Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Born to Throw Like a Computer

Remember when it was a big deal that the wrong kinds of Asians were cast in Raya and the Last Dragon? Now Prey is really popular and when it's pointed out Amber Midthunder is less than 50% Native American--and 0% Comanche--everyone just shrugs. Even her name is apparently of Norwegian origin, modified from "Midthun". It just goes to show, even in this day and age, if something is really popular, this bullshit doesn't matter.

Not that there aren't people getting neurotic about it, which I find fascinating. Amber Midthunder's Wikipedia entry is the site of an ongoing editing battle, as you can see from the revision history. When I reviewed the film a few days ago, there was a sentence saying she was East Asian on her mother's side. It was removed because none of the three sources cited mentioned this at all. And yet, Angelique Midthunder clearly is Thai. She's a casting director and her picture and biography, listing her place of birth as Bangkok, are on imdb. As I write this blog entry, Amber Midthunder's Wikipedia page only commits to "Amber is of Indigenous American descent and is an enrolled member of the Fort Peck Sioux Tribe." It's clearly a source of drama but it's hilarious because, if you watch Prey, it's clear there's not much thought given to authenticity and realism. Many reviews say otherwise, but come on. Her character, Naru, falls off a tree, twists around in mid fall, and throws a spear through a lion.

You know what would have happened in reality if someone even ten times as strong as Amber Midthunder had thrown a spear like that while falling? The momentum and the arc of the throw would have put the force on the wrong side of the spear and, at best, it would have scratched the lion, if the cat weren't a cgi cartoon to begin with.

And I'm not just picking on Amber Midthunder here. Dakota Beavers manages the same kind of physically impossible cgi stunt later when he's fighting the Predator.

I quote Sex Machine in From Dusk Till Dawn:

Another thing, you try and ram a broken chair leg in a human, you better be one strong son-of-a-bitch. The human body is one rough-tough machine.

What we see more and more in cgi action scenes is what I like to call the "Gambit Effect". Gambit being the mutant from X-Men who can charge any object with kinetic energy, so he can throw playing cards and they're fast as bullets. Ever since Peter Jackson decided King Theoden could shoot a spear from his hand on horseback like a ballista in The Two Towers (2002), all kinds of people have had this power. It's really going to be a letdown when Gambit himself appears in live action.

Why is Prey so popular if Amber Midthunder is racially impure? Maybe race isn't everything. Maybe actors and actresses can play people who aren't like themselves.

Meanwhile, over on Netflix, the star of the previous Predator movie, Boyd Holbrook, is giving the standout performance as the Corinthian.

I finished watching season one a few days ago and it was pretty good, aside from a few extremely awkward moments, particularly the alley scene with Rose and Gilbert. It was never a scene I liked in the comic but it was made ten times worse because someone decided there needed to be a very hastily edited moment where Rose is hinted at being capable of fighting off two armed attackers. I guess maybe I'm in the minority in needing action scenes that have a real sense of physical plausibility. But it's not like there's anyone saying Shia LeBouf swinging through the trees in Crystal Skull is as good as Indiana Jones climbing under the truck in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

But, yeah, Sandman was good. Holbrook is perfect as the Corinthian as is Stephen Frye as Gilbert. Frye has gone from playing Oscar Wilde to essentially playing GK Chesterton now. I nominate him for William Empson next.

Twitter Sonnet #1610

A friendly chill attacked the wolfish town.
Prepared for Yule, the elves were flattened drunk.
It seemed the mountain wore a rocky frown.
From birth, the basket braggart claimed to dunk.
Potato slices drown in miracles.
The clash of shades contracts about the soul.
Confession chills like cooking chemicals.
The breaking sign dissolves a deeper hole.
Confusing zombies filled the basement pail.
We looked for cups to hold a sea of fish.
The water dream recurs to sate the whale.
A big opinion cowed the humble wish.
The heavy movie house was filled with foam.
The spirits offer gifts in silk and chrome.

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