Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Continuing Story of Medicine and Lasers

Looks like I have another urinary tract infection--it cost me a trip to the ER and a CAT scan to find this out. Yesterday I was pretty alarmed to notice I was pissing blood, and my first instinct was to go straight to a hospital. But my second instinct was, "I'll be in a massive financial hole." So I asked my grandmother for advice, describing my symptoms, and she immediately told me with complete confidence that I had a urinary tract infection and that I need to take Ciprofloxacin. So I went to the grocery store to buy cranberry juice, but while I was there my mother called and talked me into going to the ER as she felt there was a good possibility that I had a kidney stone or some other kind of kidney infection. Indeed, every site I googled strongly urges you to see a doctor immediately for signs of blood in the urine. All the same, this is one of those times I wish I'd been less responsible, because not only was my grandmother right about me having UTI, she even knew precisely the antibiotic I needed.

From what I see online, it looks like my bill's likely going to be at least 5,000 dollars, possibly as much as 9,000. I don't actually know, and I intend to apply for aid from the San Diego County Medical Service. But their eligibility requirements are a little vague, most notably in regards to people without a real income. So I'm bracing myself for the worst case scenario.

If nothing else works out, I'll need to get a job to pay this off, which means I'm not going to be able to work on my comic nearly as much. So, if you're a fan of my work, or you just want to help me out, now is a very good time to donate;

Any amount you can spare would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

I was in the ER waiting room for almost six hours, mostly just staring into space, since I neglected to bring my book. An oddly prescient episode of Family Guy was on the television, where the Griffin family were in a Veterinarian's waiting room while Brian was seeing the doctor about something wrong with his stomach. Peter was complaining about the bill, and I sort of wondered if the hospital would censor that bit, if they could.

I had to ride around in a wheel chair, and I was wheeled into the CAT scan room without even being told what was going to happen. It wasn't until I was under the laser that it occurred to me, "I think I'm getting a CAT scan." And then I thought, "Shit. These things are really expensive." Am I crazy, or shouldn't they tell you first if they're going to use one of those things?

I also had the wonderful experience of stripping down and wearing a hospital gown in the coldest examination room in San Diego. Of all things, Borat was on the television, the scene where Borat and his manager have a long naked brawl in a hotel. I overheard a nurse outside complaining to one of her co-workers about a sexual harassment memo; "If I can't touch the patients, and I can't touch my co-workers, who can I touch?" All this somehow conspired to make me feel more comfortable than I had in days.

I guess if there's a silver lining to all this, it's that I probably will be able to drink coffee again eventually. And that's not bad. Right?

Last night's tweets;

Warn me if you're going to CAT scan me.
They move chairs and lasers while I'm insane.
Sorry about flashing anatomy.
Somehow, hospital yoghurt is not plain.

No comments:

Post a Comment