What Would Wood Do?

A wouldbe boy is made of wood.

--A wood bee? Can it fly?

No, no, he would like to be a boy.

--Why would a bee want to be a boy?

Not the bee, the wooden boy would!

--Wooden Boy Wood must have really weird trees.

No, no . . . It's like this, Guillermo del Toro has made a new movie, 2022's Pinocchio. It's a remake of the 1940 classic film, its plot resembling the Disney film much more than it does the 1883 Carlo Collodi novel. As such, it really can't compete with one of the greatest animated films of all time, particularly in terms of songs. But it's not bad and its design and stop motion animation are amazing.

Del Toro moves the story to 1930s Italy and adds a dead son to Geppetto's past. Part of Pinocchio's path to becoming a real boy in this one is stepping out of the shadow of Geppetto's human child. References to World War I and World War II are also contributions from del Toro, making the film somewhat reminiscent of The Devil's Backbone and Pan's Labyrinth.

The best contribution from del Toro is an afterlife Pinocchio visits every time he received a fatal wound. Partially decayed rabbits carry his coffin to a waiting room before Pinocchio goes off to chat with the Blue Fairy's sister, an amazing sphinx-like creature with a mask and wings covered with tiny eyes. She's voiced by Tilda Swinton, too.

But the main story has the same themes as the Disney film, delivered as a plainer allegory, making it feel slightly too long. But the voice actors are all excellent, particularly David Bradley as Geppetto. Cate Blanchett is also really interesting in the role of a monkey whose lines are mostly cries and grunts. Blanchett's always full of surprises.

Pinocchio is available on Netflix.