Bad

Michael Jackson's life contained genius, controversy, complexity, and tragedy. 2026's Michael contains none of those things and has less ingenuity and courage than a two hour M&Ms commercial.

I like Michael Jackson, I was a fan of "Thriller" when I was a kid, especially the music video. These days I tend to think "Billie Jean" is his best song. Don't expect any insight into the writing of these songs in the movie beyond the fact that Jackson liked old horror movies. My level of knowledge about Michael Jackson is about at the level of any average layperson but this movie still told me less than I already knew about him.

I knew Jackson's father, Joseph, also manager for Michael and his siblings, was said to be abusive. To which members of the family, in what ways, and for how long, I didn't know. And I still don't know. We're shown one scene where Joseph takes off his belt menacingly but it's not revealed whether or not he carries out the implicit threat or how often he did so.

I know Michael had a famous sister named Janet who was also a pop star but the film is apparently unaware. Despite featuring his other siblings prominently enough, Janet goes unseen and unmentioned, apparently because the real Janet Jackson objected to the film's sanitised depiction of her family and refused to allow herself to be depicted.

The movie checks off each famous incident in Michael's life that required the least amount of contemplation, like his hair catching fire in the Pepsi commercial shoot or his friendship with the chimpanzee, Bubbles. The film refrains from any rumination on sexuality and only has a few superficial references to race. Detractors and rivals have no presence in the film.

Jaafar Jackson's performance as Michael is unvaryingly bland.

How this movie made so much money, I don't know. I hope to God everyone was texting and making out in the theatre. Those are more worthwhile things to do with your afternoon.