Sunday, August 23, 2009

Default Belle of the Ball

I just had an object lesson in how alcohol can slow reaction time--walking back from my parents' house, I spotted one of those enormous webs with a gigantic orange spider in the middle I tend to post photos of from time to time--I spotted it a second before I walked into it. Fortunately, I saw the spider, a specimen with a particularly bloated orange abdomen, scrambling up the remains of the web.

I'd had a scotch at my parents' house, where I talked to my sister, who'd recently returned from BlizzCon. BlizzCon, judging from my sister's description, must be the saddest place on earth.

She told me the vast majority of the people there were men ages 40 to 50, large, and extremely smelly. She said when she walked to the restroom, she had to go through curtains of body odour. She said there was maybe one girl for every twenty guys and that, despite the fact that she and her co-worker weren't in WoW costumes and didn't know the first thing about the game, they were both treated like celebrities simply for being pretty girls. I'm not exaggerating.

My sister and her friend Kelly were there running a shuffleboard game as part of a promotion for some computer hardware she didn't know much about. When a Con goer asked her about it, she referred him to one of the tech guys and he said, "I should've known you were a dumb blonde. No offence." Other guys walking past shouted "Whores!" at her and Kelly. I speculated to my sister that the ease of escape from social situations and anonymity on the internet breeds people whose social skills are made up entirely of inconsiderate and insensitive devices.

On the other hand, when another guy asked her where she was from, and when she told him, he replied, "Oh, I thought you were from heaven." Which, you know. Was nice, at least.

When my sister and Kelly decided to go on a ride set up for Starcraft, which was a metal sphere with wrist, ankle, and waist straps that suspended a person in the centre while the whole contraption spun horizontally and vertically, an entire crowd of cheering guys formed who preceded to line up afterwards to pose for pictures with the girls and to get autographs from them.

So. BlizzCon sounds even less worthwhile now. Though my sister also said she met a couple who'd met through WoW, which seemed sweet, though I can't imagine how one could even begin a relationship like that through the game.

My tweets from last night;

Most dwarves have way too much time on their hands.
At least I can always rely on them.
One day I will conquer all English lands.
And have a different tea for every limb.

I discovered yesterday that Lauren Bacall twitters thanks to Bill Corbett retweeting a comment from the lady that she posted as three tweets;

Yes I saw Twilight my granddaughter made me watch it, she said it was the greatest vampire film ever.After the "film" was over I wanted to..smack her accros her head with my shoe, but I do not want a book called Grannie Dearest written on me when I die, so instead I gave her a...DVD of Murnau's 1922 masterpiece Nosferatu and told her, now thats a vampire film! and that goes for all of you! watch Nosferatu instead!

Epic, as the kids say, win.

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