Sinead O'Connor

Sinead O'Connor, who was found dead two days ago, was a revelation in her music video for "Nothing Compares 2 U". It's like watching Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire for the first time. It's such a remarkably raw performance, with such seemingly natural emotion immediate and on the surface.

She appeared in films a few times but never really pursued an acting career. I was particularly fond of her appearance as the Virgin Mary in Neil Jordan's The Butcher Boy, for which she also recorded her version of that classic folk song.

I listen to O'Connor a lot, I have most of her albums in my usual playlist. Like many rock stars, her first couple of albums are by far her best. "Nothing Compares 2 U" is a Prince song which she covered on her second album, I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got. Her first album, 1987's The Lion and the Cobra, is one I've enjoyed listening to while making comics in the past. I'm particularly fond of "Mandinka".

For a song that seems to be about stripping and having no shame, it comes from an artist who was unwavering in her dislike of sexualised depictions of women. Her wardrobe was distinguished for being bulky and shapeless and, when Miley Cyrus appeared naked in the music video for "Wrecking Ball" in 2013, O'Connor wrote an open letter to the young star urging her never to allow her naked body to be used for the profits of men.

O'Connor was scolded herself often enough in her younger days. Prince, in his turbulent first meeting with O'Connor after the release of her cover of "Nothing Compares 2 U", told her not to use swear words in interviews. Her reply was to tell him to fuck off.

She was always passionate but no matter how passionate her opinions they were always subject to drastic change, a common symptom of people with borderline disorder, with which she was diagnosed. After identifying as Christian throughout her life, she converted to Islam in 2018 and announced on Twitter:

"What I'm about to say is something so racist I never thought my soul could ever feel it. But truly I never wanna spend time with white people again (if that's what non-muslims are called). Not for one moment, for any reason. They are disgusting."

She later claimed the remarks were merely an attempt to be banned by Twitter and that they were "not true at the time and not true now".

She attempted suicide several times. When one can remember having opinions which one might suddenly and vehemently hate, it's not hard to see how such an individual would be inclined to kill herself. Although the cause of her death has not been made public, I think most of us assume it was suicide.

Stories of her erratic behaviour were regular over the course of several years. There were reports of her going missing, of publicising her online dating profile. It's strange behaviour, but maybe not so strange when one remembers the behaviours of other rock stars. Was she really any crazier than Jim Morrison?

Morrissey blogged about her after her death.

She had only so much ‘self’ to give. She was dropped by her label after selling 7 million albums for them. She became crazed, yes, but uninteresting, never. She had done nothing wrong. She had proud vulnerability

"Proud vulnerability" is a good way to put it. However flawed her judgement may have been, she certainly understood her own appeal. She knew why people went to see her in concert. That vulnerability was something to be proud of. It's with that vulnerability that rock stars give us permission to be vulnerable ourselves, and thereby help us to see ourselves, to discover our own values. Few have had the guts that Sinead O'Connor had, though. Sadly, sometimes having guts means jumping into the fire and not coming back.