How to Find a Real Cat?

Twitter Sonnet #63

Merlin's the least canny man in England.
Sometimes the flora isn't green enough.
That's when bright green coloured light lends a hand.
Finding just grey punctuation is rough.
Story's the scrabbled eggs in the muffins.
Contrary instincts make mages aloof.
Delivering plate mail are fey dolphins.
Silver scale faerie gowns are waterproof.
No-one told me that the blinds fall slowly.
Alcohol eliminates dust and air.
Perhaps helping hands are badly holy.
Rarest pleasure is the honest nightmare.
Memories are in one hundred percent.
And to that much the fake cat won't assent.

People on the internet sure like to be bulbous. One of the things that kept me away from World of Warcraft was all the Popeye arms and legs, and how everything seemed to have a big stumpy end. It was cute in Warcraft 2, but I felt a whole World of Warcraft needed something a little subtler. I've noticed Blizzard's been moving away from that aesthetic, most notably with the Blood Elves, but I see it elsewhere too--I was noticing it in Second Life last night, where I wandered a while. I got myself "age certified" as part of Second Life's new content restrictions, and I actually had to jump through a few hoops to get it, so I figured I might as well enjoy it. But, as I remembered, most of the "adult" areas were made up of basic, bright coloured shapes. I guess people are too busy boinking on poseballs to work on the scenery.

But I also noticed the few people I saw roaming around were either of the scary skeleton variety or the oddly protruding lumps of flesh variety. In both cases, tentacles of gaudiness invariably seemed to be reaching from them in the form of platinum hair or cartoonishly gleaming bling. I don't mean to sound so superior, I know not everyone's an artist, and everyone should be allowed to get their kicks, provided they're not hurting anyone else. But I offer this piece of gentle advice--maybe try toning it down a little? Imagine an entire world populated by a sitcom "annoying uncle" character in a loud plaid suit carting around his "inventions". That's mostly what Second Life looks like to me nowadays. And the internet in general, for that matter. I suspect this is not the sexiness you really dreamed of.

I suddenly wish I had a spare 1500 dollars, as I would certainly like to enrol in Werner Herzog's Rogue Film School. One of my favourite bits from the website;

Censorship will be enforced. There will be no talk of shamans, of yoga classes, nutritional values, herbal teas, discovering your Boundaries, and Inner Growth.

Oh, yes. I want to say this as plainly, and as loudly as possible--

FUCK HERBAL TEAS.

I mean that.

I also like this;

Follow your vision. Form secretive Rogue Cells everywhere. At the same time, be not afraid of solitude.