Sending Your Money to Space

Yesterday I watched another really long YouTube video, this one four hours, Jenny Nicholson's long gestating review of the Star Wars Galactic Cruiser. I always enjoy Nicholson's coverage of theme parks but I don't think I realised how curious I was about this particular theme park experience until I started watching the video.

Well, I mostly listened to the review while playing Skyrim. If you want something to listen to while doing chores that you can glance at now and then, I recommend it.

What a peculiar topic for our time. As the gap between rich and poor increases, theme parks in the US are increasingly becoming the exclusive domain of the rich. Nicholson argues that perhaps there are middle class families who splurged and spent the 6,000 dollars on two nights at the Star Wars Hotel. I don't think Nicholson's aware of just how small the middle class has gotten. But even for rich people, she doesn't defend this price. It's not a favorable review by any means.

I'd sort of forgotten how much I loved Star Tours as a kid. Star Tours, of course, was free with the price of admission to Disneyland in those innocent days of the 1980s. I assume it still is.

Galactic Cruiser seems like the natural next step in evolution but obviously it was botched spectacularly, as more commentators than Nicholson have noted. One thing Nicholson doesn't mention is the lack of celebrity cameos. One of my favourite things about Star Tours was the animatronic C3PO, voiced by Anthony Daniels himself. Animatronics never really looked human but an animatronic droid was kind of perfect. It was like really seeing C3PO. It's a shame Disney made Star Wars merch and attractions so damned tacky but maybe if I were a kid I'd find it just as magical as I did the original Star Tours back in the '80s.

I like the idea of staying at a hotel that was a good simulation of a spacecraft but, frankly, for six grand, I would expect to be on an actual spacecraft. Though I see now that SpaceX charges between 50 million and 100 million. That's a lot of money for going nowhere.

X Sonnet #1845

Reluctant dudes returned to fill a week.
Denial rose to relish pedal bikes.
With extra feet, the rider ploughs a peak.
So time at last would end the hobby hike.
Mosquito master burbles blood at brunch.
Embarrassed staff removed his tray of flesh.
Containers cracked to fill a honey hunch.
The day of bugs concludes with nothing fresh.
Impressive stunts succeed on shoeless feet.
Conflicting tongues disrupt the verbal fight.
Reversing time returned to bone its meat.
Ideas composed a foul but fragrant night.
Beyond the sky, a metal sausage choked.
For thousands spent, the plastic goose was broke.