Born to Throw Like a Computer

Remember when it was a big deal that the wrong kinds of Asians were cast in Raya and the Last Dragon? Now Prey is really popular and when it's pointed out Amber Midthunder is less than 50% Native American--and 0% Comanche--everyone just shrugs. Even her name is apparently of Norwegian origin, modified from "Midthun". It just goes to show, even in this day and age, if something is really popular, this bullshit doesn't matter.

Not that there aren't people getting neurotic about it, which I find fascinating. Amber Midthunder's Wikipedia entry is the site of an ongoing editing battle, as you can see from the revision history. When I reviewed the film a few days ago, there was a sentence saying she was East Asian on her mother's side. It was removed because none of the three sources cited mentioned this at all. And yet, Angelique Midthunder clearly is Thai. She's a casting director and her picture and biography, listing her place of birth as Bangkok, are on imdb. As I write this blog entry, Amber Midthunder's Wikipedia page only commits to "Amber is of Indigenous American descent and is an enrolled member of the Fort Peck Sioux Tribe." It's clearly a source of drama but it's hilarious because, if you watch Prey, it's clear there's not much thought given to authenticity and realism. Many reviews say otherwise, but come on. Her character, Naru, falls off a tree, twists around in mid fall, and throws a spear through a lion.

You know what would have happened in reality if someone even ten times as strong as Amber Midthunder had thrown a spear like that while falling? The momentum and the arc of the throw would have put the force on the wrong side of the spear and, at best, it would have scratched the lion, if the cat weren't a cgi cartoon to begin with.

And I'm not just picking on Amber Midthunder here. Dakota Beavers manages the same kind of physically impossible cgi stunt later when he's fighting the Predator.

I quote Sex Machine in From Dusk Till Dawn:

Another thing, you try and ram a broken chair leg in a human, you better be one strong son-of-a-bitch. The human body is one rough-tough machine.

What we see more and more in cgi action scenes is what I like to call the "Gambit Effect". Gambit being the mutant from X-Men who can charge any object with kinetic energy, so he can throw playing cards and they're fast as bullets. Ever since Peter Jackson decided King Theoden could shoot a spear from his hand on horseback like a ballista in The Two Towers (2002), all kinds of people have had this power. It's really going to be a letdown when Gambit himself appears in live action.

Why is Prey so popular if Amber Midthunder is racially impure? Maybe race isn't everything. Maybe actors and actresses can play people who aren't like themselves.

Meanwhile, over on Netflix, the star of the previous Predator movie, Boyd Holbrook, is giving the standout performance as the Corinthian.

I finished watching season one a few days ago and it was pretty good, aside from a few extremely awkward moments, particularly the alley scene with Rose and Gilbert. It was never a scene I liked in the comic but it was made ten times worse because someone decided there needed to be a very hastily edited moment where Rose is hinted at being capable of fighting off two armed attackers. I guess maybe I'm in the minority in needing action scenes that have a real sense of physical plausibility. But it's not like there's anyone saying Shia LeBouf swinging through the trees in Crystal Skull is as good as Indiana Jones climbing under the truck in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

But, yeah, Sandman was good. Holbrook is perfect as the Corinthian as is Stephen Frye as Gilbert. Frye has gone from playing Oscar Wilde to essentially playing GK Chesterton now. I nominate him for William Empson next.

Twitter Sonnet #1610

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Every Predator Needs His

2022's Prey is not a terrible film and improves proportionally to how little you take it seriously. The trailers and the director in interviews want you to think this is an important and monumental step for humanity. But it's a silly monster movie with an actress in the lead who's more beautiful than she is skilled. Like a lot of perfectly decent monster movies.

We're not usually expected to believe that the Final Girl is a martial arts genius. Prey has very generous helpings of very obvious cgi and stunt performances in the name of convincing us that Amber Midthunder is a badass and it doesn't work even for a moment.

Obviously I'm going in comparing her to Arnold Schwarzenegger, which would seem natural even if I hadn't watched Predator last week. One reason Schwarzenegger was such a great action star was he was so fucking muscular, obviously, but he also had decent reflexes, which I'd say is more crucial for an action star. Amber Midthunder has neither of these things. She plods through the forest like a modern day teenager randomly plucked from an L.A. mall.

I kept wondering why her hair isn't braided like the other hunters since it was constantly getting in her face. But I realised it's because a) it's sexy and b) it's easier to hide the stunt performers. More and more things pile up against the film's vaunted authenticity. Midthunder isn't even of full Native American heritage, her mother was East Asian. And Midthunder looks it. And the screenplay doesn't do her any favours.

You can tell this was written by simps. I know because when I was a teenage simp I used to write like this. I'd create some douchey guy you're obviously supposed to hate and a beautiful, hyper-skilled girl who puts him down. I'd show the story to a female friend and she'd innocently tell me how much she likes the guy. In retrospect, of course, it makes sense. And in Prey, all these douchey guys in the Comanche tribe we're supposed to hate for standing in her way come off much better than she does. She never has a kind word for any of them, not even her own brother (played by the scene stealing Dakota Beavers), who actually seems to do more damage to the Predator than she does. Midthunder's character ends up coming off as an ungrateful snot.

I really like the Predator's design in this film, though.

It's very different without deviating too much from the original. Some of the action scenes are well put together though an over-reliance on cgi diminishes the impact a lot. Some of the strategies Naru, Midthunder's character, employs in the last act make absolutely no sense unless she can read the Predator's mind. The first film's idea that Arnold Schwarzenegger could hide himself with cold mud is silly but the rest of the film is so good that it works. Naru takes a magic Comanche drug that lowers her body temperature and suffers no ill-effects in the action scenes. I'd say that's a bridge too far.

Prey is available on Hulu in the U.S. and Disney+ elsewhere.