Wanna see one of the most pathetic things on the internet? Behold! John Mellencamp filling in for Roger Ebert.
MIND OF MELLENCAMP: Well, gosh darn it, if them Eggbert and Roperts aren't the meanest sons o'guns--I'm just gonna give thumbs up to every movie.
Some of my favourite bits; "Well, I didn't think the movie was that bad," "Now--I didn't say I didn't like the music, I said I didn't get the music," "[Vacency] is in the tradition of Hitchcock," "I haven't seen many horror movies."
Of all the well versed movie critics who'd love the chance to fill in for Ebert . . . sheesh.
MIND OF ROEPER: Suddenly I look like a very good critic.
Ebert, come back. Now.