Friday, October 07, 2016

Exactly What He Seems

I'd like to point out that Billy Bush is here exactly the kind of scumbag I always thought he was. In the brief occasions when I've seen him hosting red carpet things. He instantly comes off as slimy. But, yes, obviously Trump is the headline--Trump comes off as exactly the scumbag HE'S OBVIOUSLY BEEN ALL ALONG. Just look what I wrote yesterday, before I even heard about this recording:

But then again, at least I know Ash would genuinely try to help people while Trump is obviously just waiting to see how he can divvy up the country for the highest bidders. And Ash, while he's crude in his flirtations with women, doesn't tend to verbally attack them when they don't go along with him.

Trump has called the recording just "locker room talk". What does that mean? Is the locker room a place where you say you're going to commit sexual assaults but you don't mean it? I'm glad I've avoided gym class for the past twenty years.

The thing is, I bet a lot of Trump voters will accept this explanation. I mean, that's the only reason they'd have been cool with him so far, except the people with some vague, bullshit dream about Trump being in charge causing some wonderful, glorious chaos revolution. As bad as that would be, I would say to you, no, Trump is not the Joker. Trump is the Penguin. And not even Danny DeVito's Penguin; he's Burgess Meredith. Well, okay, now that I think about it, the Danny DeVito version running for office and saying Catwoman is "Just the pussy I've been looking for" makes him fit even better but, damnit, Trump doesn't deserve the army of penguins affectionately carrying him to a watery grave.

The point is, Trump is not your agent of chaos. He's your agent of cubic zirconia. Blood cubic zirconia. Please, America, turn off the Home Shopping Network, do not order this.

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