In the aftershow for the second part of Masters of the Universe: Revelation, Kevin Smith calls the fight between Savage He-Man and Skele-God the best thing he's been a part of in entertainment media in the past twenty years. Is watching a screaming, naked muscle man batter a skeleton with antlers really better than Zack and Miri Make a Porno? Well, it's a nice action sequence, though it borrows a whole lot from Neon Genesis Evangelion, among other things. And as nice as it is to see a traditional animation studio again in the U.S., Powerhouse Animation Studios' work still looks clunky with hideous colours. But the sequence does have some visceral pleasure, especially when He-Man starts tearing the heads off of stone golems. Some more blood would've been nice.
This supposed "He-Man for adults" still seems to be too timid to be quite that. In the very last episode, there's finally a hint of romance between Adam (Chris Wood) and Teela (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and it amounts to no more than a blush. So much for resolving all the old plot threads.
In terms of story-telling, it is entertaining. I compulsively wanted to see one episode after another. The best part, aside from Savage He-Man, is the drama between Evil-Lyn (Lena Headey) and Skeletor (Mark Hamill). An imprisoned Man-At-Arms (Liam Cunningham) tries to stoke the fires of sedition in Lyn who starts to realise she could get along perfectly well without the abusive and single-minded Skeletor.
I suspect the woke stuff everyone complains about on this show actually comes from executive producer Rob David who, in the aftershow, explains Revelations is about "deconstructing He-Man" and then rediscovering what's valuable about him. I guess that's why Teela looks inexplicably like Jason Stathem.
Yet there's plenty in Part 2 that seems suspiciously anti-woke. Was it always there or is it a reaction to the backlash? In any case, the plot takes a sharp turn in episode four with Evil-Lyn now in power and Skeletor teaming up with Adam. Which is, as you might guess, pretty dumb. One episode, Skeletor is massacring the city and vowing to kill He-Man at all costs. The next, Adam's allowing him to strut around unrestrained as the two try to hatch plans.
It's especially odd if you look at Skeletor as an abusive patriarch from whom Lyn finally broke free. It's like Harvey Weinstein teaming up with the police to stop Daria Argento. Actually, maybe that's not so far-fetched.
Lyn and Skeletor have some discussions about the universe, the value of power, and the dichotomy between order and chaos that made me think the writer had been listening to Jordan Peterson. The impression was strengthened when Lyn announced she was tearing down "spirituality" because the truth of the universe is chaos.
Peterson is a genuine intellectual who makes some compelling points (when he isn't overcome by his apparent trauma and occasional paranoia). Revelations does nothing to demonstrate or augment any argument because it has no internal logic. When Sorceress passes her power on to Teela, she laments forcing her daughter into the role that traps her on the grounds of Castle Greyskull. But Teela decides she doesn't want to be trapped there so she isn't. Characters just decide things and they happen, no obstacle feels like it has any weight, no adversary feels like they're a real threat, an impression not alleviated by the scarcity of blood. Kevin Smith complained the old He-Man seemed like it was "for babies" because they never used their swords. I kind of have the same feeling about Revelations.
Masters of the Universe: Revelations is available on Netflix.
Twitter Sonnet #1499
The curry doughnut formed a perfect meal.
We gathered might to switch the stream.
The cosmic weight imbues a talking seal.
We counted words to make a bigger dream.
The extra bread extends the basket case.
For never mad, the shoeless player ran.
And so began the painter's lightning chase.
Another change enlarged the rusty can.
The beefy mass obscured a billion stars.
The magic marble held a secret laugh.
Beneath the castle propped a dozen bars.
The army toys construct a plastic path.
The muscle ball was rolling up the suns.
The glowing skull delivers stupid puns.
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