Generation movie, Star Trek: Nemesis, borrowed heavily from Star Trek II, featuring Tom Hardy as Picard's clone/son figure. Picard season three more closely follows the the Star Trek II model.

The famous Captain Picard/Kirk, now an admiral, feeling his age a little, goes on an inspection tour of a Starfleet vessel. It turns out his old flame, though, Beverly Crusher/Carol Marcus, who's involved with a scientific project outside Federation jurisdiction, is in trouble. Working alongside her is her son, Jack Crusher/David Marcus, whose true identity as Picard's/Kirk's son she's kept hidden since his conception. But there's a villain afoot unconnected with all this family drama and pursues our heroes into a nebula where the two ships play a blind game of cat and mouse. And the whole thing ends with the witnessing of a remarkable birth that symbolises a new youth for Picard/Kirk.

Despite all this obvious copying and pasting, the four episodes are genuinely good. The writers have finally taken the hint that fans want their old familiar characters back along with logical problem-solving plots. Riker, Crusher, and Worf are all back in the mix. I wonder, too, if the writers are trying to woo back more conservative viewers by relegating most of the female characters to support roles, which would be cynical and, I think, a misreading of what said fans actually want.

But anyway. Three new cast members really shine; Todd Stashwick as Captain Shaw, commanding the ship Riker and Picard end up commandeering, Ed Speelers as Jack Crusher, and Amanda Plummer as Vadic, a character not unlike the one Plummer's father played in Star Trek VI.

Once again, Patrick Stewart is back as Picard, but I find myself saddened by how feeble he is now. I miss his strong, stern delivery. There are a couple scenes where you can see a fire kindled inside him, particularly the scene where he confronts Beverly about keeping their son a secret from him. Suddenly, he's alive and animated again. In other scenes, though, Stewart really seems checked out. He even slurs his words together a lot. I wonder how much of it is his age and how much of it is just him being so damned tired of Star Trek at this point. It's too bad the showrunners have burned their bridges with William Shatner. Nine years older than Patrick Stewart, he nonetheless seems a lot livelier.

The mechanics of the space battles and the character relationships work well enough that I was truly invested in the finale of episode four. So I guess I'll stick with this thing for now.

Star Trek: Picard is available on Paramount+.

Twitter Sonnet #1677

A stranger's face replaced an empty mug.
The oil fathoms wait for falling souls.
A devil scoops them down an iron jug.
As screaming fish abide in prison bowls.
Between the bubbles, eyes were hidden well.
A time of stars has warped the golden fleece.
Beneath the sea, an oyster hides a bell.
A signal lost in time denies us peace.
A captive lung rebounds against the cage.
Ascending steam refined a laser cloud.
Amounting sky condensed the stars to rage.
Descending suns announced the doom aloud.
Remembered ships were fat before the town.
A vicious crew emerged to tear it down.

A Starfleet Admiral Declines Stimulants

Captain Picard is back and he drinks decaffeinated Earl Grey now. Star Trek: Picard, which premiered a few days ago, was about what I expected; the bland product of a committee of panicked writers and producers. And into the fray wanders Patrick Stewart, whose stipulation for returning was that Starfleet turn out to be dark.

The new show, Stewart says, “was me responding to the world of Brexit and Trump and feeling, ‘Why hasn’t the Federation changed? Why hasn’t Starfleet changed?’ Maybe they’re not as reliable and trustworthy as we all thought.”

Which is not in itself a bad idea, though it is a little bit like saying, "What if we did a production of Macbeth but everyone was dressed like it was World War II?" Which Patrick Stewart did, by the way, and it's pretty good, as you might imagine, and it's available on Amazon Prime. But it was around 40 years after his friend Ian McKellen more famously did the same thing. And McKellen's version is famous for his performance, not the costumes, which were already old hat in the 70s.

The anachronistic costume for Shakespeare is kind of an institution for which World War II costumes are a stratum to themselves. And with Star Trek, it's been over twenty years since Section 31 was introduced as producers boldly decided to steer Deep Space Nine away from Gene Roddenberry's vision. As much as I love DS9, the decision was effectively to make Star Trek a bit more like virtually every other space opera since Star Wars. And in terms of the history and political psychology of a system grown complacent and rotten, Star Trek doesn't have anywhere near the same cohesive groundwork as George Lucas gave the Star Wars prequels, just one new producer and showrunner after another who said, "Hey, what if we make it dark?"

Of course, this is why The Orville has felt like such breath of fresh air. Maybe now we have some insight into why Seth MacFarlane's comedy/drama space opera is essentially the only Seth MacFarlane film or series with which Patrick Stewart hasn't been involved.

But while making the Federation less than a utopia is hardly a new idea, it's certainly no deal breaker for me. The essential problem with the premiere episode is similar to Star Trek: Discovery and the Transformers films--too much chorus, not enough verse. We barely meet the beautiful Dahj (Isa Briones) before she sees a loved one murdered and she's forced on the run, meeting briefly with Picard at his vineyard and pleading for his help before she predictably absconds from the guest quarters. Reports that the show would bear some similarity to Logan seem to be true as we find out she's a hypertalented martial artist with super strength, part of a dangerous race of synthetics hated for being what they are. She's also in some sense the daughter of Data (Brent Spiner) who really ought to have been de-aged for the dream sequences.

Wow, that hairline sure looks weird. Brent Spiner has commented in the past he wouldn't return for the role because Data has to look like he hasn't aged. I wonder if he was promised he would be de-aged but the decision was vetoed in post-production. Maybe it just didn't seem worth someone taking a pay-cut?

I like the idea of Picard on his vineyard with his two loyal Romulan servants, like a retired Victorian general who brought home some Indian assassins to serve him tea. It's wonderfully pulpy and marvellously politically incorrect though I wonder if this occurred to any of the producers. This from Michael Chabon, who once wrote an essay arguing that The Lord of the Rings engages in racist tropes.

I'll stick with Picard and I hope it gets better. Right now, though, it feels like a hyperactive remix of the Next Generation episodes "The Offspring" and "Descent".

Twitter Sonnet #1321

In threes the witches grant a word.
Appointed meets produce a moulded man.
Resounding wind on metal late was heard.
Beneath the sun the hills were turned to tan.
Appliance sales reflect the gleaming fridge.
No power cords could lift the blender up.
Rebellious toasters lined the oven ridge.
Excessive tea o'erwhelmed the coffee cup.
Considered lights were extra hard to hit.
Upset the salt and dusty tables form.
Surpassing forks consumed the silver kit.
Potato thoughts have kept the foil warm.
Decaffeinated tea's a replica.
With kettles froze in tested silica.