The Ghost Ship with a Cargo of Wackiness

A cruise is cut short by Nazi ghosts aboard 1980's Death Ship. There are about ten genuinely interesting minutes here and a whole lot of silliness. Of course Wikipedia says this "is considered a cult classic." One of these days, I'm going to see a bad horror movie that no cult wants to claim. I know it's gonna happen some day.

George Kennedy plays Captain Ashland who's on the verge of retirement. He's handing command over to Trevor Marshall (Richard Crenna) who's already aboard with his family for Ashland's last voyage. And then, in a sequence too expensive to entirely film, the ship collides with another at night and only a little raft of survivors remains!

There are some shots of a flooded engine room, a falling piano and then, boom, half a dozen people on a raft. They soon come across the culprit, a rusty old freighter. The film appears to have used a real ship, both for exteriors and interiors, and as they start to explore the thing, I liked attention to details like the bad water coming through the pipes. Then things start to get really silly.

Among the survivors is a sexy young couple, Lori (Victoria Burgoyne) and Nick (Nick Mancusco). They take quarters on the haunted ship, have sex, then Lori has a shower but is shocked to find the water change to blood. Nick finds he's unable to open the shower door.

Not that he tried very hard! My god, you could get that thing open with a butter knife. But after one wack with a wooden plank, Nick runs off to find help. Meanwhile, Ashland's gone crazy and he carries the naked Lori up on deck where Trevor and Nick see him toss her into the sea.

Looks like Kennedy really tosses a full grown woman, too. Not bad for a man of 55. What do Trevor and Nick do? Do they toss Lori a rope ladder or one of the lifesavers visible right next to them in the shot? No, her lover Nick doesn't spare her a second glance, and they run off after Ashland. We never hear about Lori again!

Speaking of butter knives, and I kid you not, in the showdown between Trevor and Ashland, Trevor stabs Ashland with a butter knife. In the gut, through a dress uniform. And it knocks Ashland unconscious.

I could go on. But you can see it for yourself on Amazon Prime.