Like Rats to a Mall

Since Kevin Smith has unexpectedly become a hot topic lately, I decided to go back and watch one of his classics. 1995's Mallrats was usually considered the weakest of Smith's first four films, and I recognise it's not his best, but it's the one I tended to watch most often. I guess because it's his most amoral film without being quite as cartoonish as Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Mallrats still had some of the gritty, '90s independent film vibe from Clerks, but there's less of the young man's urgency to Say Something. Clerks may be the better film, but Mallrats is more companionable. And, of course, now, just about any film from a '90s auteur is a breath of fresh air, coming from what turned out to be a limited period when it wasn't hip to be square.

I remember from listening to the commentary track years ago that part of the original pitch for the movie was something like "Porky's in a mall". To that end, there was some effort to have gratuitous nudity, but in the end all we have is a very brief shot of Joey Lauren Adams' breasts and Priscilla Barnes as the topless fortune teller.

Which certainly is a memorable scene. My favourite line from the scene is when Jeremy London tries to politely pretend that he can't see her third nipple. I like it despite the fact that London, ostensibly the lead character, gives by far the weakest performance in the film, a shrill, one note performance worthy of a SyFy original movie. The star is really Jason Lee as Brodie.

It's no wonder Smith can take it in stride now that half of YouTube is ranting about how he ruined He-Man. Characters like Brodie or Randal from Clerks are basically loving tributes to that kind of grand-standing nerd, who may have seemed more innocuous in the days before the internet, or maybe just the days before everything had to have dire political connotations. Brodie ranting about kids getting stuck in escalators has about the same tone as Clownfish TV. Smith, in his many speaking gigs, has never come off that way himself, and I wonder if it's his Catholic upbringing that makes him love the sinner so much but not the sin.

Brodie is much more charismatic than Randal. Jason Lee is nerdy but also chiselled, barely hiding a lean body gained from a professional skateboarding career. His line delivery takes a variety of tones and shades while also establishing Brodie as a character who will argue to his dying day that Superman would blow a load through Lois like a shotgun. In my turn, I would argue to my dying day that Ryan Reynolds completely ripped off Jason Lee's shtick.

I love Joey Lauren Adams trying on thongs right by the rack and Renee Humphrey's promiscuous-for-science 15 year-old is delightfully wrong but Smith was never good at writing female characters. The girlfriends of the leads are usually saintly--the plot typically involves the guy figuring out he's a dope for not agreeing with everything she says. Even when Smith tried to centre a movie on a female character in Dogma, she just fades into the background behind a mob of more interesting supporting characters. So it's really no surprise Teela didn't turn out so great in his Masters of the Universe.

You know, it sure feels weird talking about the relative virtues of Mallrats and Masters of the Universe.

I did think it was kind of genius having Jason Mewes play Stinkor in Masters of the Universe. But, of course, he will always be Jay.

This was a point where Mallrats benefited from only having Clerks before it. Jay and Silent Bob weren't quite as goofy as they are to-day. They were always dopes but they worked better when Jay was just slightly scary, too. In Clerks, there's always a slight hint that Jay could fly off the handle and do some real damage. There's a little bit of that leftover in Mallrats.

And I haven't even mentioned Michael Rooker, Ben Affleck, Shannon Doherty, Claire Forlani, or Ethan Suplee. Or Stan Lee. There sure is a lot going on in this movie. All under one roof, too. That's another reason it's a favourite for me. I love malls.

The film takes place in New Jersey but the interiors were shot in Eden Prairie Center in Minnesota. It's one of those malls where you can actually roam around inside using Google Maps streetview. It looks like it's undergone some substantial remodels but the Sbarro is still there, 26 years later.

Mallrats is available on Amazon Prime.