Thanksgiving in January

Now, that's what I call a feel good movie. 2023's Thanksgiving is the bloody holiday slasher with notes of satire I needed. It was very hard to stop smiling while watching it.

This is the latest film to come from 2007's Grindhouse, which at this point must be one of the most successful unsuccessful movies of all time. Originally a double feature consisting of Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror and Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof, it also featured several fake trailers for films inspired by exploitation films of the 1970s. There was a trailer for Machete by Robert Rodriguez which he ended up making into two movies, there was Werewolf Women of the SS by Rob Zombie (the weakest of the lot), Don't by Edgar Wright (very funny), and, finally, the unexpected cream of the crop, Thanksgiving by Eli Roth.

It has to be said, the feature film is nowhere near as extreme as the trailer. There's really no nudity (aside from one bare bottom), no weird sex gags, and the giant Indian head was removed from the parade which now consists entirely of pilgrims, much like the Thanksgiving stuff on Wednesday. Isn't it interesting how political correctness has erased Native Americans from the holiday?

It's kind of sad, all these pilgrims, dressed up and waiting for their Indian dinner dates who will never arrive.

But as was suggested in RedLetterMedia's review of the film, I think 2023's Thanksgiving may be meant to be a 21st century remake of the faux '70s movie shown in the trailer. So it's not meant to be counted among grindhouse movies now but among 2020s slashers, which are careful to avoid sensitive political issues and sex even as they're willing to indulge in extravagant gore and torture.

Eli Roth is a big fan (and former collaborator) of David Lynch (he even made his own Twin Peaks knock-off show, Hemlock Grove). Like Twin Peaks, Thanksgiving presents us with a cast of small town characters, any of whom could be the killer, and Roth teases us with various clues. When the killer's identity is revealed, it's pretty satisfying and makes a lot of sense, even though I didn't guess it.

The beginning of the film is a brilliant mix of mounting tension and dark humour worthy of Hitchcock. A Black Friday (beginning, of course, on Thursday night) steadily goes from rough and ominous to baroquely catastrophic. Roth's sense of timing and detail is impeccable. Especially memorable is the man in the crowd who cuts his throat on a piece of broken glass when he's shoved through a broken door. Of course, his life's blood oozing away, he still staggers to the coveted waffle irons.

I wish I could've seen this movie in November but, I must say, it was so magical it took me back in time. I felt like it was Thanksgiving when I was watching it. Thank you, Eli Roth.

Thanks for Simpsons

And now it's Thanksgiving for you in the U.S. too. I thought I found a perfect Thanksgiving movie last night which I'd never seen before but then my internet went to shit and I couldn't finish it. So maybe I'll talk about it another day. So I just watched "Bart vs. Thanksgiving" again.

It's hard to believe how good The Simpsons used to be. This 1990 episode was the show's first Thanksgiving episode. Lisa creates a centrepiece for Thanksgiving dinner which Bart heartlessly destroys to make room for the turkey. So the little boy runs away with the dog and learns a lesson on the wrong side of the tracks. Bart's thoughtlessness feels like the authentic thoughtlessness of a bratty child. I love the bit where he offers to help his mother make dinner and his effort involves asking her for help for every step despite his task consisting only of getting cranberry sauce out of a can.

But my favourite gag is the Macy's parade announcer who, observing the deflating Bullwinkle balloon, says Bullwinkle is "getting a taste of his own medicine." When his cohost points out this makes no sense, the announcer adds, "Now he knows how the pilgrims felt!" It's absurd but also an accurate portrayal of fried, low level television personalities of the time.

The Simpsons is available on Disney+.

X Sonnet #1792

Enforced returns escape but once a year.
Of dusty tomes the sleeper loudly speaks.
A stringy meat adorns the native's spear.
Beyond's a house where ev'ry tile squeaks.
With broken pepper, Holly steals the house.
A list of problems stopped the jolly day.
Computers never care about a mouse.
There's always clicking data 'long the way.
In many forms, the splendid fowl appears.
Adorned with stars, his wattles brightly blaze.
No chicken counts among his saintly peers.
My friends, upon the mighty turkey gaze.
The looming dinner broke the silverware.
The bird awaits in Christmas underwear.

Thanksgiving Bourbon and Bearclaw

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. It's Labour Day here in Japan so I get the day off. I basically celebrated Thanksgiving last night. I roasted a chicken breast in my convection oven and drank some Wild Turkey. I always like to drink bourbon in autumn, I suppose because it pairs well with both Halloween and Thanksgiving. I bought a big bottle of Wild Turkey 101 at a department store. The regular supermarkets and drug stores here tend to carry only the 80 proof version and what the hell is even the point of that? Might as well buy Jack Daniels.

The Wild Turkey 101 was particularly tasty this year. Maybe it's my imagination but it seems to have more of a vanilla flavour than before. I hope it's not a sign of desperation they're pushing an 80 proof version and adding sweetener. Well, I have been enjoying it this year.

I couldn't decide on a Thanksgiving movie. I wanted to watch The Searchers but didn't feel like paying to rent it. Then I saw Paramount+ had Breakfast at Tiffany's filed in their holiday movies for some reason. So I watched that. Holly Golightly as portrayed by Audrey Hepburn remains one of the greatest characters in the history of cinema. It's more than just her iconic look. This woman who lives in a constant fear of settling seems so authentic, both for the writing and Hepburn's performance. What it has to do with Thanksgiving, I have no idea, unless it's the fact that breakfast is a meal?

Thanks for All the Chicken

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, though I guess it's still Tuesday right now in much of the U.S. It's Wednesday here in Japan as I write this, just after 11am. To-day's Labour Day in Japan, so I get the day off, so I guess I'll celebrate Thanksgiving to-day. I don't know if it's possible to get turkey around here. The reason, according to legend, KFC is so popular during Christmas in Japan is because some Americans visiting Japan in the '70s ate at a KFC when they couldn't find turkey. I think the real reason is actually KFC's really successful ad campaign from the '70s or '80s but turkey is really hard to find here. I've never seen it in the supermarket, anyway. What I'd really like to find is some nice big American pumpkins. People here are content with the little green Japanese pumpkin.

Here's a picture from the art club at the school I currently work at:

I drew the sombre Mario and Luigi for some reason, students added the red to their noses and faces and other embellishments. I don't know who Tamaki or Tamatyan is but he's evidently someone's favourite character.

Twitter Sonnet #1644

A mild jungle walk exhibits cats.
Provided droopy suns could keep it fresh.
Assessing human thought, the creature chats.
The grain demands another day to thresh.
The eager orc was only slowing life.
A science snared the name of witch for gold.
A mountain yields again the mental knife.
The Martian young defied the Earthling old.
A swirling fire bounced to van of chump.
Advancing men were making pipes to clean.
We never built a bilge without a pump.
A likely ear discerned the book of bean.
The bigger bird would break the eastern chair.
The danger lay in flying mammal air.

Thank Birds

I hope everyone back in the U.S. had a good Thanksgiving. Here in Japan, there's Labour Thanksgiving Day, which was created after World War II to replace the old harvest festival of Niiname-sai. It's on November 23 so it was on Tuesday this year. That doesn't stop the shops around here from having Black Friday.

I came up with a little power point to tell classes of second year junior high school students about Thanksgiving. I also made some illustrations for it. See if you can answer this question: