Friday, November 02, 2007

Dreamt last night I was at Parkway Plaza mall, an indoor mall close to here, and I was about to leave the JC Penney's and go into the mall thoroughfare. But the doors were closed, and I didn't see anyone around, despite the fact that it was the middle of the day. The doors weren't locked, though, so I went on in.

I noticed the food court was barricaded with chairs and overturned tables, and I soon realised that there was an extremely agitated white tiger on the loose. I saw it beating the crap out of a bench, battering it was its big paws, and I remember thinking something like, "Gee, thousands of years of conventional wisdom is right--that thing does look dangerous."

The tiger chased me into the bookstore (though it's not a bookstore anymore. Even in my dream, the place that'd been B.Dalton for decades had turned into the temporary calendar store I know it's lately become in real life). I somehow managed to secure the door before the tiger could get inside. I went out the back, finding myself outside the mall, and I walked to the food court from another direction. I re-entered the mall finding no evidence that the tables and chairs had been overturned, and the place was filled with the normal, complacently grazing consumers.

After walking around a little while, the tiger suddenly leapt out from between a couple passers-by and pounced on me.

The second dream I had last night (or maybe it was the first) was that I was among a bunch of tourists in Victorian dress aboard a lovingly replicated ancient Grecian sailing vessel. Although we appeared to be on the open sea, I knew there was an underwater track conveying the ship, and that we were on a late nineteenth century Disneyland ride for The Odyssey. At one point, the track took the ship underwater, but no-one seemed much to mind.

I suppose it's not surprising I'd have such strange dreams after the night's overindulgences. I'd started with two glasses of vodka while watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. The latter show put me in the mood for Nacho Cheese Doritos, something I haven't felt the slightest inclination to eat in years, though I used to love eating them in high school and college. So I walked rather quickly to the Food 4 Less, bought a large bag, and came back here to eat half of it while drinking more vodka and watching Planet Terror. I slept like the dead, but I woke up with a stomach that was very disappointed in my conduct.

My mother's going out of town, so I'm supposed to stay with my sister for the weekend. I'll be going over there shortly. First, here are two exceptionally strange videos I found on YouTube last night; Paul Anka covering "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and Charlotte Church with Amy Winehouse covering "Beat It";

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