Thursday, May 07, 2009

Sustenance Strategies

Twitter Sonnet #16

Ay, my room always seems to want dusting.
A painter thought he saw a red mountain.
Love strange things casually existing.
Like an Italian restaurant Russian.
Don't know what my headaches want anymore.
I try apples, tea, coffee, and spinach.
I shall try getting to sleep before four.
Switching to rum and the craft of the witch.
Water rations should consider ravens.
And employ lovely Rita, meter maid.
Wonka factories must be ant havens.
But Oprah oughta sponsor a brute raid.
How do veggies and rice rate as breakfast?
Longer than oatmeal I hope it'll last.

I was at my parents' house for dinner yesterday and it was there I heard about Oprah Winfrey buying Kentucky Fried Chicken dinners for everyone in the country for two weeks. I'm a little torn about how I feel about this--on the one hand, I know KFC's been trying to crawl out from under the "fried" stigma in a faux-health conscious country for a while now and this is a pretty ingenious way of doing it. On the other hand, I'd like to think Oprah's motive here is totally altruistic--it's free food for everyone--well, everyone with access to a computer and a printer, so pretty much only people who could easily afford the meal anyway. But, er. Free food in a bad economy . . .

But on the one tentacle, as much as the new grilled chicken is supposed to be better than the old fried chicken, surely Oprah could've spent the same money and fed people for a month with healthier choices from the supermarket? On the other tentacle, it's not like the supermarket has a full course meal for the same price.

But on the penis, what's wrong with an old fashioned can of beans, an apple, and a gallon of oatmeal? That can't be much more expensive. But on the clitoris, maybe I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

On the hecta-sex alien proboscis, shouldn't our overlords be providing this? Though on the geometrically impossible appendage, Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

I went Mother's Day shopping to-day and had breakfast at a Japanese place--a vegetable roll and vegetable tempura. I've noticed different places have different philosophies about tempura. Despite almost always being listed as an appetiser, depending on the restaurant, the serving is either a few small pieces or a massive pile which no reasonable person would call less than a meal. The place I was at to-day was of the latter philosophy but I somehow managed to choke it down. Hopefully it means I won't be hungry for a while as I have a lot to do to-day.

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