Friday, July 03, 2009

When the Dumb Talk

Last night's tweets;

English dubbed anime still sucks ass.
Sounds classy as a used car commercial.
It's always the same Canadian cast.
Money they make, talent they could marshal.

This was prompted by seeing the trailer for the upcoming U.S. theatrical release of the first Rebuild of Evangelion movie. It'd been a while since I heard English dubbed Evangelion--I'd forgotten how astonishingly awful it is. And yet it's par for the course for English dubbed anime. It's funny how they don't tell the celebrities involved with the Hayao Miyazaki dubs to adopt extremely phoney sounding affectations. "This is how it's done! Talk like your little sister begged you to do the voices while reading a story you really hate." I honestly don't know how the productions studios aren't tremendously embarrassed by these products, and then I remember all the money they make off of the incredible imported animation.

I was excited to read about the second Rebuild movie on AICN, which is currently in Japanese theatres. The AICN piece says, "The film took in $5.37m (Y512m) - for comparison, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opened at $5.88m (Y560.7m)," which is slightly comforting after I read about the spat between Michael Bay and Megan Fox in which she said, "I mean, I can't shit on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don't want to blow smoke up people's ass. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting."

To which Michael Bay replied that he 100% disagreed and added, "Nick Cage wasn't a big actor when I cast him, nor was Ben Affleck before I put him in Armageddon. Shia LaBeouf wasn't a big movie star before he did Transformers -- and then he exploded. Not to mention Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, from Bad Boys."

To which I reply, What?

Can Michael Bay really be that deluded a motherfucker? Holy shit, Megan Fox must have only cut off a steady stream of ass smoke for a split second. Does he honestly not know about the hit sitcoms Shia LeBeouf, Will Smith, and Martin Lawrence were all in before he cast them? Or Good Will Hunting? And--Nicholas Cage--holy shit. Really, Michael? You never heard of Moonstruck, Peggy Sue Got Married, Raising Arizona, Honeymoon in Vegas--fucking Leaving Las Vegas for which he won an academy award a year before he appeared in your aptly named The Rock for being dumb as?! Do you spend more than twenty seconds a day without a sycophant's mouth around your cock? Holy fucking shit.

Not to mention he took Megan Fox's characterisation of Transformers as an attack on his career as a director. What a fucking infant.

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