2023 at the Movies with Me (Setsuled)

All right, I can delay it no longer, it's time to get some ranking done. As usual, there are many movies I still want to see, perhaps most notably Poor Things, but I live in Japan and it doesn't come out here until the end of January. I suppose I'll plug it into the appropriate spot at some point.

I'm doing something a little different this year. Usually I rank all the movies I saw in one big list, from worst to best. That's how I've been doing it for about ten years or so. Before that, I made more traditional top ten lists. This year, I think I'll try going back to that format. I've made a Ten Worst and a Ten Best list. In between, I've put runners up and movies I've decided don't warrant a ranking for various reasons.

Bear in mind, for the Ten Worst list, I haven't seen The Marvels because I heard it was terrible, and I hated Captain Marvel and was indifferent to Monica Rambeaux.

Ten Worst Movies of 2023

10. Ant-Man and the Wasp in Quantumania(Wikipedia entry, my review)

You know, Michelle Pfeiffer was really good in this movie. I liked Bill Murray's cameo and some of the monster designs were cool. It's a shame about the terrible screenplay and the even worse studio tampering.

9. Napoleon(Wikipedia entry, my review)

Ridley Scott made a movie about how a man became emperor on his charming personality alone and he hired Joaquin Phoenix to play him like he played the off-putting and creepy Arthur Fleck. Oops.

8. Leave the World Behind(Wikipedia entry, my review)

Few things are quite so dumb as a dumb movie that thinks its brilliant. Leave the World Behind demonstrates how easy it is to manufacture conflict among characters who are all stereotypes. Maybe this is the new commedia dell'arte.

7. They Cloned Tyrone(Wikipedia entry, my review)

Here's another movie that thought it was being brilliantly progressive, but this was an even lazier, more egregious indulgence in stereotypes.

6. Elemental(Wikipedia entry, my review)

Zootopia sure made it look easy but it turns out you do need more than a high concept to make a good movie.

5. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny(Wikipedia entry, my review)

The director of Kate and Leopold saw Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and evidently thought, "This franchise needs more cgi. Also, a belligerent woman needs to physically abuse an elderly Indiana Jones because he's too stupid to know what's good for him."

4. M3GAN(Wikipedia entry, my review) If you've seen the original Child's Play, you've seen a superior version of M3GAN, and Child's Play is by no means a masterpiece.

3. Wonka(Wikipedia entry, my review)

I truly believe an AI was involved in writing this soulless dollop of crap. Maybe the screenwriter ran it through a programme on the sly, I don't know. I just prefer to believe no human being would be responsible for something this devoid of emotion.

2. Barbie(Wikipedia entry, my review)

Pink is the colour of Pepto Bismol and you might need some after choking down this hackneyed chunk of simplistic, corporate memo feminism.

1. Haunted Mansion(Wikipedia entry, my review)

I am a sucker for haunted house movies but not that much of a sucker. Here we have ghosts without menace, editing without instinct, and characters without souls. So I guess they don't have to worry about the afterlife.

Unranked Additional Movies I Saw This Year

二十歳に還りたい (web site)
No Hard Feelings (Wikipedia entry, my review)
Godzilla Minus One (Wikipedia entry, my review)
Evil Dead Rise (Wikipedia entry, my review)
Boston Strangler (Wikipedia entry, my review)
The Flash (Wikipedia entry, my review)
Ballerina (Wikipedia entry, my review)

Runners Up

14. The Super Mario Brothers Movie (Wikipedia entry, my review)
13. Hypnotic (Wikipedia entry, my review)
12. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Wikipedia entry, my review)
11. John Wick: Chapter 4 (Wikipedia entry)

Ten Best Movies of 2023

10. Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (Wikipedia entry, my review)

I still wish they'd make a Dragonlance movie and something less meta, but this one felt like it had genuine heart. The characters have problems you care about and they're played with real charm and integrity, particularly by Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, and Hugh Grant. Praise the gods for small favours.

9. Asteroid City (Wikipedia entry, my review)

It's not one of Wes Anderson's most impressive or meaningful films but it has a wonderful aesthetic and it's always nice to visit Anderson's deadpan, sincere retro universe.

8. Thanksgiving (Wikipedia entry, my review)

This was a satisfying meal with some real holiday cheer in the form of dark, bloody humour and a genuinely engaging mystery.

7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (Wikipedia entry, my review)

It's yet another iteration/reboot of the Ninja Turtles franchise but this time someone had the bright idea to make it like a real movie. The teenagers are written like the screenwriters actually thought about what it was like to be a teenager, the animation is terrific, and everyone feels alive in a way characters don't tend to in franchise fare these days.

6. Master Gardener (Wikipedia entry, my review)

Paul Schrader's throwback to the revenge, Searchers inspired movies of the '70s is a fascinating continuation of that particular conversation about human nature. What is the value of human life, what is the value of violence? Also, Sigourney Weaver has jellyfish wallpaper.

5. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (Wikipedia entry, my review)

James Gunn's cocktail of space weirdness and a found family helping each other get through a life of brutal trauma is at its most potent in the third volume of his Guardians of the Galaxy films. He's definitely leaving on a high note and delivered the best Marvel movie in years (I know, there's not much competition, but still).

4. Killers of the Flower Moon (Wikipedia entry, my review)

Scorsese delivered a fascinating rumination on human frailty and human corruption with this masterfully crafted film. Just like Henry Hill in Goodfellas laid out the appeal of the mafia lifestyle, Scorsese with Flower Moon shows just how insidiously corruption can take root in a community.

3. Perfect Days (Wikipedia entry, my review)

Wim Wenders' latest film is both an admiring portrait of zen-like acceptance as well as a criticism of it. Altogether, it's an excellent modern example of mono no aware and an incredibly poetic exhibition of how the human heart will always need more than it can get in life.

2. Oppenheimer (Wikipedia entry, my review)

Christopher Nolan has made an ingenious sequence of cinema with this movie, this three hour movie that goes down smooth as finely aged whiskey. Every link in the chain of this non-linear narrative flows smoothly into the next; purely as an example of technical expertise it's a wonder to behold. The story, too, is brilliant: the story about how the unpredictable, or all too predictable, interweaving of human interests--of love, jealousy, ambition, and patriotism--can have consequences equal to the highest levels of achievement and the lowest depths of human dread.

1. The Boy and the Heron (君たちはどう生きるか) (Wikipedia entry, my review)

The courage director Miyazaki Hayao had in making this movie is manifold. It took courage to make this kind of statement in Japan's current political climate, and it took courage to make an intellectually and aesthetically challenging movie in a Japanese film industry that mostly clings to producing empty fluff. It takes guts now just to make something this beautifully weird.

2022 Movie Harvest

And now to line up the movies in a neat little column. As I do every year, I'm ranking all the year's movies I've seen from worst to best. I saw twenty-four new movies in 2022, which is more than usual for me, but there are still a few key films I missed. I really wanted to see Black Panther 2 but an English audio version wasn't playing at a convenient time for me. When it finally comes to Disney+, I'll watch it and come back and plug it into the appropriate spot. But here's what I did see:

24. Chip 'N Dale: Rescue Rangers (my review, Wikipedia entry)

Fans of the original TV series, and of older Disney films and TV series, will find a movie that spits in their eyes and says, "You're welcome."

23. The Seed (my review, Wikipedia entry)

A self conscious imitation of low budget '70s horror cinema, it comes off more as a cheap imitation of more prestigious pastiches by Tarantino and Eli Roth.

22. The Divine Protector: Salt Mistress Begins (Wikipedia entry)

An inoffensive fantasy adventure movie with cheap cgi.

21. Strange World (my review, Wikipedia entry)

The kind of puzzling miscalculation that could only come from a creative team locked in a sound-proof bubble.

20. Thor: Love and Thunder (my review, Wikipedia entry)

The great disappointment of 2022, Taika Waititi, who so deftly handled humour and drama with the previous Thor film, delivered something that totally fumbled on tone.

19. Lightyear (my review, Wikipedia entry)

It's not funny enough to be a comedy and not exciting enough to be an action space adventure. This is another example of a story pulled apart by the conflicting motives of its makers.

18. Glass Onion (my review coming soon, Wikipedia entry)

Daniel Craig grows more charming, and more like Columbo, as Rian Johnson's own super detective. An entertaining cast of supporting characters are introduced with affection that shows Johnson may be softening in his ideological zealotry. Unfortunately, the ending is silly and illogical but presented like the clever solution to a problem.

17. Karada Sagashi (my review, Wikipedia entry)

This Groundhog Day meets It story taps into a young generation hooked on online gaming. Parts of the film are too artificial to work but other parts give us a decent teen drama.

16. Ushikubimura (my review, Wikipedia entry)

A charismatic star and a first act filled with effective supernatural menace are sadly undermined by excessive exposition in the middle act. The third act goes through the motions but all the tension is gone by then.

15. Prey (my review, Wikipedia entry)

In this age of political correctness, I applaud the filmmakers for not allowing ethnic authenticity to stop them from casting the actress they wanted in the lead. There are some fun Rambo-ish moments in the film and the new Predator design is nice but, sadly, most of the action sequences are diminished by bad cgi and the star's hairstyle.

14. Incantation (my review, Wikipedia entry)

A fun, impressively detailed, horror film. It's too reliant on jump scares but the work the filmmakers put into creating a phony cult deserves praise.

13. Barbarian (my review, Wikipedia entry)

A first half built on excellent tension is followed by a second half with many effective qualities. The usual political influences drag the film down a bit but not as much as certain logical inconsistencies in the story. Still, when it works, it works really well.

12. The Batman (my review, Wikipedia entry)

This is the first Batman movie that really doesn't try to push the envelope in any way, staying within the bounds of what Tim Burton and Christopher Nolan proved was effective. It's remarkable that we're so used to filmmakers taking risks with such a prominent IP, The Batman can feel like a bit of a letdown, but, really, it achieves acceptability.

11. Top Gun: Maverick (my review, Wikipedia entry)

A softball, low-stakes adventure story is elevated tremendously by terrific action sequences.

10. Everything Everywhere All at Once (my review, Wikipedia entry)

An inventive concept told in such an engaging way can't be completely diminished by its disappointing finale. Michelle Yeoh is a great lead in a great role here.

9. Pinocchio (my review, Wikipedia entry) Guillermo Del Toro's visually astonishing take on the suddenly popular story isn't nearly as interesting as his take on Nightmare Alley last year. Still, it's a remarkable achievement.

8. Avatar: The Way of Water (my review, Wikipedia entry)

Another visually unique film but what James Cameron achieves is something like a once in a lifetime experience. Even the weak screenplay hardly seems to matter. There are parts of this movie that are absolutely glorious.

7. Turning Red (my review, Wikipedia entry)

A delightful, John Hughes-ish teen comedy that brilliantly transmutes the discomforts and wonders of coming of age.

6. Emily the Criminal (my review coming soon, Wikipedia entry)

A satisfying crime fantasy movie of the Breaking Bad mould. Aubrey Plaza is a scrappy, ruthless anti-heroine and you root for her bad self from beginning to end.

5. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (my review, Wikipedia entry)

I seem to have liked this movie a lot more than a lot of people but some of the discomforts people felt with the plot, especially with the superhero variants, were, I think, just Sam Raimi being a good horror movie director. There were hints, too, of the kind of madness that made Evil Dead 2 a great film. The inventiveness in how both Strange and Wanda used magic was truly refreshing.

4. Crimes of the Future (my review, Wikipedia entry)

It's not David Cronenberg's most groundbreaking film, but it is a return to form and a very welcome one. A meditation on the nature of art and the relationship between the mind and the body, it's of a piece with Cronenberg's lifelong obsession with the blurred line between the two.

3. The Banshees of Inisherin (my review, Wikipedia entry)

At turns delightful and horrific, charming and devastating, subtle and powerful, this deceptively cosy little comedy is a meditation on some of the more difficult to quantify aspects of human need.

2. Three Thousand Years of Longing (my review, Wikipedia entry) A splendid film on the importance of experiencing the fantastic. It's a kind of colourful story very necessary in a world where people are urgently pressured into seeing everything as ones and zeroes.

1. The Fabelmans (my review coming soon, Wikipedia entry)

I really didn't expect this to be my favourite film of the year but, yeah, I have to say it is. The reviews I've read and seen completely miss some of the best parts of it. In a year filled with movies that analyse the nature and value of dreams and storytelling, this one exhibits the most intimate understanding of the concepts involved. It's Steven Spielberg's best movie since Munich and a surprisingly insightful meditation on what it means to be an artist from a filmmaker who's too often looked down upon as being merely entertaining. I have a lot more to say about this movie than any other I saw from 2022 but I'll have to get to that to-morrow.

The Disney Sixty

As you may have noticed, yesterday I finally finished my survey of the Disney Animated Canon. So naturally, to-day I have to rank all the movies. First, I thought I'd comment on the Canon as a whole.

Obviously, the preoccupations present in Disney films have changed over time as their creators changed and the company's philosophy changed. Earlier films placed a greater emphasis on personal responsibility and achievement while, in recent decades, the emphasis is more on personal validation. The intrinsic value of community and family has remained a mostly consistent theme, though, from Snow White to Encanto. These things stand out but there are a few other interesting, less obvious, recurring ideas I noticed.

Sex

Yeah, it's there. Many people comment on romance in Disney films but there's plenty of pure, carnal pleasure in evidence. There are the sexy fairies in Fantasia and the seductive Slue-Foot Sue in Melody Time. But sex in Disney movies wasn't just about titillating the audience--sexual attraction as a motivation integral to the plot is frequently present in the first decades of the canon. Donald Duck and his comrades indulge in unbridled hedonistic pleasure in The Three Caballeros, chasing Carmen Miranda's sister and Mexican women on the beach as they sow their wild oats in foreign lands. Ichabod Crane in The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad is a man of carnal appetite whose lust for Katrina Van Tassel is tied to his greed and gluttony. In Peter Pan, Tinkerbell functions as a symbol of easy, adolescent, sexual gratification as opposed to the potential family symbolised by Wendy. In Lady and the Tramp, it's heavily implied that the two lead dogs have a sexual encounter in the park that leaves Lady ashamed to awaken alone. Curiously, while the 1960s sexually liberated most of the western world, it marked a time when Disney became more reluctant to explore sexuality. It wasn't until the late '80s that sex became part of the story again and, unsurprisingly, it coincided with the company's legendary Renaissance. After the success of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the company was willing to be titillating again and sexually appealing character designs enhanced The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and Pocahontas. However, the stories were less sophisticated in how they commented on the sexuality apparent in the animation. Only The Hunchback of Notre Dame really attempted to approach it but that movie is generally, quite rightly, regarded as an ambitious failure. As American society now has grown increasingly wary of physical intimacy, sexuality has become noticeably less prominent in Disney films.

The Unnaturalness of Sexually Attractive Older Women

This is a strange preoccupation that has cropped up repeatedly throughout the history of the canon, starting with the evil queen in Snow White whose compulsion to be as sexually desirable as her adoptive daughter is shown to be deeply, destructively unnatural. Cruella De Vil's attempts to look sexually glamorous are connected with a compulsion to kill puppies--like the Queen in Snow White, being beautiful herself involves murdering the young. Ursula tries to take Ariel's place in The Little Mermaid and the most egregious example occurs somewhat anachronistically in Tangled in which Rapunzel's stepmother has a desire to appear young that is presented as obviously sick. What is this preoccupation? It could have something to do with the importance placed on family so, therefore, any attempt by one component of a family to redefine their role might be seen as a threat.

Beauty

Some would say beauty is entirely subjective. To some extent, that's true, but there's a consistent universal appeal in youthful, symmetrical features. The reality of beauty can be seen in its constant influence on society at all levels. Naturally, it's unavoidable for Disney and though occasionally their movies present a story like Hunchback of Notre Dame or Beauty and the Beast, seemingly intent on presenting a story about how true love transcends physical appearances, every time, Disney films reinforce the value of physical beauty (Esmeralda does not reciprocate Quasimodo's feelings and the Beast is transformed into a handsome gentleman). In the process, Disney has given us some of the most gorgeous characters ever to grace celluloid or digital.

Management/Entrepreneurship

Walt Disney's belief in capitalism is certainly reflected in his films and in the first decades there was plenty about personal responsibility and the need to eschew short term pleasures. Cinderella is really a story about a girl who uses her difficult upbringing to learn how to be a queen while, a year before, Ichabod Crane was also seen trying to improve his economic standing through marriage (less successfully). Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and Sleeping Beauty all present examples of leadership--showing the benefits of good leadership and the dangers of bad leadership.

Romance

There's a lot less romance in Disney than you'd think. After Snow White, it cropped up memorably in the anthology films but only as vignettes, until Ichabod and Mr. Toad. The complicated dynamic between Ichabod, Brom Bones, and Katrina is left more or less in tact from the original story but actually isn't terribly romantic. Since the Prince is barely in Snow White, I'd say it wasn't until Lady and the Tramp that we got a proper, two sided affair with two three dimensional characters. And after Lady and the Tramp, we wouldn't get it again until Robin Hood. Sadly, both The Rescuers and The Aristocats lobotomise their female leads and the teens in The Black Cauldron seem like they were written by robots. I wouldn't even say The Little Mermaid or Beauty and the Beast are particularly strong in the romance department (Prince Eric never really progresses past a masturbatory fantasy for Ariel). Aladdin has a genuine chemistry between its leads and then . . . That's it. Tarzan and Atlantis both have lopsided pairings with only one fleshed out character and Tangled's preoccupation with conformity stifles its romance. The only romance that's really worked in recent years is the one in Zootopia--which the characters never acknowledge. It kind of makes sense, though, because prepubescent kids, even girls, aren't especially interested in relationships beyond a superficial level.

Children

Pinocchio, Dumbo, and Bambi are three of the best movies about children in the history of cinema. After that, though, children don't make frequent appearances in Disney films. Ironically, the kids in Peter Pan seem more like teenagers, as does Alice in Alice in Wonderland. Winnie the Pooh had some fantastic childlike characters but the child characters in the '80s films--Fox and the Hound, The Great Mouse Detective, and Oliver and Company, are pretty weak, as are the kids in the two Rescuers movies. But that makes sense. Kids like to fantasise about being adults.

Parenthood

The 1960s found Disney releasing a string of films centred on parental figures--Sleeping Beauty, 101 Dalmations, The Sword in the Stone, The Jungle Book, and The Aristocats. I suspect this was likely due to the filmmakers' preoccupations with their own roles as parents at the time. Family, though, is a big concern throughout the canon, whether it's a found family, like in Snow White, or biological family. There is an underlying bias towards biological families sometimes, particularly considering the recurrence of evil stepmothers, but I suspect this is more of a hand-me-down detail from the source materials. Found families are positively portrayed again and again--in Pinocchio, Dumbo, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, The Jungle Book, Oliver and Company, Home on the Range, Bolt, Wreck-It Ralph, and Big Hero 6. And that goes hand and hand with . . .

Community

Again and again, the importance of community is emphasised by Disney movies. If a movie doesn't end with family coming together, it ends with community coming together. Sometimes to the detriment of the story, so committed is Disney to this ideal. The only Disney movie in which we really get any inkling of a dark side to community is Ichabod and Mr. Toad. This was once again due to Disney being extraordinarily faithful to the source material. Ichabod Crane remains the only character in the Disney canon who's punished in the end for being an outsider, even if he is a charming one.

Class

This is one big difference between old Disney and new. During Walt Disney's lifetime, economic and social class were frequently a part of the characters and their stories. You can see it in Snow White, Ichabod and Mr. Toad, and obviously in Lady and the Tramp. And then you see it after Disney's death in The Aristocats, The Rescuers, The Black Cauldron, The Great Mouse Detective and, of course, in Oliver and Company. But after that, it's rarely a factor, with the notable exception of Aladdin. Disney's not alone in its decreased class consciousness as Hollywood in general has been less and less conscious of economic disparity over the past thirty years.

Anyway, here's my ranking:

60. Dinosaur
59. Chicken Little
58. Winnie the Pooh (2011)
57. Meet the Robinsons
56. Home on the Range
55. The Emperor's New Groove
54. Moana
53. Treasure Planet
52. The Princess and the Frog
51. Bolt

50. Big Hero 6
49. Fun and Fancy Free
48. The Aristocats
47. The Rescuers Down Under
46. Hercules
45. Mulan
44. The Hunchback of Notre Dame
43. Tangled
42. Ralph Breaks the Internet
41. Raya and the Last Dragon

40. Encanto
39. The Sword in the Stone
38. Fantasia 2000
37. The Fox and the Hound
36. The Black Cauldron
35. Tarzan
34. Brother Bear
33. The Great Mouse Detective
32. The Rescuers
31. 101 Dalmatians

30. Frozen II
29. Pocahontas
28. Atlantis: The Lost Empire
27. Robin Hood
26. Beauty and the Beast
25. The Lion King
24. The Jungle Book
23. Lady and the Tramp
22. Oliver & Company
21. Lilo and Stitch

20. Wreck-It Ralph
19. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
18. Make Mine Music
17. Zootopia
16. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
15. Bambi
14. Melody Time
13. The Three Caballeros
12. Saludos Amigos
11. Aladdin

10. Peter Pan
9. Fantasia
8. Frozen
7. Cinderella
6. The Little Mermaid
5. Sleeping Beauty
4. Alice in Wonderland
3. Dumbo
2. The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
1. Pinocchio

Twitter Sonnet #1524

The tea's important nights conclude at eight.
Excited voices fail to frazzle weeds.
A trillion blimps could lift the planet's weight.
The line divides the clueless food from feeds.
With timing blank as paper faces start.
We never dreamed of dripping bags for life.
Arrange to cook the callous, broken heart.
The shade is cool but not a living wife.
A special hat was worn to shield the track.
Reducing picture size, we carried film.
Avoid the Atlas job to spare your back.
The candy necklace never broke the helm.
The pencils change to plastic autumn leaves.
The book forever gains increasing leaves.